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Henk Holveck Apr 2023
In the beginning, we bartered hearts like merchants at a bazaar,
each of us donning silver smiles and guarded eyes,
holding a currency of whispers and half-truths,
our souls up for auction, a tangled web of worth.

I've always been a collector of broken things,
an archivist of fractured dreams,
a believer in the beauty of the mended,
but this time, I am the jagged porcelain,
cradled in your hands, asking to be whole.

You wove love into me like a tapestry,
threaded through my aching seams,
you took my tattered edges, stitched them tenderly,
and I could almost believe I am deserving,
though I wear this love like borrowed garments,
a thrift store treasure, waiting to be claimed.

Oh, how we danced in the shadows of our doubts,
with the moon as our witness, we pirouetted,
brushed fingertips like shooting stars,
my heart a hummingbird, in the cage of my chest.

I have held shame like a secret lover,
nestled in the crook of my neck, a serpent's breath,
it whispered in my ear, "you're not enough,
you're a counterfeit soul, a fool's gold,
a price too steep, a debt too deep."

I've chased oblivion, doused in liquid fire,
a self-destructive waltz, a frenzied masquerade,
but you, you held me close, a lighthouse in the storm,
your love, a compass guiding me to shores unseen.

Together, we excavated the depths of my despair,
traveled through the catacombs of my heart,
our love a language, a dialect of healing,
a lexicon of scars and whispered apologies.

I have been a doubter, a skeptic of my worth,
but you taught me to seek the gold within my veins,
to peel back the layers of rust and fear,
to find the precious, the hidden, the unseen.

And now, we stand at the edge of a precipice,
our love a fragile bridge, swaying in the breeze,
I tremble, unsure, a hesitant traveler,
but you, you hold my hand, and together, we leap.

In this uncharted landscape, we forge our destiny,
a mosaic of laughter and tears, a tapestry of dreams,
our love, a currency worth more than silver or gold,
for we are the treasure, the priceless, the untold.
Nicole Ann Apr 2023
i go to bed trying to sleep
at the crack of dawn
where I hear the morning birds
chirp me lullabies
i’ve been playing too long
with fellow moon
that I’ve forgotten how life was
without the darkness
it's been a couple years since I last checked out this website, glad to see it's still running <3
yann Apr 2023
other people have forced me to bear the price of my own loneliness.
i was its first victim, its first culprit,
my hand, though, was not the one to take aim
and fire the most hurtful shot of all ;
isolation.

i do not look at you with vengeful eyes, because i have learnt to hold kindness preciously.
it is my sadness that is piercing, strong enough
to break my heart,
angry enough to build it back,
worse, if needed, just to go on and  
survive.
03.04.23 - 1:55, after a meal at the indian place, with all the people who don't care and the few who do. after the walk to the train, together. after the walk back, alone. after this year.
C E Ford Mar 2023
Somewhere out in another universe,
I'm 12 years old
and I'm sitting on my bed listening to something through
a hopelessly tangled white headphone string,
flipping through the dog-eared pages
of my favorite book while everyone is sleeping.

The sticky, syrupy air of summer floats through an open window
and nothing bad has happened to me,
no scalding words or hot fingers
etching their prints into my skin.

I haven't menstruated or fallen in love or  yet shrunk myself down
or any of the things that made me a woman.

I am warm in my white tank top
and the blue satin shorts with the printed clouds
wondering about trips to the beach
and sticker placements on my new notebook from Borders.

And I hope she's always able to stay like this,
that she never knows of the kinds of stains
that won't wash out of her white tank top.

And that every once in a while,
I might just catch a second of her laughing
from the room next door.
Grief is never linear. Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of your workday thinking of how another you in another universe is doing.

And I really hope that she's doing okay.
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
Carry it
Carry it
Carry the pain

I wrote you a letter
I watched it burn
I drowned it
I drown you
Now it's your turn
You've been drowning
Me
For so long
No more,
Atlas I can hear
my own song
I watch you drown
I can finally
Calm
Down

I can finally
Carry it
The pain
Will never go
This I know
I can carry it
With me as I go
Into the sun
I was never much a fan
As I let it in
I can feel it in my skin
I can
Carry it
Within

I wrote you a letter
I watched it drown
It came back up
From the ground
It came back to me
I turned around
Don't look back
Whispered to me
I took the hands
Of my future
To be
I walked away
Never again
I say

Never again
Let myself drown
Never again
Lose my own sound
I hope
I pray
Never again
To feel that way
I will carry it
Every day
I will carry myself
To a better place

I wrote you that letter
With all my heart
I drowned you
Without a second thought
Goodbye
And good riddance
I am free
I am free
I am free
To carry it
To be me
I am free
Of drowning
In your guidance
I am free
Of your tyranny
Goodbye
And
Hello
To me
Again
I'm my new
Beloved friend
❤️
irinia Mar 2023
pain loves the present tense
it loves gravity so that the clouds
are turned into geological strata
sometimes I use my hands like an anaesthetic
between right and wrong the pain dillema:
to feel or not to feel (the unknown)
we discover clever remedies or illusions
quiet cannery in the storehouse of flesh

it comes in circles mixtures all kind of names
it has rythm texture electric blackness
each unshed tear an orb of contraction
compulsive excavation of the void inside
sometimes I feel I have canyons of salt in my heart
on the edges of safety so much to learn about terror

this pain is a blind Robinson on Hope island
(with his bare hands he sets pyres in his heart)
was it pain that invented this language, these holy wars?
love you, hate you, nonsense, can't stand it anymore
I know my father lied to me that he doesn't feel pain

bodies in pain can't dream the water slide of life
that might take us further away into the night of day
time to say thank you, say farewell,
love everything that simply is
it is time to
Frannie Mar 2023
Isolated and crippled from the fear of being alone
No one to turn to, trapped by my feelings of of doing it all on my own.
Where can I find solace when my only ally is me?
How can I find comfort when I’m struggling to break free?
Surround by nothing but darkness, there’s nothingness all around
Drowning in my own echos with no one to absorb the sound.
Free me from myself for I am and completely lost in time
I’m trapped in who I used to be, I can’t adjust to this new paradigm.
The journey I’m on is mine alone, so I have to keep on this journey
No one to guide me, I’m doing this solo, I have to be my own attorney.  
Slowly growing and making some traction, but I have to keep on going
Redefining myself and who I can be but I love the way I’m growing.

Arms outstretched ,

her awakening spirit--
  Stardust-clad,
within the celestials..
These pirouettes,  bourne
on nothing but air--
   ((free air..))

She is beginning;;
and as she does
her spirit stretches back
to a time  before creation;

..as she Unfolds
as she  maintains
underneath  this blanket   of Love
   she  now  feels.

And like  a hen
that gathers her chicks;
her newfound  wings
pull all the  pieces  of her  own heart
back to her self..

Back to her-self


       (( back  to  herself. ))
..and against all odds, she sings.


"People see me
I'm a challenge, to your balance..
I'm over your heads,
how I confound you  and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders,
God's own creation

And as far as you see,
you can offer me no explanation

  Ooh,  I believe

Fate smiled..  and destiny--
laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able

Laughed as my body, she lifted
Know this child will be gifted..

With love, with patience,
and with faith,
She'll make her way.."

She'll make her way  <3
https://youtu.be/8dlzOGeq3C0?t=14
My friends,
We try to stay safe through doing what is familiar
By avoiding those places of pain and discomfort within ourselves.
And we may stay safe...
Safe within the walls of our self constructed prison
Safe in our loneliness and isolation
Safe in the same old patterns which keep us narrow, small...
But safe.

And in this place we fear to open the unlocked door to our own liberation...
We fear to step out into the light
Because we know that to find our glorious presence
We must travel through some dark corridors in our minds
Through some fearful rooms within our soul.
Confront places of pain in our hearts
And release the tears which are trapped there.

Lean into the mystery
my friends.
Lean into the discomfort...
It may be that there is a force there to support you
That you will remain buoyant as the winds of life flows past around and through you.

But it may be that as you lean... you fall....

You may fall into the abyss of mystery and unknowing.
Fall into a new and unknown space,
Where you do not know who you are
Or what to do next...
And in that dark obscured space you must feel you way forward with your heart,
Step into your wholeness and be guided by that deep ancient force with in you
Your old familiar ways will not work here.

What will you find there?
Deep in that space of mystery
That none may charter except for yourself
What new wonders will be uncovered?
What new gifts are waiting?
If we only have the courage to abide with our selves
If even for a moment?
How will you know unless you take a deep breath.
Still your mind
And lean forward into that Abyss...

Lean my friends and find out...
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