I started this because
No one else would
And I told anyone who asked
That if they wanted to be in charge they could.

I took charge because
It was the right thing to do
But if you wanted to do it
I would’ve let you.

I'm not in charge of directing
Or picking out the cast
And if you wanted me to have less power
Then you could have just asked.

I'm only gathering names.
And making sure we’ve got a script.
I'm not judging the talent
That's someone else’s pick.

You could have spoken to me
Instead of some random prefect
Words hidden behind your hands
Like I'm some ***** secret.

Would you rather it was a mess
Of crumbled papers on the floor
With sean yelling st us
And Ms carvill wanting more.

Would you rather we did nothing
Had no play at all?
But would you stand that judgement?
Would you take the fall?

What is it you actually want?
I hope I find out later
Cause I'll put it in the play for you
Signed-
   Your loyal dictator.

If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you. I know this to be true, even if the abyss is not necessarily anything outside myself. The abyss is simply, The Abyss. It is not within me or without me, it is just being. And I do gaze into it. I don't really take this to mean that I will become like my hates or enemies, as I believe that I have always been what I hate- my own worst enemy. I take this to say that The Abyss, for however long I look into it, also looks into me. It leaves marks on my soul; deep gouges made with stained black talons. The Abyss is many things, and also nothing at the same time. It is darkness, that is a given, it is also The End. It is The Apocalypse, it is The End of Time. The Abyss is the complete-stop-of-everything. Some people even believe that the surging water-deep of a literal abyss is Hell itself, though I think I know better. The Abyss is not Hell, because when your soul is released from your vessel, and you of course have committed sin, you do not go to The Abyss. Your soul does not forever reside in the Nothingness of The Abyss, your soul does not belong to it unless it belongs to you. Even so, after looking into The Abyss for a long period of time, it is hard to shake the feeling of its eyes on you. It can linger for days, and the restless, dreamless state that those eyes leave you in is hard to leave behind. As someone who is constantly staring into The Abyss, I find that it never quite leaves me. It's almost as if The Abyss has left some part of it inside me, within my very being. I can't hope to root it out without never seeing into The Abyss ever again, and I don't imagine that will happen any time soon. The Abyss has been a... comfort to me. The promise of Nothingness, of simply Not Being, has always appealed to me. This existence of mine has not been an easy one, but it has been growing on me. Even with the promise of Nothingness, I think that I will try and stay Existing for as long as I can. Existing has its perks of course. I get to think and feel and experience, and part of that Feeling is Love, which I believe may be the most important one of all. What is there, without Love?

That, I believe, is what The Abyss actually is. Lack of Love.

to leave your allies
who helped you achieve
your often-boasted victories

unprotected

against their well-known
overpowering enemy
is abominable betrayal

a crime most foul!

Attempting to harm
my enemies
did not bring me joy and happiness,
did not bring me peace of mind;
I made the enmity worse,
I got myself into trouble;
I was traumatised
by the whole experience.

Now I defend myself
against enemies,
but I don’t try to harm them;
I focus on achieving my own joy and happiness.

I feel my spirit drift to yours,
It's not exactly a good thing, is it?
Do we know,
What it was,
All my colours,
And all of yours,
A blur,
A brown,
A morose.