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JD May 15
You took my breath away with your smile
You stole my heart with your kisses
You made me appreciate the things in life I never know existed.
Some people bring out things that we never know existed.
You grew up hard in
The streets,
Using pills and powder
Just to make ends
Meet...

At the age of eighteen,
You felt a panic build inside,
On the day you said
You felt me come alive.

You were nervous as hell;
Just trying to get ahead,
Then dad ended up in jail;
Two people were dead...

Now I can understand
How you felt,
Because I put myself through
The same hell as well.  

You handed me
To your own mother,
While you cried,
Said you'd love me forever,
And you never lied!

By the time I was
A teenager, and things
Changed,
We built our own
Relationship;
We were both the same!

Trading stories,
Trading lives
We were getting high,
We'd always end it
With a hug, when we
Said goodbye.

Now we're getting older;
We've finally matured,
We both knew this
Kind of life
Could never endure.

Now we leave the broken past
In the dark;
We have a bowl of pho,
Cigarettes in the park,

But there's one thing
To say, that I know will
Never change,

It's simple.

I love you, mama...

And happy mother's day.
Note: This can be sung to the instrumental of 2pac's "Dear Mama."
She's always been a Pac fan.


A poem for my mother that I wrote yesterday. She laughed and cried, as did I. Though she may have been absent for most of my life, I will always love and respect my mother. We've both struggled, and we continue to do so day by day.  But one thing never changes. I love you,  ma. Stay true,  and stay you. Don't ever change.
You’re like a blinking light
That glimmers throughout the dead of the night
An unfamiliar sound that calls
Yet a soothing noise, like those of the great falls

I seek to wonder where you hide
Though countless men have tried before me
Many too; fallen a drift at sea
Maybe apart of living, is to live after you died

If you would have asked years ago
I would have joined you in any place
But now the world seems like an unfamiliar face
So, I continue on in the cold dusty snow

For if I was ever wrong to you
I hope you can understand
It takes much more than hope to raise a man
And I hope you find the strength to continue as we do

Someday, I may become you’re guiding light
One the glimmers through the dead of the night
Or an unfamiliar sound that calls
That’s as soothing as those of the Great Fall’s
Smoking myself crazy
In the wind hear your voice
If truly making you happy
I support your choice
I love her loving you
Embrace and sharp cold words
Fear not you moving on
But not moving forwards
For all we have been through
Turns and coils my distress
A mind ferocious and primal
Tamed by loneliness
All the thoughts go unsaid
Linger in air
If only each one could be gathered
Carried away somewhere
Written 2-26-21
Laura Apr 2023
in the hush of silence
in the calm of peace's release
they approach, dancing
their presence a gentle tease
last year, amidst the ebb and flow of time's sway
I erred and guessed in myriad ways astray
last year's tears
steadfast companions through the night
yet within their shimmer
I glimpsed a guiding light
not hatred but fear, you instilled within my core
teaching love's tangled dance
entwined forevermore
addicted to disappointments bitter taste
to the cycle of ascent and fall
not one to waste
you and I
a tale of what could never be
a symphony of longing
a silent plea
heavy the heart
in the weight of sorrow
I find my spirit free
I found this in my journal, from 2022
Jayda James May 6
This version of me, no more sad memories to follow
A heart that didn’t know how to love so bitter and hallow
This version of me more laughter and less pain
So many things that I endured will never feel the same
I’m letting go of all the bad things, they no longer have power
I spent hours and hours of being bitter and sour
Searching for love, searching through lust
So many broken promises, so many broken trusts
This version of me, I intend to keep the biggest smile
Im controller of my happiness
New editions tend to keep me at my best
To stay happy forever, you’ve brought me to my best
My best state I usually complain
Something about your soul just not the same
The only reason I’m not the same
The same, I could never be the same with you
I grow to be better once I obtained you
Filled with such peace, I never knew I could have peace
I hope you stay forever with me
, Please don’t ever hit release…
More inner peace and love
Dawn Apr 24
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦,
𝘐 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝘈 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦.

𝘈𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺,
𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯,
𝘔𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘴,
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘯.

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱,
𝘐 𝘢𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘴,
𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺.

𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘣𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘶,
𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵,
𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴,
𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴,
𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦,
𝘎𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘩
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘦.

𝘚𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦,
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺,
𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘥𝘺,
𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.
i watched her extinguish
one of the candles
with dainty fingertips
while i hastily blew
the other one out
with a puff of cheeks
trying to be helpful
but getting it wrong
seeing what i had done
she scalded me playfully
deep down meaning it
telling how a candle
should never be put out
in that way

for blowing it out risks
expelling the positivity
all of the happiness
that its burning
had built up for those
who first lit that wick
bathing in the glow
of its healing light
that flickering flame
that keeps our shadows
dancing together
arm in arm
even if we simply
remain wrapped up
sat side by side

i don't believe
her theory necessarily
but i am left wondering
of all the candles
i have ever blown out
birthday celebrations
cosy evenings in
candle-lit meals
if what she says is true
i can't help but think
about those moments
of happiness and joy
that i have wasted
simply blown away
with a vacant breath
and an unwitting mind
J J Apr 24
Sever the love that comes without obsession and never long for the inescapable consequences inbetween

My sunrise tied to a kite-string,
fate is something that i thought
only existed in hindsight

But when we first met i second-
guessed that, two figures walking
the city unaware we were ants

Compared to the buildings
that surrounded us. Such pretty
buildings i've passed so many times

and still as lost as one another.

So serene and young again
to talk and learn without thinking,
i don't mind returning to emptiness;

i held you and you held me...

Farewell until we meet again,
get home safe and when it gets late
sleep well and be kind to yourself.

Thank you for making this day a beautiful one and i can't wait for the next.
(what I used to be will pass away and then you'll see that all I want now is happiness for you and me-- Happiness by Elliott Smith)
As twilight's deep shadows were falling,
A spirit voice whispered in my ear
A message that I found most enthralling,
Which I'll now repeat for all to hear:

"Love is a treasure we must cherish
Above all else, lest it soon be lost
Among baubles and gemstones most garish,
And fool's gold that was not worth the cost

Unlike diamonds, Love does not glisten,
Yet what radiance beams from tear-filled eyes
As desolate hearts eagerly listen
To Love's gentle whisperings and sighs

Love is a divine commodity ---
Inexplicable is its power,
As baffling as an ancient mystery,
Bringing joy to each waking hour

Cling tightly to this treasure called Love ---
Unequaled is the bliss that it brings,
For its value is rated well above
All the gaudy wealth of queens and kings

If bejeweled fingers fill your glove,
Cast aside these trifling, worthless themes;
Set your sights on the riches forged from Love . . .
You'll know wealth beyond your wildest dreams"
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