I’m afraid—
afraid of the new,
afraid of being alone.

I think that when I move
into the new house,
the emptiness will settle in
so deeply
I might break.

I just hope
this weight on my chest
isn’t here to stay.

Sometimes I stop and think—
my God, what am I doing?

I tore away all the structures beneath me
and chose to walk on sand—
or on water.

Why?
Why?
Why put myself
in this place of despair,
this ache of uncertainty?

I could have stayed
right where I was
and everything
would have kept flowing.

Wouldn’t it?

What if I’m not good enough for it?
What if that path isn’t mine?
What if
what
if
w
h
a
t
i
f

I don’t know.

They say if you never try,
you’ll never know.

Ah, but I’m scared.
Then go scared.

(eye roll)

Life is one big piece of s.h.i.t.

I was wronged yet once more
So my faith is getting sore
I pray to believe there is still time
But there is no god on the sky of mine

My mum braids my hair like she used to do
The storm in my mind is about to break through
There's so little time, yet so much to gain
I would do anything to undo the pain

The years flew by like a shooting star
And through the life I've got so far
Now I feel broken, filthy and used
A lonely child the world has cursed

You tell me now it was all my fault
For not shouting out when being assault
You swore to help me yet now you detain
I'm begging you to undo my pain

Now I lay broken, gaze fixed on ceiling
Trying to drown out the failure of feeling
I am not heartless, I get hurt again
Much more to loose than there is to gain

I'm mad at you for leaving me here
I begged you to save me from drowning in fear
The voices inside me drive me insane
I only wanted to undo my pain

Sometimes
you have to go—
take that step,
despite the fear,
despite the uncertainty,
and discover
that in the end,
we always survive
to tell the story.

I hate you
Don’t be alarmed
They’re strong words
But what I feel inside me
is unbearable
The truth is, I’m afraid
Afraid to say goodbye
and end up in the arms of another
who might hurt me
Not you—you’re good
But still
you’re hurting me
My heart races
because it knows what it wants
Freedom
Yet I keep it
caged