For our love is a tragedy.
Left me clinging unto memories
Drenched in the ideality
Of my self proclaimed idiocy

For I've only followed what I've believe was true
Set me wandering across the blue
Hard for me to believe what we shared was a lie
Made me never wanna believe again.
For those days we've thought was well spent
Didn't made much bearing in the end

We could have baked the best brownies in town,
ones' filled with warm gooey love,
or cooked the best cake around,
so that people would think it came from above.
We planned on making a flavourful omelette,
which would satisfy us for years,
with colored foods of green, red or even violet,
anything except our tears.
Our plans built up like they often do,
holding us down like a chain on our legs,
eventually our plans fell through,
I guess we waiting to long and became bad eggs.

I grew up watching romance anime,
I loved them even though most were cliché,
Shy girl meets popular guy,
Two people love each other but they're too shy,
I remember waiting all week to see if she gives him her homemade chocolates on Valentines Day,
Squeling when they finally say,
I love you
Then they kiss under the fireworks later,
They barely show anything beyond that but I assume it's happily ever after

Every single time, they have their first encounter under the cherry blossom tree,
I remember thinking hey, why can't that happen to me?
But there are no cherry blossoms here you see,
The boy you fall in love with at the first day of school,
Will not be yours by the last episode,
That the guy you always see at your bus stop,
Will not always save you a seat,
That when he holds out his hand,
No, it is not always your hands, he is reaching for
That the sparks you feel when your lips touch,
Are not always fireworks
But maybe just electricity; waiting to shock you

I've learned that "I love you" doesn't always mean "Happy Ending"
I realized that "I love you"
Doesnt always mean "take everything i have"
I found out that "I love you"
Doesnt always mean "I love you"
That "Forever"
Is about as real as you meeting the one under a ******* cherry blossom tree

Yes, his eyes may sparkle,
Yes, they don't see him the way you do
Yes, the words I love you
Feel like the sweater you finally bought after eyeing it for months,
Yes, this moment may feel so surreal,
That you can hear the background music and see the sparkles everywhere,
But you see,
this is not an anime or a movie,
This love is'nt gonna end up the way you planned it to,
Yes, you may be the author
But this, is not just your story.

-p.a.r

Look in the mirror
What do you see?

Imperfection
As you reach left for
The tan crumbs to cover your uneven skin
And reaching right for
The black
Toxic
Goo
To give the impression that your stubby eyelashes
Aren't incapable of growing

You step back and look at yourself once more
Its not enough

You rummage for the crayon to
Smear across your eyelids
In hopes that it will make your
Dull
Brown eyes
Pop

Your face feels pounds heavier
Yet, are you really done so soon?
Aren't you forgetting something

You dig deep into the drawer
To find a
Burning
Red paint to drown your thin pale lips in
Longing for the look of that
Photoshopped
Supermodel you saw in that magazine

You come downstairs
Dad says you look like a clown
Mom says you're still a kid
Society says its not enough

What do you say

I can't blame you for wanting more than I can give.
I've always wanted that too.
Loneliness takes away everything.
Your sleep.
Your appetite.
Your will to understand.
And to stay alive.
I won't ask you to be just friends.
I won't ask you to stay.
As much as I wish you could, if you'd rather leave,
I'll let you go.
You've given me those memories
And I cant ask for more.
I hope that you always find someone,
To keep you company and make you smile.
Because every one always leaves
And that's okay too. They aren't supposed to stay.

missing my comfort
when i was girl of two...
no expectations and nothing to do...

today i am called grown up
and also wise...
can think of my rights and wrong..
and also what to decide...
but will somebody listen to me
that who am i...
and what i want to decide..  

i miss the comfort i had as a kid...
but this doesnt means i want to get rid
i still have person loving me most..
but these expectations makes life as a fear of ghost...

Wilt my lungs
I’ll breathe in bitter bloom
And fill my chest with concrete tombs

At twenty one I exhaled tar
And covered my birthday cake

Ribs for the skyline
This city built a church round my heart
Before some gutter punks spray painted the side of the stained glass
With the suicide rates of middle-class citizens

Nothing has been the same since

When I was young
I was raised on Disney
And taught that my bones were living things

At thirteen years old
I nestled a heart within the clouds and smoke of my chest
It suffocated to death

I’ve never broken a bone
But I’ve trailed plenty of marrow

you asked me the other day
if i ever got afraid
"you are so fearless."
you said.
i let you believe it
while i laughed inside.

i am no where near fearless darling.
i'm sorry but it's true.
for one of my biggest fears is losing you.

(a.d)