I wish apologies were rewinds
that could go back to that place in time.
& make everything alright.

To go back to that kiss,
In your arms,
And feel blanketed in your warmth...

But instead I think back to that point in time,
Where unfortunately there is no rewind.
Forgiveness is in my heart,
But it also remembers to tread lightly.
It makes me think.

Think about you.
Think about me.
Think about the way things used to be.

I wish apologies could take it all back,
but in reality there are no rewinds.
Thankfully,
Things continuously move forward.
Even with trepedity.

Tall glass towers; on mountains of golden lakes.
An island of ten million dreams; blinded by the lights
of life. Heaven is a time like no other, as nothing has
an end. But all of it's residents have met their end.

Phased by the breath of tens of labours; the works of my
hands. I built glass memories, so fragile of remembering a
tragic past. All that is wasted; wasting away in thoughts.
****** as my hairs in the morning. Some on my neck, of
having their rest on my pillowcases.

A heavy throat, and it's husky voice. Mmh mmh; clearing it
to speak into a day. This morning is a timeless piece of whisky;
strong as the first swallow of belief.

Do I...

believe of any goodness ahead of me for today? A chance of better wealth to add some weight to a wallet? Meeting my potential love; as they're waiting out there?

But when, and how far are all of these things?

Who are the fools to know; all of the wisdom of ancestors
of where they should go? My forefathers have been at this place before. I do suppose; that I am progresses living words.

Onwards, forward, towards, heading, advances, going to
the places of what progress asks of me to go.

i don’t know how to get ahold of you.
when you zone out and i see you’re not okay.
i wish that i can help you when your mind goes blank.
seems like your mind been racing a lot these days.

other days, i don’t know how to get ahold of you.
when i say “i love you”, but you don’t believe me.
feels like it causes you to double-think twice about me.
past life is in your current life, making you run from me.

tonight- i think we need to be more patient
tonight- i just want to be in your presence
tonight- coming to a realization
love can’t be this dangerous
this love can’t be this dangerous

this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand and
this not good for you
this is not good for you
i can’t take your heart for granted
hope you understand where i stand on this

What is left for me to write
That hasn’t already crossed the page?
My heart aches for something new
Something real to embrace
To put into place
The stale waste that has captured my heart.

Time trailing away,
Waiting for things to change.
I want to adventure,
To explore,
To be brave and face all the things
I tell myself are for people with less fear than me.

Stuck in a half panic,
I am exhausted all the time
From a fear of everything.
But I want to feel something different
Excitement, hope, achievement
Change.
I need to feel something change.

I know the time is coming,
I know I need to wait
Just a little longer.
I need to hold steady,
Keep the fear at bay,
And when things change

Take the leap of faith,
Experience the world I want to see,
Be the person I needed,
Do the right things,
But mostly
I want to live.

Then, maybe,
I’ll have something new
To grace the page
I’m ready
To find something new to say.

I want something unwritten.

rock bottom mind dreams
heaven grows up difficult
footsteps move forward

i came back to the dance
of a pen
on a paper
of fingers on keys
of a mind
in a moment

at first i stumbled
it had been so long
and then i started to dance again
and out came all the feelings and the moments and the memories that i won't talk about
and out came everything that won't ever come out of my mouth

i came back to the dance
so i don't have to come back to the same crippling feelings anymore

i came back

so i can move on

I love that they can’t give me love
Because a lot of people don’t like to open up
I’m an open book
An easy place to unload an empty clip;
I get it now
We need stronger families and
Tighter grips
It’s easy to lose your mind in it.

We did away with the huts and
Created rooms
To segregate where the flowers bloom;
I want to see your hardships
On your ***** blacksmith apron,
I don’t find that “embarrassing”
I find that transcending
We’ve done it forever on our rocky shores.