i sit here, waiting
waiting for the right words
to come to mind.
what could i even say?
you’re gone.
not the dead kind of gone of course,
the gone that makes me never contact you
the kind of gone that
makes it hard to look in your direction
i never truly expected you to be out of my life
well, not like this at least.
you were the one person i trusted
with my whole heart too, you basically had it in your hands.
now that it’s over however; i see
every red flag that was hidden from my eyes
i was blinded, but this time not by love
this time is so very different.
you were my friend, the one i trusted
the most.
now, every memory is fading away slowly.
i doubt you think of me
but i will always remember you.

I would rather be your friend, I think
Than nothing at all
but perhaps ceasing to exist
to one another is better

I would love to say our friendship is inherent. To say that our hearts beat to
the same pulse, that we have the blood inside us in common, and that our
words blend into each other perfectly seems like the right thing to say.
However, I would be lying. I have to fight and beg my emotions to reveal
themselves to you.
Trying to write about us feels like drawing water from a frozen well.
Miscommunications happen often and it's difficult to tell what you're
thinking.
But still, we are us anyways.
The water in the lake we grew up around knows our lives well. If its pebbles
and sand could speak, they would recite our every word back to us better
than we could.
The moon knows how much I care about you because I tell her often. She
shines brightly at our stories.
Even when I don't understand you, my mind pleads to.
My hands write the words I can't tell you, and the world of poetry knows
how desperate I am for you to know these things.  
My art glows with my expressions of you. It tells visual stories I have never
spoken.
We are not inherent. I have never been able to tell you exactly how much I
care about you. I am terrified of confrontation and disagreements, so I don't
always say exactly what I think.
But I'll always try my hardest to show how I feel. You may never read these
words, but I hope you somehow feel them anyways.

We are apart, the frayed red string is broken
One soul now scattered, across two galaxies
The ocean of my heart , with a tsunami can't reach yours
Ego refused to sail the boundary, leaving us with cold memories.

Tinted sky sets with warm sun,
I sit in peace, miss my shoulder with your head
Flowers of Magnolia are, scattered on the field
Your tresses in the air, the beauty you won.

Who will now embellish you?
My fingers , your hair , is now a wide divide.
My smile, your talk, is now faded apart.
My hug , your warm, is now gone from my life.

Is this what you've decided?

It used to be your pleasure I soaked up with the tissues
Now they can't seem to get enough of my tears
Sometimes I let them be when I lay down to sleep
They roll down my face as if in a race and I'll bet on which one first reaches my ears
It's the only thing I haven't been wrong about in years

I wanted to tell you about him
After all, what are best friends for if not the confessions of sins
But that´s how you made me feel
As if he was the devil and if I put my hands on his body then it´d be just so I could rebel
Out of spite, you said he was fine for a night
A benefit for bodies with no feelings in sight

But I did not want a night
I longed for a chance at forever
The slightest hope at something that will not pass like the weather

I wanted to tell you about him
But there was something about the secrecy
His smile against my mouth and his hands on every part of me
That made me want to shut a door
Cause that would mean I have the key
And I did not want you to have a spare
At least not in the beginning
Because what if it turns out it´s not love after all
And all the door is good for is to hide my sinning

If I take one hand, and place it in yours, are we sharing hands or are we sharing a moment?
~~~~
It seems that so many times, one person may not see enough of the other to truly respect and understand the intentions and thoughts of each other.

We may be frightened and lose sight of the goals and opportunities we are presented.

I look forward to the future, don’t dwell on the past, and cherish the present.
And it is all already with you.

So frequently one may be clouded and not see the beautiful things and beautiful people around themselves.
So frequently we convince ourselves of worry and angst and
so frequently we blind ourselves of any escape we may have.