I like to write instead of fight, I punch with words and kick with sweet verbs and let language channel my energy, amplifying synergies and creating impact greater than my body can enact. The words come unbidden, hidden in my mind until the perfect time for them to pounce, they announce their intent and invent themselves anew, spreading truth into the night sky like a firefly, catching eyes and freeing minds, my words can give sight to the blind as they remove the ***** lenses and cleanse your senses so you can see the world clearly. These words I try to channel, try to filter, stitching them together like a quilter but really they knit themselves, I am just a self pretending to have power as each hour proves that I have no control, that I is a concept I made up, existential make-up to cover up the crisis that can’t be contained by vices and distractions, the fact that I am just chemical reactions that sustain the secret energy that is me, that flows through pathways and patterns that I can’t see, this illusion that I am free vexes me, entices me, talks nice to me but it is just a lie I made up to answer all the Why’s that I shouted at the sky, to help me deny the truth that one day I will die. I am just energy, flowing through circuits I will never see, just atoms taking shortcuts to combine and refine until consciousness arose and created the divine to explain the mysteries within the human mind. I looked inside, scared of what I might not find, but somehow found peace in the emptiness, bliss in the abyss, freedom as I let go and became one with the flow of the energy that is me, happy to have the gift to see where my atoms take me. Awareness is the miracle I may not understand but I’ll be ****** if I take it for granted. I may not control these words, and it may sound absurd but I will use this illusion of free will to keep my sanity long enough to help others find reality, to see we are all part of the same energy and finally rest easy in the sweet release of flowing freely.
