Bones pierce through my toughened but weary flesh
Barbwire nerves tighten them together like twine around a Thanksgiving swine
But this isn’t a celebration or a one-off spectacle
This is what breathing is like
This is living.

Warmth is welts, sweat and tears.
Forbidden sleep, I cry and beg for relief.
I find solace in a cold bath
And pray for cooler weather.
The cold is screaming bones, stiff and keeping me drowned in bed.
Forbidden to move, I cry and beg for mercy.
I find solace in fire
And pray for warmer weather.

In the calm waters that all swim in, I am battling a rip
I wave for help,
Someone?
Anyone?
They wave back, happily, as if saying hello.
Keep treading water
Just keep going and good God, I think he’s still there
Watching me fight the urge to stop and drown, submerge myself and let it be.
All this time, I’ve been trying to get out of a bed, the bath, or my chair.

I have spared loved ones agony, friends have left.
There isn’t any fun watching a carcass decay on the side of the road
Magnesium is there for me now
Codeine and I catch up around once a week
I have dates with my shower
And a blanket that embraces me.

Get up now, enough of that
Put some pants on, it’s time to see Them.
Brush your hair, fight your fingers to tie it up.
Defy the grinding of your bones and walk out that door.

They will ask how you do you feel
What has happened since last week

Did you make it out your front door
Out of bed
How does that make you feel?
Did you go out last Saturday?
Did the torrent of anxiety swell up again
Another face
Same question
My problems are common

People your age don’t do this.

The bone-pierced meat is ripped again
Pulling away from my spine
Becoming tragic wings few can see.

The last coat is the one all see and notice and judge the most
Skin shrink-wrapped around my barbed-wire nerves and meaty flesh
Where touch is soft and electric
And scars are chapters of stories
Mine are charred onto my bones and tattooed onto my skin
It looks like others with soft hair, freckles and spots
Yet it has encased me in a tomb
Being showcased in the museum of life
And as everyone passes by
No one knows what’s going on
But really, no one wants to know.
My mouth is moving yet I am silent
But really, I’m screaming.

Dragging bodies
Against the concrete ground
Is not nearly as much fun
Without you
To lick the blood
From your fingers
And smile
Your crooked grin

she ran
from non-existent footsteps
paranoia
kicking in
from a lack of meds.

a white
metal
locked
shack.
with the stench
of bodies.

a stuffy nose
at the worst time
promised her demise.

a peek
in the window
peaked
her curiosity.
with only a splash of red.

another window
left open
to air out the stench
led to
no-longer-****** bodies

and she screamed
but not for very long
because the knife
peirced her neck
and the scream
turned into silence.

I can give you everything,
I can take you anywhere,
Whatever you want it's yours,
Oh you'll be the queen of this deadbeat land.
I am your ever so loyal partner in crime.
You've bewitched me.

As a king,
I'll break anyone who comes close,
Their heads on sticks and guts for confetti,
Eyes as fried snacks, don't you appreciate me?

Say you love me, won't you?
All those who broke your heart,
Are being torn apart,
Don't look at me like that, lovely baby girl,
After all, God has brought us together,
And with divine intervention,
Comes a craving like no other.

As a king,
I don't want to but-
I'll bury you alive inside your own bedroom,
The family you knew and choose to bother to find you,
Will only see the end of an ax,
I worship you so don't worry about me,
Just listen to God- he's speaking- can't you hear?

I'm obsessed,
I'll confess,
I've wanted to see whats under your skin since the day you said hello,
I promise all I do is worth it,
The blood you've seen was requested by the Father, the Holy Spirit, and the Son.

As a king,
I'll break anyone who comes close,
Their heads on sticks and guts for confetti,
Eyes as fried snacks, don't you appreciate me?

The burn
of skin,
the smell concerns
your friends and family.
They know they’re next, but
they’ll try their best
to fight me off
but I'll bite off
chunks of their skin
to reveal their succulent blood
that lies within.
Let it pour over my tongue,
let the taste
erase
my thoughts
they melt away
with the bitter taste of ****** on my lips.
Cannibalistic.
My mind-
it’s twisted!
as your skin between my teeth.
The smell-
They claim it reeks but
its all I live for!
It's just a shame it's what they die for.
Not!

I wanna **** you
Slit your stupid throat
I would laugh at the dying sounds it makes
I detest you
Put my fist right through your skull
Feel the bones crushing in my hand,
As I shove my fingers into your brain

Because I hate you
More than I even hate myself
I detest you like a maggot in the grave
I wanna crush you,
Dissolve you in a vat of my shame

You left your taint behind you,
When you up and ran away,
Put your dagger in my back,
Left me in a shallow grave.
I can still taste you,
A flavour once so sweet
Has turned putrid in my mouth,
And I can't spit it out

So I'll rip your brain out through your eyes
Take a cudgel to your spine
Destroy and pulverize
Till there's nothing left but a stain,
On my memory.

i will live and die alone
the thought stabs me in the
chest

repeatedly

it punctures my jugular
and i bleed out on your carpet

i got too high again

There's skeletons in our closets,
Bones and skulls we never put to rest,
Creatures and people we massacred,
Won't tell anyone cause nobody cares like we do,
We don't fear anything but our own heads,
The things we've seen but forgotten,
Erode away the closet doors,
Guts come spilling way,
Revealing hidden passageways,
To something better that we've hid from ourselves,
Why we hid it just goes to show,
That we thrive under pressure,
Under our own filth and crimson,
In the little passageway,
The darkness was overwhelming,
To me but maybe not to you,
We stared at each other,
Doubting intentions and sudden emotions.

I was a gaslight ready to extinguish,
You were a creature of fire ready to burn up,
The only thing on my mind was a fateful night alone,
I couldn't tell what was on yours and needed to know more,
You lured me out of the shredded heads and limbs,
I was concerned with cleaning my closet,
My mother warned me over and over again,
You were concerned with everybody and not yourself,
We walked through no-mans-land for quite a while,
In between ourselves and everybody else,
We regretted the idea of emotions,
But I gave into a landslide of blood turned sand.

Where it started baffles me,
We hurt ourselves so much but work so well,
We broke into what life can really look like,
We're slowly healing and learning,
And that's the most important part.