I want to see your smile everyday
keep that upward glance to me
you want to cry
the pain is too much,
what are the options?
one or two, that'll be with you
not understanding whats happening
where do I go from here
been lost for weeks
only words of others calm my raging thoughts
days pass without feeling your warmth
craving your hands
anywhere
everywhere
lips to hold my thoughts
caught on the fact that I need your kiss
bite my bottom pink lip
sing a song of heart and fear
reality is what I need to hear
do you want a me+you
or choose to let me grow
i'm trapped by your love
take off the ring
and let me hear you sing to me
edges of your mouth turned up
shakes and a shiver runs up my spine
every time you smile.

I've been told
To listen to my heart,
To refrain from logical comparison.
Because when you heart is concerned,
Emotions don't follow the rules.
That is their strengths,
That is their beauty,
That is the danger.

But this heart doesn't know what to feel,
And when it asks the mind,
The mind only tells the heart
Why either of them can't decide.
Buy when the heart can't decide,
It asks the mind,
Lest it hurt,
Till it give up.

It hurts & burns sooo much ; honestly can't take it anymore .
I'm all alone with no one to look upon no one to count on or shoulder to cry on ; everything hurts as my knees hit the ground & my head falls back & these tears flow down my face to my neck .
I scream & shout as the voices get louder so do I ; but it's the last straw holding his head as he rest on the door knocking it hard .
Have you ever seen a child cry so much , have you ever heard a scream so loud ? Begging for help ...
Cries himself to sleep each night fakes smiles each day , deep thoughts everyday & it finally took him away;
He never woke back up as he was killed by his own thoughts  & child's play but what can you say to someone who goes through a bigger & harder situation everyday
"Everything will be okay one day " nah it just gets harder & sooner or later it'll **** you & you'll just fade away ...... like he did on this day

                         ~Chilled

people keep telling
me to give up
because that's
where I am
surely headed
they
didn't know
that I don't
need
them to
tell me that
because I
already did
long before the first
syllable leave
their mouth.

when you finally
hit rock bottom
you won't see me
when you look up
one more chance
one more hope
another play as your savior

you won't see me
because i was the only one
who tried to prevent
your fall

You berate me
For things I haven't done yet
Telling me
That failure is inevitable
Yet you wonder
Why I am afraid to try

this is me giving up
this is me surrendering
this is me saying i was never your worth
this is me finally leaving
to give you what you want
this is me in defeat
this is me saying that you were right all along
that i was the **** of the earth
and i had you always looking for so much more

because there was no one else
and i can't even help myself