Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
am May 28
My kindness is simply my atonement for my shame.

My goodness only exists to hide my selfishness.

You aren’t your thoughts, I know,

But why do I feel them inside of me?

Why are they crawling,

Dragging through my veins and leaving jagged marks?

Why are they nestling into the cracks of my bones?

I am not good,

But my love is real.

It may not be pure,

It may not be beautiful,

But if you’d let me,

I would rip my own heart from its strings to let you see it.

They would stretch until they were snapped stiff,

ringing out like the threads of a harp.

I’d bare myself to you in all that I am, and all that I am not.

And if knowledge is power,

If ignorance is bliss,

I’ll sink my fingers into my skull,

I’ll dig out my brain and fall to the floor,

I’ll offer it to you, and watch with lulled eyes as you hold it gently to your lips.

Yet I am terrified.

I am terrified that a little girl is watching me,

Silent,

Bearing witness to the monster in her skin.
Emery Feine May 27
i was born and on fire. my skin, open flesh words that bled onto anyone in a close vicinity. my face, a cloud of black dust. i knew that i had love in my heart to share with the world, but no one could see past the mold on my skin that would spread to them if they got too close. i was born into two things: a fruit that appeared ripe on the outside but leaked out a decayed, rotten mess, and the hands that opened said fruit with blood that held on. i watch the destruction i've made, that i didn't mean to make, but i believed that it was justified. i wait for someone to understand these words, not to pity me, but to find a part of themselves in me. i have found nobody. i fear that as of now, i am a walking, moldy model of decaying flesh and raw meat. i did not want to be this way. i did not want to be the black sheep. i did not want to be bad. i am a sculpture of wet clay that they could mold with their pure hands, and despite all that creativity in their alive and well minds, they have carved the word "rotten" in my flesh.

----- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- ----- .---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- .---- / ----- .---- .---- ----- .---- .---- ----- ----- / ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- ----- ----- .---- / ----- ----- .---- .---- .---- .---- .---- .----
7 a to h
Q May 25
“I'll find them"
I say as I come across another corpse
The blood leaking out of the open wounds inflicted upon them.
Turning their intellect into a poison
that eats them inside out.  
They're gone now (blanched from existence),
I look around
And see the bones on which
My “exceptionalism” stands.
Unnoticed by most
but I sense their ghosts in the spaces that should be filled.  
The same system that killed my kin,
demands I cannibalize them
to sell me as a relic - a reminder of what was
But I never forget - or forgive - a murderer.
(Part Two - Bones of Ghosts)
Ahlam May 23
Mom
only you
only your words
can be a dagger that's unseen
the one that cuts me deep
that strips the strength I've built over the years

so tell me mom
how can you demand what you don't give
how can you speak love and throw hate
what's in me that you so despise
what's in me that makes me a target-
to your words, your fist and your rage
you throw your junk at me and expect me to stay quiet?

even after all you do  
my lips are the ones who shape a sorry
then gets buried in my heart
but soon I will suffocate
and soon it will inundate
from the hurt that's been replaced by hope
the hope that someday you'd recognize that I'm already holding a lot
while trying to hold myself
hold you and the rest

sorry but I cant take it
I can't swallow fire and pretend it doesn't burn
I can't bring you joy and hide my sorrow
can't be enough, can't be the best, can't make you smile

know that every scratch you left
makes me question why I'm trying
why I'm going through these trials
while I can cheat my way out,
without a goodbye
why do we find ourselves expecting love from people that birthed us?
shouldn't it be the first thing that they give us?
why are we stuck with people that hurt us?
and why do we still love them?
why are we the ones to feel guilt? when it should be them
These dreams of yours they are holding on to purpose.  the lingering pain won't make you dream the same

You cracked your life again you're struggling for oxygen sorrows that were never borrowed there is no hope for tomorrow
When did children lose their love of learning?

When they were told to conform,
To forget their being,
To discard interests, agency, creativity

My own complicity
In the stifling of identity

Authenticity, a digression of the self,
A dissolution of swarming
Complexities

When did I gain my love of learning?

The burning crucible
Of curiosity

Set aflame by rejection of conformity

Constraints, curriculum, crushing expectations
and a world disintegrating
fires of digressions

When is conformity an expression of authenticity?

When is authenticity just another form of conformity?
Ma-kayla May 23
I didn’t mean
for it to end—
not like this,
not my best friend.

The anger came,
too fast, too loud.
Now I dig
and whisper proud.

We laughed that night,
like always did—
talked of dreams
and stupid kids.

But I held hurt
behind my grin—
a thousand cuts
he’d sliced within.

He didn’t know
how deep they went,
how words can bruise,
how time gets spent.

One glass too much,
a shove, a shout—
and all those ghosts
came pouring out.

I saw the fear
flash in his eyes,
too late to stop,
too late for "why’s."

"I’m sorry"
won’t bring him back.
But still,
I say it
to the cracks.

The ground is cold,
my hands are red.
And silence speaks
where he once said:

"You’re my brother,
through it all."
Now I just
recall the fall.

No court, no cell
can cage me in—
just memory,
and what has been.
Took a lot out of me to write this out of a friend's experience
kate May 14
Inside me are moths.
Obnoxiously flapping, they refuse to resist,
scraping my insides with froth.
Ignoring them, I ball up your collar in my fist.
As harsh as you are, I don’t refuse your kiss.
Goosebumps litter my skin.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”, I hiss.
I hate how I fall to my sin.
Entranced by your cursed gaze,
My stomach bursts at the seams.
Flashes of hazel throw me into a daze,
My heart palpitates in broken, unnatural beats that scream for release.
The moths do not release.
This isn’t right.
I wake up in a cold sweat filled with regret.
So He clears my sight.
I pray for satisfaction that I cannot forget.
And so the urge disappears,
Along with fleeting dreams of you and I.
My Dear Poet May 13
I am that memory
you try to leave behind
I am what you almost forget
I rewind my eye
and stare back
I am that blink you can’t bare
and regret
Next page