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Eleanor Apr 30
There are tears.
There is always tears.
a fight,
an expertly written poem
a short story.
All cause my emotions to cascade
and seek to overrule.

But for only a moment
is that allowed.
The river is stopped.
a tear or two displaying the
appropriate level of sadness.
Then I must stop.
I mustn't show you more tears than that.

The concern's differ
The questions heave the painful truth
on to the tip of my tongue.
But I swallow them. I will always lie.
It's better this way.
I'm just tired, I've a slight headache.
I am only a bit upset.
Like a lot of people with mental health issues I find myself lying about my feelings as to not inconvenience anyone. Often times I become upset by things that happen in school or with my friends but I've mastered the deceitful art of stopping myself from crying and using believable excuses if I'm asked.
  Apr 11 Eleanor
Sylvia Plath
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful --
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
Eleanor Apr 10
The emperor’s dinner was served.
Finally cooked fresh fish tonight.
And when the emperor had finished,
He felt perfectly alright.

Later the emperor felt queasy.
The pain in his chest was dull.
As he fell in a faint,
His stomach was unbearably full.

The emperor lay on the ground.
Trying to breathe with all his might.
In the end all he could do
Was accept he could see the light.

As the emperor lay dying
And contemplating his fate.
Servants raced to find the poisoned food.
But alas, they wouldn’t. It was the plate.
I was given the prompt 'plate' by a friend and this was the first thing my mind came up with :)
  Apr 10 Eleanor
Blue
You
With your words
The Knife.
You.

Me
Knowing and not knowing,
Afraid and clueless.
Me.

Us
A thing that used to be,
The dust on the mantle.
Us.

We
Will never be the same
The blood that was spilled across the floor.
We.

This crime scene filled with pain and sorrow and regret.  The murderer and the victim one in the same—but also separate.  Two hearts that both dance to the same miserable song.
Oof...  I wrote this one a while ago...

(Also this poem is dedicated to my father, like a like a lot of my poems)
  Apr 10 Eleanor
Samantha
Noting changes.
Nothing grows.

Empty highs.
Empty lows.

I can't feel the warm,
And I can't feel the cold.

You try to make me happy,
And I try just for you.
But other than our trying,
Nothing else is new.

I worry I'll upset you,
If I can't make a change.
It's not fair of me,
To make you stay the same.
Don't let me drag you down with me.
  Apr 10 Eleanor
Emily Dickinson
561

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, Eyes—
I wonder if It weighs like Mine—
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long—
Or did it just begin—
I could not tell the Date of Mine—
It feels so old a pain—

I wonder if it hurts to live—
And if They have to try—
And whether—could They choose between—
It would not be—to die—

I note that Some—gone patient long—
At length, renew their smile—
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil—

I wonder if when Years have piled—
Some Thousands—on the Harm—
That hurt them early—such a lapse
Could give them any Balm—

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve—
Enlightened to a larger Pain—
In Contrast with the Love—

The Grieved—are many—I am told—
There is the various Cause—
Death—is but one—and comes but once—
And only nails the eyes—

There’s Grief of Want—and Grief of Cold—
A sort they call “Despair”—
There’s Banishment from native Eyes—
In sight of Native Air—

And though I may not guess the kind—
Correctly—yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary—

To note the fashions—of the Cross—
And how they’re mostly worn—
Still fascinated to presume
That Some—are like My Own—
Eleanor Apr 10
Is this love?
This steady heartbeat  
These interlocked arms  
and entwined feet
The gentleness of us.
Is this love?

Is this love?
No overwhelming passion found here.
Only a few nerves
No encompassing fear
The acceptance of us.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Not the film promised romance
No tidal waves of emotions.
Just the calming dance  
Of supportive partnership.
Is this love?

Is this love?
No ridiculous expectations
Of grandeur had
Just equal participation
In the life we share.
Is this love?

Is this love?
I've never seen it before
Portrayed in fiction
I worry I'll start to want more  
but feel this is enough.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Existing simply with our friends
Movie days, complaining.
Knowing that this has no end
No arguments here.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Having held you in my arms,
And wanting you to stay.
Hoping you never come to harm
That I could protect you from.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Where I can see  
That you will always  
Be there to support me.
As I will for you.
Is this love?
written for someone very important to me <3
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