I wish I knew where I was going
and why it was so hard
But you see for people like me darling the world is quite harsh.

7/10/14 // 1:50 am

I looked at his pictures and I didn't really feel as mad as I used to be looking at the first boy I ever loved be happy, I didn't really get jealous of her, I got jealous because he had the person that makes him happy next to him and I don't. That was my sad realization. I didn't get angry seeing him be happy, I got angry knowing I'm not. I've always felt that he was better than me, in every aspect of life. Ability to have long relationships, School, Morals, Life. And then I thought about you, and how you made me feel better about all that, you didn't make me feel like I was at war, you made me feel at peace for the first time in my 5 years of sacrificing my love and devotion to a boy who only runs to me when he has the time. You're not him, you'll never be him. But I'm so glad you're you and I'm so so so glad I have met and had the pleasure of caring so deeply about someone as magnificent as you. Even if you left me in the dark like everyone else. You made me feel like I mattered. I know more than anyone it's possible to love someone in only two weeks and sure when you said it, it freaked me out but now that you're gone, that's all I want to tell you. I think I'm falling in love with you too. But I know it's too late.


*vm

Shall I behold a glimmering stone heart?
You act as harsh as a white swan
But still I admire you as pure art
Longing for your cold eyes to gaze upon
Waiting for our bold stares to align
Your voice as pure as a string symphony
Gently speaking from your cruel tainted mind
Evading my hearts euphony for thee
You are beastly to overlook this love
I cannot bear to stand this misery
You would fit with me like a woolen glove
But I know you do not agree with me
We will never be an adoring pair
So my deep love we cannot ever share

the happier you are
the sadder you will get

Papers are flimsy, fragile
   so susceptible to time
      and harsher climates.

Scissors cut and divide
   thriving on irreparable separation
      to leave us in pieces and scattered.

Rocks are rough and tough
   facing--and looking--the worst
       while enduring every day and night to come.

My choice resides amongst the stones
   constant, long-lasting, dependable
      in the challenges that may have others call
      for support when they can't stand alone
   for maybe the times they lived were too much, too long
after facing the blades which cut them into small, segregated fragments.

They say gravity is a harsh mistress,
It's a force of nature that brings us to our knees, But yet we still appreciate it as if there was no life without it...

Much like many other things in life

I bit my lip before
The taste of the blood reminded me
Of when you made me hate myself for
The third time this week
Because you don't like my tattoo
But I've had this tattoo since we met
And I  tried to comb my hair in the opposite direction
Just to make you happy
But you're not happy
And my hair naturally goes in the other
Direction

You are a blind
man, holding a
blunt pencil.
Thinking he is
writing words
when in fact
all that is wrote is smudges on paper..