without
her noticing
her favorite songs
always
remind her
of the person
she once
loved

You said I was perfect
And you meant every word of it
Like a design-your-own character, I fit your every preference
My blue eyes, my bowed lips, my eyelashes
My rib cage, small enough for you to hold
You told me you loved my every curve
How my skin was just pale enough to complement yours
My height, my legs, my voice your favorite in the world
My brownish blond hair that you loved to twirl

I suppose for me, you weren't far off
Six feet tall, lean, but strong
A laugh that made me sad when I didn't hear it for too long
Dark brown curls that turned red with the season
You grew your hair out for me, but I'll never get to see it
You said I was your dream
But you weren't mine
Because the one that I dream of
Will never say goodbye

remember the day you told me
about your favorite song
i listened to it
over, and over again

remember the day you asked me what's mine
so that you can listen to it
i just shrugged
and motioned you to talk more

as your mouth goes dry
as you told me things,
shared me stories,
laugh at almost anything,

you saw how i listen to you,
like how you listen to your favourite song

how i give you attention like you do,
whenever you're singing your favourite line

how my eyes shine like yours
whenever you feel the lyrics resonating within you

how i smile like you smile,
whenever you finish the song

you're my favourite song.

I see you everywhere but beside me,
the one place that I need you the most.
I don’t know if you’ve just felt like hiding,
but it feels like I’m being stalked by a ghost.
I think of my life consisting of just time biding,
with parasitic emptiness and I’m the host.
This hits me like waves I am meant to be riding,
and it follows me persistently from coast to coast.

The grass didn’t seem so green back then
I guess all that constant rain did pay off,
‘cause now this little future’s just a casual friend,
and my god looking back the past was soft.
It’s not like I always want to be drenched in sorrow,
I find I look much better in brown, blue or grey,
you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.

I hear every voice but yours in my ears,
the deafening noise has made me forget that sound,
since I’ve heard that sweet melody it’s been too many years,
and every other pitch makes my static brain pound.
I’m always biting my lip but now I’m fighting tears,
I shake my head side to side and around.
I’m quickly losing stamina from battling my fears
and now looking forward to my hole in the ground.

The skies never seemed clear and blue back then,
it turns out that I was the creator of each cloud,
I’m hoarding past calendars so that I can pretend
that I’m back in time and making everyone else proud.
If you’ve got a hour or two that I can borrow,
I swear I’m good for it and whatever price; I’ll pay,
‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.

I feel you all over, laced in everything,
if it wasn’t such a curse, it’d be a gift.
You’re the peace in winter and the hope in spring,
you’re the summer sun and autumn’s winds so swift.
I’m relieving every memory, looking for a place to cling,
I remember all of the details but the clarity is now adrift.
Side to side, back and forth, I constantly swing,
it pulls and drags me down but it can also give the highest lift.

The sun never seemed to shine right back then,
but maybe I was just too busy looking for artificial light.
I was never one for second looks but I should’ve searched again,
because everything I wanted was already in my sight.
So I plant a seed hoping it will eventually grow
and I sculpt all I wish for with clay,
‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.