She just runs around all day.
At night she can't sleep.
I watch her as she stops to weep.
She's feeling overwhelmed but keeps to herself.
Bottling it all up on the top shelf.
So I just watch her unravel.
As she travels.
Through this grey, ugly life.
I wish that I could help with the strife.
But she just passes me by.

Something is wrong with me.
I'm blind, I can't see.
The blockades in my way.
I stumble but feel no pain.
My tears fall like pouring rain.
Where am I now?
Sweat drips down my brow.
My vision is forever grey.
I just can't live this way.

crooks and ******,
Draw the sky red,
Turn to crispy fred,
Say your not real I am instead,
Of the loses and the pain,
If you lose you'll win again,
Ripping flesh,
Can't deal with the strain,
And while I'm drained , hope that you'll maintain,
To be the main leader,
Of this sick and twisted mind game,
That we play constantly everyday,
Thanking for good food we receive,
Praying everyday to gain consciousness,
And while we think that will be answered,
We just sit and wait,
Only to know our lord will never hope to save,
I'm not a rebel against my lord and savior,
I'm just inspiring young kids with the talents that he gave.

I wish that I could explain,
What I feel when I look into the mirror,
I wish I could make you see,
How intensely it pulls my trigger,

I walk this path alone tonight,
There's disgrace,no friends are around,
I might have to jump this time,
If you're there, why don't you make a sound?

Do you know too? What it feels like,
When the ones you love drift away,
Do you know too? How much it hurts,
When no one smiles when they hear your name,

I am, from where the stars will shine on you,
But I can't touch them for now,
My skin is ugly and it's hateful,
You wouldn't want this oddity to grow,

With my baffled thoughts I return to my bed,
I don't want to do this, but I have to,
With another complex day ahead,
I close my eyes, hoping this would end soon

i act like i'm something special
when we all know nothing is
and the people sit there and they judge me
for the all stupid **** that i did

but I've woken up sweating in jail cells
sick from all the DTs and shakes
and i watched the woman i loved
leave a week before our wedding date

and i can remember the first time a pig
put his gun against my ******* head
said "make a move you ******* ******
and i swear to god that i'll shoot you dead"

i've seen more friends than i care to remember
passed out with needles in their veins
i've wept beside to many grave sides
to ever wanna go that way

i've shredded my throat since i was twelve
smoking a minimum two packs a day
and even at my very worst
i still can't bring myself to pray

i've lost far too much in this world
for someone whose not yet twenty five
all i can say at the end of the day is
"though i may fail at least i try"

so i sit back and let people judge me
cause they don't know the **** i've been through
and i'll keep saying i'm something special
even though we all know its not true