I remember you,
And I know you remember me.
At least, I bet you do,
You were obsessed with me before.
When we were younger,
I thought you were quite the character.
I thought you were a nice person,
Little did I know what I was in for.
It started off small,
You would tell me how discontent you were.
I would try to cheer you up,
To no avail.
You would say that you hated yourself,
I would give you reasons that you were amazing.
We agreed to disagree.
I thought this would be temporary,
I thought it was a phase,
Yet, to my dismay,
It set the stage,
For the rest of the First through Seventh grades.
I would give you everything,
My heart and my ears,
For you just to complain,
About your pain,
Amidst the breaking of my heart.
I can’t remember what year it was,
When you showed me your scars.
When I saw what you would do to yourself,
It made me go numb.
Reality kicked in,
My mind started racing,
I was speechless,
I didn’t know what to say.
Your discontentment,
Turned into resentment,
For your life,
All you could tell me,
Every day,
Was how much you wanted to leave it all behind.
I would plead,
I would beg,
Give you reasons to hold on.
I made the mistake,
Of giving you my heart.
I would go home every night,
Afraid for your safety,
Stay up late and cry,
Wondering if you’d be back at school tomorrow.
Or if you had done what you said,
You’d do…
I started to wonder.
Was this life worth living,
If some people were so determined to throw it away?
Was it worth climbing the mountain,
And experiencing all the pain?
Is the view from the top worth the journey?
Is the hike worth the effort to walk?
I asked myself countless times,
And I came to the conclusion that I,
Think it is.
Seven years,
That’s how long I listened.
How long I let you pull me down,
With your depression.
I didn’t know how to help you,
But I just wanted you to be okay.
You said you cared about me too,
But I don’t think you did.
You began to rub off on me,
The colors had faded to a melancholic gray,
Apathy started to materialize,
And it hasn’t gone away.
You dug us both a hole,
And tried to bury us alive.
I let you have a hold on me,
The biggest mistake of my life.
One day in seventh grade,
You nearly got your wish,
I don’t know all the details,
Ignorance is bliss.
I was broken that night,
Wondering if I,
Could have done more,
Didn’t do enough,
Did I do what’s right?
Or was I hurting us both?
This wasn’t what I wanted when I met you,
All those years ago,
Being around you for seven years,
Was taking its toll.
I snapped,
I broke,
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I cried,
I prayed,
Like I had done those seven years before.
I thought,
I decided,
That it would be best.
If I,
Stepped back,
I couldn’t listen to any more discontentment.
Eight grade was hard,
I didn’t want to push you away,
But I couldn’t stand worrying,
Every single day.
I had to break the chains,
That tethered us together,
I felt like the bad guy,
But sometimes,
Even the villain of the story is justified.
It hurt my soul,
To let you go,
Because I cared,
About you.
You were my friend,
But in the end,
I don’t think it was reciprocated.
I think all I was to you was an ear,
To tell all your thoughts,
To someone willing to hear,
And while that’s fine,
I think you forgot,
That I have a life,
As well.
Ninth, high school began,
And you weren’t there,
Or at least I shut you out,
So I didn’t notice.
Ninth, was the greatest year of school,
In my life,
I felt joy,
I felt at peace,
But most of all,
I felt free.
I hope you’re doing well,
Better than you were.
However, I don’t think I want to talk with you again.
You hurt me,
You cut me deep,
I’m still repairing,
The damage you left me.
I opened my heart to you,
And you brought a hurricane,
You dug us both a hole,
And you left me to fend for myself.
I don’t know,
If I’ll ever escape,
But I’ll dig a tunnel,
And find my way.
There’s always a light,
And I believe I’ll find it,
And bask in its rays.
I wish you the best,
But I’m saying goodbye one last time.
If I’m to move on,
I have to leave you behind.
I’ll put you on a boat,
And push you off into the ocean,
And I’ll hope,
That you too find your way.
I’ll remember your name,
Etched in my brain.
I just had a few things left to say,
A few more thoughts rattling in my brain,
Even though it may have seemed impolite,
I had to give you a piece of my mind.
I remember how I used to wonder.
Was this life worth living,
If some people were so determined to throw it away?
Was it worth climbing the mountain,
And experiencing all the pain?
Is the view from the top worth the journey?
Is the hike worth the effort to walk?
I asked myself countless times,
And I still conclude,
That I,
Think it is.
Farewell,
My former friend.
This is a deep one. I don't really want to go into all of the backstory, and I think that the poem explains itself pretty well. I'm just glad to move on. This is my physical and metaphorical goodbye to this person.
