My name means pure, unsullied. It means that i'm untouchable, it means that i am alone, It means i am bigger than life, it means i smile with teeth of white. It means i am lonely somewhere in the light, it means you can't polute me. It means that if you are with me you're alone, it means i can't be mixed or altered by any other substance, when i get mixed in a substance, i don't react, i don't alter from my perfect white, it means you can't defy me, but remember to show me the bright colors that happen when you react with someone else.
My name is bright but misunderstood. Misinterpreted is the color of my eyes. No one is fit to my name, therefor it is rare. Therefor i'm not sure it fits. It means i get hurt, but still try getting on my feet. It means i find the good in other people, that i inherit the best traits. Even if i can't see it myself.
My name is spelled wrong, defying who i am, it misses a place to belong, my name is not easy to pronounce.
My name is a hurricane in the states, it is quick temper, my name is impatience, it means i can crush your heart, it means you can't carry mine. It means if you are with me you are on top of the world, it means you can't tear me down, im taking humans in my palms, swallowing the seas and rivers like saliva. And when you fall from the highest altitude remember to give me your black bruises. My name is unforgivable, my name meant pure once, my name was cold as the winter, killing butterflies, and my name is incarnated in the fields of Louisiana, killing people, and asking them to forgive me. Understand; i am not as pure as my name.
It means, i am alone, like the hurricane that carries my name i will be gone quicker than i came but never forgotten. It means that when i settle you fall from my palms. It means that i disapear, while you get hurt. It means that i am only shown in the atmosphere, watching, waiting and never coming back. If or when i do, you will have changed my name and i will be replaced by another hurricane, ten times stronger and harder to let go. I will be watching, dissapearing, while you are in the palms of another. When the rain finally falls, know that it is only my tears, they may not taste like salt, but they will taste bitter of heartbreak, and when everyone is shouting of pure happiness that the drought is finally over, that the water is fresh and delightfull, remember to tell me how you taste the hurt from my heart, in her mouth.
I will not be forgotten, whatever it takes.
When my name told me i was meant to be pure. I thought about how i blamed everyone who sullified me, knowing that the only one who poluted me was myself. Knowing that everything i have ever done was make myself less aproachable, more broken, more *****. less pure. I meant to destroy myself so i couldn't become a stereotype of my name. Now i am only expected to come spiralling down in a storm of dirt whenever i arrive.
When my name told me the truth, i thought i was the one doing the hurting, the damage. When all along i was the most hurt, broken and damaged. I am unsure of weather or not i deserve my name, but no matter what i will not be unsure of weather or not i am worthy of it.
