do you want to play chess?
I would, but it's 11 pm
The connection is bad
ok
i like it when you win
i don't let you win, i don't try my hardest but
even if i did, you'd win
Ok
I like it when you win

When it stopped and I saw the target, a handsome 16 year old, part of me wanted to jump up and run. This party wasn’t with my usual friends - except my BFF Kim was there. These kids were 15 and maybe 16. I had just turned 14. We had been invited by an older girl-friend.

I couldn’t have been more nervous - the party had turned just short of terrifying - but there’s no way on God’s earth that I could chicken out. John and I shuffled towards each other on our knees.

He’s taller and as we drew together he bent toward me and I looked up - our lips touched, I felt his warm breath - WOW, his lips were soft.. I had to force myself not to pull back - my heart was pounding with the fear of embarrassment - what if he stopped - like, YUCK, and declared the whole idea an impossibly silly joke??

He didn’t - after a second I felt his strong left hand gently on the back of my head and he slightly rotated my head to the right and - OH, YEAH - we were able to draw deeper into the kiss (I’d seen that in MOVES - now I understood). His lips were so smooth, slightly slippery and warm - I was breathing WAY deeper then and felt a twining in interesting places.

His right hand pressed my lower back and he fetched me closer and, boy, we REALLY fit - I felt my ******* pressed to his chest - I wasn't sure what to do with my hands - they were sort of out to the side. His tongue fleetingly touched my lips and the tickle was electric.

My lips parted a little - he drew me even closer - his tongue playfully connected with mine and I seemed to short circuit - I drew in breath sharply, through my nose - which sounded enormously loud to me. WOAH, this was getting intense, I put my palms to his shoulders - should I push away??

“Time!,” the girl timing the kiss called.

We stopped actively kissing and he started easing off the pressure holding us together - I leaned back on his hands a bit as I searched for balance. Our kiss-seal broke and I gasped a little, which fortunately, sounded like a laugh and everyone laughed as we pulled apart. I glanced at his face and he was smiling warmly - I blushed explosively and looked down.

I put my right hand on my skirt as I scooched back in place and someone placed the bottle back on the center of the circle.

I was still looking down because I could tell my face was beet-red but my eyes found Kim, I smiled and give her a telepathic holy-COW. My first REAL kiss.

I left the circle before someone could spin me. There's no way that I was going to do that again.

I may have faltered a zillionth times
my hurting and your peals of laughter,
weirdly they rhyme
but I will never admit defeat,
not to your depravity
and you call yourself
the king of undefeated rounds,
but honey, you're crowned with that title
but you're not as good as it sounds
remember when all my ounce of courage
finally coalesces?
knock out, worn out, hit you with a pound
guess what?
I finally won, let the world know,
LET IT OUT

I’m still a child
playing a game
of musical chairs.

I’m just trying to
find a seat with
everyone else.

I’m still going
around and around
and around again,
searching for my
chance to fit in.

but every time
that I think
I’ve finally
found it,

as soon as
I go to sit down,

life pulls the chair
out from under me.

You are never
clear with me
about
What it is you want.
I always have to guess.
Is this just a game to you?
Is my heart a play thing;
somewhere for you to make a mess?
Or
maybe it's a dream
meaning
It's all made up
And I should wake up.

I want to
Give you
All
Of me.
But I gotta know
You want me
I
Gotta know you
Need me
Know that
You can complete me.

I'm ready to become
Whole again

tired of


Splitting


Up
;

tired of

trying

  To

   Piece

    Back

Bits of my soul,
Fragments
S h a t t e r e d by senselessness.

blacked in sin.

I need my peace back.
I don't like to ask
But
I hate to guess
I'm wondering -
Can you be that?

~My heart belongs to you~
My heart belongs to you
Sorry not you
But My controller.

I sit down playing my game for hours, and hours, and hours.
With my red eyes, I keep playing prolonged.
My fingers are tired, my head is tired and my eyes are tired.
But I never stop.
I stop until I’ve reached my goal…., until I reach my desires.
I guess you can say that I am the type to keep going until I reach my goals in life.
And that’s a good thing.
And When I am done, I fall completely asleep with my arms holding on to my precious controller, all happy.

~Amy <3