I often wish you met me first.

If only we met before
they gave you promises of desire
they were never sure they'd keep,
before they used you
to fill their boredom in between.
I wish there was a way you'd
let yourself love me,
or try to.

I want to give you
anything and everything
you could ask for.
But you only strip off the parts
that you feel can't hurt you.
I can only guess that
the part of you that wants me too
is the same part that doesn't want to
lose yourself in someone else like them.

I just wish you met me first.

the eyes.
it's always the eyes that get me.
and i stopped seeing yours --
looking into those pools of blue...
trying to figure you out,
even though i already knew.
you've moved away,
though i suppose i've moved too.
i just didn't quite realize
how much of my muse
was you.

I drown in sadness
I don't let go
It's my curse
The curse of strings
Tied so tightly they choke me
I can't break the bonds
No matter how I try
I am caught in a web
Of memories
Of hope
Of dreams
Of the past
Cut short
By me
I am a knife
A knife that can't cut myself loose
Only scare away
I threaten, I menace
Yet I remain bonded

I suppose even the sharpest blades have their limits

Buy me a bottle of whatever you're drinking
cause I'm trying to bury myself in the grave next to your hollow bones

Pace through the traffic back and forth
Maybe I'm blindfolded or just plain blind

Buy me another bottle of whatever you're drinking
cause I'm tired of pretending I'm at war when all I want is peace

I'm staring at the stars, I followed your eyes there
Now I find myself praying you might shift your gaze
Maybe glance at me when I'm not looking

I'll take another round of whatever you're drinking
cause I'm hoping your skeletons are as dark as they look

Lately it's been too bright to sleep
I can see carpe noctem etched in your fingertips
Like a print: your identity

I'll have another glass of whatever you're drinking
cause I can't think of another way to get close to you

For I'm already buried by your hollow bones

I'll take one last shot of whatever we've been drinking
cause it has to be better than drinking the same old **** alone

Am I boiling beneath your skin yet
You waged war
When all I wanted was peace
Let's explode
Paint all over our bodies like canvases
I promised to paint you
And you promised me pianos and voices
Loudly roaring and softly muttering
I'm tired of all these promises to never lie
Never hurt me
You can't guarantee your future
Sure as hell not mine
So now that your skin
Bleeds purple and green
From my brush and needle
Are you ready
To believe me
Don't forget to breathe when I boil you through
For it was all you
You waged war

You know what?
Two days ago?
That last picture of me?
That's all you're getting.
I'm setting myself free.

I never asked you to be the exception to all my rules
But it's happened and I don't know how to take it back

So I'm asking you to come find me tonight
I'll be the one waiting under the bright lights
The girl singing off key, hoping you'll find it in you

          To just maybe love me
          Is there any chance you could love me

I never asked you to come along and charm me that first day
Talking in charades with those striking blue eyes

So I'm hoping that perhaps you'll think of me tonight
I'll be the dancer waltzing through your dreams
Praying you just might take a second glance at me

          To just maybe love me
          Is there any chance you could love me

I never asked you to make me fall in love with you
There isn't any grand thing about you that draws me in

It's your little idiosyncrasies that are my addictions
I know I'm bad luck and poor company
And I'm unfortunately terrified of my infatuation

          Oh, but I do love you
          Is there any chance you could love me