I have this feeling thats gnawing at my stomach, i know it all too well.
But i have a goal to reach and if that means falling into bad habits, watch me leap from the top of the mountain.
If it means bruising and my head spinning out of control, watch my skin turn blue as i turn and turn and turn.
If it means that my mothers worried look will return and my friends will start distancing themselves, watch me walk this road alone and in pain.
Because pain means suffering and suffering means loneliness and loneliness means that i need to reach my goal alone.
I only hope that this time i'll be capabel of using a parachute on my way down and stop myself from dissolving when i hit the ground.
The ground is my goal and oh god i hope i make it.

Chain smoking in the car
Life’s hard
But I’m livin large
Just tryna make a means
I don’t know what all this means
So all I can do is try to live my life
In the best way, sometimes I know it ain’t right
Bad habits and good times
Just may be the death of me
But all I’m lookin for is the light
Because this world just doesn’t seem right

I know there has to be more
Than simply black and white

I hadn't yet grown into my body
or my mind,
but I never had the time
to worry about it.
I guess I can see it now
when I keep my eyes open,
and I remember it was such a hard habit to stop
sleeping with one eye open,
and I'm afraid of going back.
I know my mind is pretty enough
when I imagine a garden
and even though it might be dying,
I'll plant plastic flowers.
will anyone notice the difference?

#1

I’m no good at merrymaking
I do it alone
I do it dark
And I go at it with rabid excess
I am fellow to it
Until morning
And I make the morning hurt
A mark is embed


#2

Amoungst great company
I am dog unwanted
In the comapany of one
I am villain bird
I am influence
I hit a drinking partner in the weak knees of weak truths
And things go madly south
But tonite I am alone
As I ought
And not sought out


#3

Astray from the fireside
Into the woods
In the territory
Where I fear to thread the pathways
I shall recover my work
In the graven woodland
I shall face myself down
And bed darkness
Where I am truely wed


#4

Thriving and well hausted
I strain and clamp upon the energy
I face my enemy
My power
I bide from his readings
I make ****** pleasings
Form verbal greeting
And extend a hand
For this
The first of many a meeting


#5

Upon this connection
This Faustian reflection
I make the primal
The woe in me
And the red wash of ravenous pages
My activity
My moulded tool
My rage
My howl against creativity

I remember where it all began:
It was us, savouring our youth.
Building habits, creating memories
That I will always keep with me.

The taste of your lips,
Our long drives home,
It's the way that you made me feel
That I will surely miss.

I won't go back to the start,
Maybe twice of it were too much.
Neither were good nor bad,
But it was definitely all worth it.

Take time today to laugh and smile
And get the sunshine on your skin
Go out in nature for a while
And let the beauty soak within

To prosper is much more than wealth
Enjoy the pleasures of each day
Do what you can for vibrant health
Balance your life with rest and play

Give your body the best of foods
And move your body - walk and run
Train your mind in positive moods
After your work - allow some fun

Take care to get plenty of sleep
Early to bed and early to rise
These simple habits you can keep
And lift your wealth to greater highs

A mind attracted by the peaks
while the feet want to climb mountains
Divided and consumed
Lights and darkness

Voices that should have been shut
Doors that should have been closed
Demons that keep coming back
Same old habits

An ephemeral light in the night
Enough hope to carry on
Transforming loathe into love and laugh
Discovering that change is the greatest source of energy

So why does my eye only see
in front of me,
why can't I see the horizon so
lovely,
why must it always be this way,
Oh my muse I wish you would
leave me soon,
for my life cannot sustain under your marvelous presence,
you're always on my mind,
the reason for my educational
decline,
still I love you,
even if I must leave you,
even if this is a way to indulge you