There's something wrong, hanging in the air
Tastes sweet, and fetid, we feel it on the wind
In the dying heat, seeping through the screen
And it catches your attention

You don't seem to notice that I follow you outside
Watch you worm your way past the trees
I hesitate, for a second, something in my throat
you start to run, as you gain distance, my chest feels tight

You disappear inside. Through the open door
A trail of residue, marking your every step
I feel it on each rung, in my apprehension
I'm overcome with dread

And in that sordid loft, I find you in the shade
I feel my throat convulse and I collapse

Mind scattered, sickness takes its way, I'm trying to hold
Myself together, I can't think straight
Appalled beyond remnants of my faith

Intrinsic repulsion, at every sickened sound you make
Pity rends at my soul, as I watch as you rise
Against the shadow, I can see your eyes
As you start to see me, in a different light

So finding myself alone, i clung to your affidavit
I guess you got me in your own way, in a misguided attempt at reconciliation
You locked me out of my own heart, out of my mind
And swore up and down that you'd done nothing of the sort

I can no longer find the will of better self
A promise that I could relate the truths I found

my words
are only sentences
nothing more
each word
is made up of only letters
nothing more
and yet
they mean something
and nothing
and everything
my words
tell the story
my own mouth can't
the story
I hide
my words
paint the picture
but my words
are anything
but
a Poem

i wish there was a way to escape this pain i'm feeling.

i try to scream but the other side takes over and puts the mask on me

not allowing me to express myself.

i wish i could truly be happy with myself and not always think

"i'm a failure"

when others say i'm not.

I feel the tears forming inside the prison in my head but they never

fall.

I wish i would stop hiding my feelings towards other because i think

it'll just bring them into my misery.

I wish one day there is an exit to this pain i'm feeling.

If you'll pardon the intoxicated indigestion
I have a rather erratic, dogmatic question:
If I woke up in the morning and I were broken
If I have used my last lucky little token
Would you love me still?
Would you join for the thrill?
Would you stay for the past
Or admit it couldn't last?

Time is flying, and I'm tired of trying
To pretend I can't taste the sand.
I loved you through everything
I held you through broken wing
If it were my turn because I wouldn't learn
And had to burn to understand
Would you still hold my hand?

Witness of broken promises
Bearer of complete unhappiness
Deep down inside the unknown
Feelings are forgotten and thrown

~
You disappoint me and let me down
I am afraid to act strange 'cause
I don't want seeing you sad.

I am god
G
O
D
No,
Crazy I am not
I’m Divine
I’m Endless
I’m Omnipresent
I’m Omniscient
Third eye
No, fourth
Look into my eyes
Die, mortal
G-O-D
*****, get on your knees
******* away
G-O-D
Dear fledgling creation
Just like that
No, like that
It’s not my caveman grunts
That give away
How much that felt
Like a slice of heaven

I wish you could know
How this steady narcissism boils in my blood
It leaves me ready to take each moment
As the new center of the universe
It’s liberating, and you’ll never quite get
How I got here
But in the end, it's all about these moments
Where the flesh brings me to the present
As the back of my head spirals with the stars
But I’m deep below my conscious
Ready to mutter meaning into this meaningless space
Between cells and fragments of unpleasant thought

If only you could understand
But I’m more than flesh
G-O-D
Strike me down
Thou shalt obey
Just a bit deeper, babe
That’s all I ask
Shh….
It only hurts for a moment
Or so the TV models say
But you,
You’re made of heartier steel
Just like that
No, that
I can’t get enough
G-O-D
Not ego
Don’t talk back
In the master’s home
It’s not enough
To satiate me
Just like that
A little deeper
I can’t get enough
G-O-D
******* away

I’m chasing pleasure in gaslight
Shining on me through the window and thin curtains
The moon watches while the core shivers
I’m eyeballs deep in this drifting set of thoughts
As I force myself to move
Chasing something so momentary before I collapse
Lack of sleep is one hell of a drug
So is caffeine
And the memories of toxicity that ring in my head
She built me up
And tossed me aside
I deserved it, but now I’m back
To being the hot-blooded sun
Waiting to ignite the world

I can’t get enough
When intoxication
Leads to indoctrination
Killing inhibition
G-O-D
Shut up, priest
Go **** an altar boy
You sick creep
I won’t open the door to you
But babe, keep going
Don’t leave the sheets
G-O-D
Don’t leave me
Please
I need it
Just like that
Just like that
It’s more than love
It’s lust
Babe, let’s start over
Before hangover
I’m god
So try not to disappoint
Keep going
Just like that
Yeah babe, just like that

I can’t stop wearing this facade
Not when it’s all just began
This is a time for rain
The type that lets my rot and grime flourish
At least for a time
But now, its sleep
Washing over me and a perfect stranger
Waiting for her to forget me in the next week
Just the way I like it
It’s no fun when everyone knows
That you’ve been the core this entire time
And you want nothing more
Than distance from what makes you, you

I wrote this poem for me.
I wanna show to the world:
I'm the biggest *******.

Hey, you!
You ****.
You are a ****-up.
I made this poem--no, this song,
To immortalize me:
I hate yourself.

I think you ****.
You make me sick.
I want to burn you, just for fun.
This is my song.
Look at your friends.
Your family.
They left you.
And it's all your fault.
You've been a bad boy.
You've been a big *******.
And ******* congratulations:
You played yourself.

You got no one to go to:
You got no one to vent to.
I can't stand you at all?
Why won't you
Jump off a train
Overdose
Skin yourself
Sell some drugs
Play Frogger
Kiss a toad
Drink liquid oxygen
Stab yourself
Drown yourself
Shoot yourself
******* some delinquents
Go to a war
Play a guitar
Write a poem
Show it to your friends
Get laughed at
Cry
Suffer
Die?

You are alone.
You won't be recognized.
You won't be loved.
You won't have any friends.
See you in hell.
Hope it burns real good.

God, you've been the inspiration
For this wonderful poem
I hate you so much
That I wrote this poem
For us to be immortalized

Yeah, I hope I ******* die.

Madness is majestically killing me from the inside out.
I shake about in a lonely haze.
Madness will figure it out.
Lame brain match train mash cherries in an apple orchard.
Who am I really helping here?
Am I writing this out of fear of leaving a footprint or the idea of being meaningless.
Manic Monday's lead to astral Sunday's eventually.
And finally we all plead with the seed to grow in a barren wasteland.
What about now?
What about shouting makes it okay?
The same with planes arriving causing delay.
Life… is about checks and balance's… and keeping your brain attached while they try and strip it away to nothing, burn it, and leave you in the gutter.
"I'm dead!" you will say, while secretly you hide it away and pretend to be a useless zombie inferior to everyone else.
I'm still here.
I never knew what that means until now and how it is a statement but it is also dangerous…
Its like inviting death to dinner while you take your sweetheart out to lunch.
"I'll see you later." you say and just like that, without an instant of delay you're gone.

It’s a song.
And we all play along.

And another thing…
What's the deal with hand dryers?
Have an electric float.
Because even with a cherry on top you could've used a towel.
Speed up the process….
So you dry your hands and then go in to sit through a meeting about tea.
We are all so bouncy, bounding more than strides when we're born and then…
And then?
And then we all start doing things that don't make sense until it slowly drains us of all our money and we end up in the gutter.
Again.
Always with the gutter…
Like… why throw a curve ball through life when instead of being happy you found yourself a wife.
Married out of wedlock.
Found yourself a *****.
Speak as an intrepid person.
Well, now watch me soar.
I'm a lyrical principalist with lots of disciples all of whom I miss.
All of whom I miss.
One more time for this…
All of whom I miss.

And… its not like that bad. I'm not like.. A sad lad.
Its just, if you were born to do nothing… you might as well enjoy it with your friends.
But.. They were all born to do something.
So now I sit here on the fence.
Sort of a combination between humpty dumpty and a stray cat.
A strange combination at that.
No compensation for that…
Giving use to a fence.
42.