I wrote a poem and itsssss goneeeee vanisheddddddd... Goddddd now I forgot what I wrote :(
Why???? Why me?????

I am tired, I am worn
I just realized how love could easily be dispensed for another
I loved you with every molecule of my being
I’d like to move on with you
But I guess, you want to move on with someone else
Am I too pure, too innocent for you?
Am I taking this too seriously, it scares you?
You said, I’m a "rarity", but you expect me to woo you like the previous person that devastated you?
I’d like you to think this out really carefully
Because I'm tired of the mix signals you're giving off
Because I'm tired from laying low
I’m thinking of letting you go, for real this time
I tried my best to make you aware my love
I’m sorry if it wasn’t enough
A sputtering star trying to draw your attention, shimmering haplessly
Perhaps, I’m just a speck of dust in your vast cosmos—surrounded with stars more alluring
I tried to see you as a friend, but I just can’t see things the way they were
I can’t simply revert back to my former self, and pretend nothing happened, because something did
You taught me that just because we had so much in common, even if we shared the same views, the same quirks, and once, the same longing for each other
You can still be cruel enough to leave a laceration at someone’s heart that throbs for you
You can still clog someone's lungs with tar and nails who’s very purpose is to breathe for you
Please do not have the audacity to think that my arms are always unfurled for you, because I will still love you, but no longer as a lover, but as a compassionate deserter
My heart still burns for you, but I have to look away with just enough coldness to keep my sanity
Should I take this as a trial or a memorial?
Think carefully, my soulmate
Think, very carefully, my love

There are times when I wished that I never opened my mouth.
I'm so tired of people getting aggravated with me for talking.
When I'm told that I should be able to say whatever I like.
Sometimes I feel like I can't win, like I can never ever win.
And I hate feeling like this every time I open my mouth and speak.
I wish I would stop feeling this way, but the thing is, I can't.
Hopefully one day I'll get over it, I really hope I do.
Because I hate always feeling that way when I say something.

Walking down the hallway,
Its my first day,
I feel alienated,
As well as irritated,
I keep moving every year,
Sometimes here, sometimes there.

New friends, new house,
New appearance, new blouse,
New crush, new admirers,
New enemies, new fighters.

But this particular day i can never forget,
For i set my eyes on a particular someone i just met,
As he locked his eyes on me,
I blushed in response looking away ready to flea.

I attempt to get up and walk but my limbs are in stasis
I command this body lying on the ground to do my bidding, its no good
Eventually I tire myself and get frustrated so I choose to forget how to move
I'm happy now but only for a brief moment

My delusion of being contempt fades, I feel defeated
I observe others and how they move without any struggle
I envy them
No I hate them

After countless days had passed I had given up not only hope but emotions overall
I admit defeat and go numb
No more struggles
No more despair
No more hope

One day a man walks up to me, grabs my wrist, and heaves me up
I dangle from this mans grasp, I'm amazed
My feet slowly touch the ground
My arms stretch out and I remember how to move

This unbearable weight has been removed, I am in awe
This unconceivable frustration is no longer present
I am indebted to this man however without saying a word he disappears

Time passes I forget what it was like to be immobilized
My memory of the man who picked me up fades
And one day I choose to lay down and forget how to move again

I have so much to give.
So much to offer.
And no where to put it
It's this constant feeling
Like I know what I am, what I want, what I need
and there's nothing to do with it right now.
I'm waiting to stumble upon someone with the same needs and wants
and massive soul with too much to give.
I'm waiting on someone to wake up and live life as much as I do;
to just have this huge energy that wants to play and mingle with my massive soul and huge energy.
Do you reach a time where people suddenly love life?
Do people start to feel more alive
or do they stay mostly dead
I don't want to feel dead.
My vulnerable open loud insides need people with the same guts.
I need people who feel familiar;
people who love loudly and often.