Wine of forgiveness
Needs some time to sit and breathe
Before you drink it!

On the floorboards
In the kitchen
One evening in the fall
Is where it all began to go wrong

As I stood there washing dishes
Beside me, he droned on
Each word, he nailed into me
Punctured deep into my skin
So forever and always
They would be lodged within

Water kept on flowing
From the facet
Drip, drip, drip
It wasn't until later
That the tears began to slip

A stranger came by after
Say hello, I did not do
And with that decision
More words were told anew

This time it was the father
Nailing words into my skin
Disrespectful, ungrateful
Might be packing up real soon

And so came the nights
Restless, tossing, turning
Scrolling through
Nearby homeless shelters
In case I got the boot

And even as the days passed by
And the days turned into months
I could never repair
The broken shards of my trust

So, even though I still live here
It will never be my home
When I still have to do dishes
In the room
Where it all began to go wrong

Looking back,
As I so often do,
I have two words to say,
Thank you.

I have loved you
For all the time I’ve known you.
Even after distance fell between us,
Even after the words in anger were exchanged,
Even after you’ve forgotten me.
I remember,

And I love you.

Even now,
Even though we never speak,
Never laugh together,
Never take the time to check in.
Even now you are half a world away
Living your dreams in all their glory.

I still care,
I still wish you the best,
I still hope you find your peace,
Your happiness,
That your world is beautiful
Because you deserve that.

I hope you never feel alone.
I wish you all the love
And kindness
And friendship you can find.
I hope they bring you joy
And peace of mind.

And if the world ever does get dark,
Or you feel lost
I always have my phone,
My door is open,
And my heart ready
To welcome you home.

I promise, you are never truly alone.

Forgiveness;
So much hangs on the weight of those three syllables.
Without it,
Your life can turn upside down,
Seemingly in a moment,
And be irrevocably changed forever.

Feeling betrayed,
The wound festers
And smoulders,
Without even noticing
Hurt and pain magnifies,
Lashing out,
Attacking,
Sticking the knife in,
For seemingly no reason,
Hurting the one who means most to you.
Portcullises lowered,
Drawbridges raised,
Fortresses built,
Till you’re both encamped on different continents,
Shooting arrows at each other,
And yourself,
Till the relationship is well and truly
Dead.

No. Communication,
Openness,
And most of all,
Forgiveness,
is a better route,
Prescient,
Kinder,
Ultimately more rewarding,
For both of you.
The rightful path is not smooth and easy,
Lessons painfully learned,
But a wiser soul be you.

I wonder if you're cold.
You're beautiful.
I bet you're beautiful in the spring.
And even prettier in the summer.
In the winter your cold.
And now, you're beautiful.
I wonder if anything is crawling on you.
If you're taking a breath in or out right this moment.
I wonder if the sun makes you smile.
If the cold kills you-
I hope you're not dead.
Because you're so beautiful.
Sitting from so far away.
I see you.
You curve oddly.
The clouds were just swept for you.
Are you waving at me?
I saw something.
Are you thirsty?
Is it too cold for you?
I'm sorry, i didn't bring anything.
I'm sorry…
“I'm sorry.”
“But it was all me, don't be sorry”...
-

“It's okay now.”
“It's never okay.”
“To me, it's okay now.”
“It's not okay…”
“It is to me.”
-
What would it do in this situation?
What temperature would it feel?
The Summer?
The Winter?
The Spring?
The Fall?
-

(“The Fall.”)
-

I can't warm up to him.
But I'm going to, I'm going to fail.
I'm going to “Fall”.
-

What would you do?
Sway?
What would you grab onto.
The dirt?
-

If you fell right now i wouldn't hear you.
Couldn't.
I can’t.
She's in the way.
This window is in the way.
The air.
The fence.
-

I can’t-
-help it.
-

I'm going to hug you.
Be there.
I'm going to hug you.
You're stuck in the ground.
-

You're beautiful.

-

You're going to make me die.
That was a mistake.
Written in pen.
You're going to make me cry.
I'm ready for it.
I'm waiting for it.
I'm waiting for you to feel like it's right.
Not set in stone.
I'm letting you make the decision.
The first move.
Because I made the first move last time.
Not this time.
Not again.
Not ever.
Be ready.
Please be ready.
For yourself.
For me.
The one outside.
The one in the car.
-

“Negative Attention.”
-


She’s a horrible woman.
She's beautiful.
Not like the other tho.
She is wrong.
One of God brought by Satin.
-

I'm sorry ***.
Show me you're ready.
I love you.
-

You're beautiful.

Glory's who you are.
It's not what I'll achieve.
To be close to you, not far.
Will I ever find you finally?
Though you know what it is to be.
I'll only have one destiny.
Will I keep on walkin blindy,
till time takes hold of me?

Fear lives in my heart.
For my mind sees a coming dread.
My soul still prays to you
through the thoughts of my crowded head.
Please forgive all the bad I've done,
and the things I said.