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Sadie S Oct 2015
I looked for a word to say.
   but I could not find one today.
I had hoped to find a word that would stay in your heart.
   That would show you exactly what tore us apart.

I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply.
I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately.
I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly.

I look at you and I cannot tell what is in your eyes.
   I speak directly to you but all that comes out of your mouth are lies.

I see how you hurt.
I see how you hurt me.
I just do not understand.

All your true feelings are kept and safely hidden in a far far away land.
   Is this a land we call love?
And now it is a destruction.
   A land God has made from above.
And now we call it seduction.

Its true in a way we both long for each other.
  But we both see to long for another.
Another human being we both thought we were
   But now it seems that this human being I thought you were is now a blur.

This is a bitter sweet heart
   That will end in eradication.
This is a bitter sweet part that needs some construction.

Why I hold on?
I do not know.
I probably will never know why.

I should move forward... Yes
But I feel like I would rather just die.

You caused obliteration deep into my heart.
You caused obliteration because you thought it was smart.

I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply
I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately.
**I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly
10/14/2015
JDK Aug 2015
I swear I'm on to you;
your subtle way of flirting with every single thing you do.

I'm not into it.

And maybe you're just sick -
infected with an early development problem that's grown into a nasty habit.

Whatever the case may be,
it's become a source of contention.
Lately, I've been thinking -
you're just some ***** who craves attention.
With this phrase always in the back of my head:
"Says the girl who has a boyfriend . . . "
silent scars Jul 2015
War
My heart is on fire
My mind is a liar
But you say I'm just tired
Not depressed

But I've confessed
There's this pain in my chest
And this level of sadness
Is only growing higher

Leave me alone
I want to be on my own
This place is not a home

This is where my thoughts deepen
This bed that I sleep in
Where my tears drown the sheets
And my bones weaken

Screaming at my scars to quit fading
Looking in the mirror
At this person I'm hating
Crying in the dark
While my heart's breaking

This war with myself can't be won
The plan was never to hurt anyone
Except me, my pain can't be undone

Save me from myself
I don't think I can fight
Save me from this war
Save me from tonight

Keep me from the dark
It's not where I want to belong
Save me from this war
Save me from who I've become

At this point I'm
beyond lost and confused
With a heart that's more than bruised
This tongue holding back its secrets
While I'm suicidal and
ignoring my weakness
But you still tell me I'm just a mess
Not depressed
IcySky Jun 2015
I'm worthless....
not a reason exists why I should be here...
but yet, here I am...
why?
-
I'm a nobody,
why do you love me?
why are you still here?
you hate me.
-
Life not worth living....
I'm not worth living...
I'm worthless...
So there...
-
I'll be gone....
away for good...
no longer taking your precious air...
I don't need it, where I'm going...
-
I'm worthless,
so there...
GoodBye,
and farewell.
Rockie May 2015
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, ok?
I'm sorry that I acted that way.
I acted irrationally,
Because I thought it was you I should've hated.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
It probably doesn't mean that much.
But I mean it with all of my stubborn, ******* heart.
Will you ever forgive me?
Please?
I'm so, so sorry. You probably won't ever understand why I acted that way. Neither can I.
After being whale vomited, did Jonah swear off eating fish?
Rockie Feb 2015
Am I invisible
Or simply not there?

Am I invisible
Or simply not seen?

Am I invisible
Or simply ignored?

Am I invisible
Or simply hated?

Am I invisible
Or simply
     not
             liked
                   at
                      all
I hated
What I thought
I became, but you lied

I loved
Who I thought
I could be and I tried

But I hated
Everything about you
That I couldn't be, then I cried

I loved
Who I thought
You were, but *
you died
Sometimes you die in people's eyes when they learn the truth of your lies.
I have nearly an ounce left,
and everyone's getting ready to pounce me.
They want to destroy it,
so I have to beg and plead.

My own friend grows higher on the scale,
turning me so very frail.
Then I become angry
when you boast about.

You expect me to live under your rule,
to live in stupidity
for the sake of you?
I refuse.

No, no, no.
That is not what I'm saying.
Friend, please listen,
before I shout.

I feel stupid myself,
when others brag about.
You are not stupid,
and never shall you be.

You hate me, don't you say?
It feels like you do,
when you lead me astray.
I shall not be ignored for a good score.

I'm not trying to ruin our friendship,
I just with you would listen.
People expect me one way,
and expect you another.

Please,
listen to me.
I'm not trying to make you feel inferior,
or myself superior.

What is this?
Another lie?
Everyday, people make me feel dumber.
It only makes me sadder and number.

I am not lying!
I am not trying to make you that way.
I'm just trying to keep you away.
Safe from the troubles of knowledge.

My friend,
you have no idea, do you?
Being smart means responsibility,
and being hated all day.

I don't care about that!
I just want to feel more for once.
How many times must I apologize
for getting a simple better than you?

Fine,
be that way.
I was only trying to help.
But you pushed me away.

Knowledge is the only thing
that gives me an ounce of dignity.
When I have none,
then not a drop is left.
*I am nothing.
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