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Stewie Apr 2021
Can I ever make a decision?
The answer dances on my tongue
Behind my teeth.
Pursed lips and blank eyes.
To dissociate with reality is surely bliss.
I know who I am in my own head.
Out there is a population of mindless sheep.
Tell me it’s time to wake up.
I hear your whisper in my ear.
But if only a dream
pandemoniac Apr 2021
silent poet thinking words,
never i must write
lucid wretched loving words
all bark and half the bite

silent poet thinking thoughts
the ink refused to make
mind and pen are separate
an unyeilding opaque

if i tell the tale to you
of love and praise and good
you'd laugh and laugh and laugh some more
naive misunderstood

my mind a chasm of infinite good
the world dichotomous strange
the vines do seize me gently
to a velvet padded cage

my head is a bed of roses
the thorns pierce me not
i am safe and free and happy
delusional, deep in thought

**** me softly
make me smile
your intoxicating
rapt exile

silent poet thinking thoughts
writes symphonies in his head
the writer and the audience
will dance until they're dead

silent poet thinking words
is struck by stockholm syndrome
perfect captor perfect world
illusion is his home
why am i not a good story-teller if all i do is daydream?
دema flutter Mar 2021
I can't seem to
remember
how it felt
to spend
243 endless
days with you,

I guess that's
the best example (metaphor)
of dissociation
during trauma.
For all the effort that goes into them.
Dreams and games fail to replicate reality.
I've been able to let myself become immersed,
Totally enveloped in artificial worlds,
But a simple mistake can be a thread,
That undoes the entire tapestry.
I'm forced from the illusion,
Back into reality.
But lately some things don't make sense,
And real has never felt more fake.
I can't help myself from wondering,
Is there something else waiting if I pull this thread?
12 lines, 293 days left.
cleo Mar 2021
people ask me how i’m doing and i say ‘okay’
nobody questions it; cuz that’s what they all say
only time my words are questioned is when i speak my mind
don’t wanna hear reality, so put me back in line
i wish the whole wide world could know just how i feel
this life of fear and lies simply has no appeal
the voices in my head speak more truth than you
i’m getting tired of always confusing the two
my mind is a haunted house; there’s more to me than meets the eye
body full of so many secrets despite my size

if given the choice, maybe i wouldn’t choose this one to possess
occupying a vessel this anxious just leads to more stress
‘friend in high places’ but the place is your head [in the clouds]
smoking and drinking to quiet us; but trust me you can’t drown us out
there’s more work to be done and words to be said
most talk internally but that don’t mean we’re not friends

something to be said about an openminded guy
with so much personality they started to compile
a collective consciousness sprouting within
took years too long to finally let us in
but here we are, now you know and you listen
at names mentioned, your heart now quickens
beats as one, as we are together
a single unit of several, here for each other
confusing to all but one another
you find yourselves in us
a conversation amongst ourselves
Chloe Haas Feb 2021
am I broken
is there something wrong with me
I just feel so confused
and gone
and alone
you see,
I thought I had someone and then she left me.
for all the things my mind did to my body.
and then there was her but she left me and every-body.
but is there something wrong with me?
I feel as though I don't work properly.
my mind and soul drifts away from me
disconnected from all of what's left of me.
and everyone leaves.
...and I'm not here enough to tell them to stay.
Void Feb 2021
The intricate patterns
Plastered on the wall
So intricate in design
But I've studied it all
The wall is a friend
Of whom I can depend
To console my broken spirits
My mind relaxes
As time passes
And all I do is stare
Nothing seems to matter anymore
As I stare at my wall
As I stare, I start to lose feeling until I feel nothing at all
Alexciya Feb 2021
The gurgle of the coffee maker,
The clink of your spoon on the frigid counter,
The sizzle of bacon residue in a frying pan,

and an egg cracking over it.

The murmurs of the news reporters on the tv,
The distant roar of a train in the background,
The dive into sensory pleasure,

while reality dissipates.

The smell of hazelnut creamer and cinnamon,
The taste of a waffle with buttery syrup,
The warm sun on your face through the window,

today is good; today will be different.

The giggles of the waffles and coffee,
The light conversation and hard laughter,
The feeling of home... within them,

a sudden shift in atmosphere.

The sharp loss of appetite
The grieving of what wasn’t lost
The shared remorse for nothing you’ve done

they tell you that you’re pathetic.

The despair in your mug dropping into the table
The swallowed tears and screams
The chaos that covers every square inch of you

distance between you and hope still stands.

The ***** kitchen and your empty stomach
The distressing moonlight that creeps in the window
The anger in thinking you’re liberated this time

sounds of an empty home stir.

The cold seats that have accompanied nobody
The wallowing roar of silence
The jacket of despair that wears you

your average day.
Cole M Jan 2021
Once again it was past midnight
when I woke up from my lethargy
and I couldn't feel a thing.

Nothing has changed
after all these years I couldn't live,
I'm still whining and crying
pointing to the sky with trembling hands,
waking up watching the same day over and over
and I can't help but keep asking to the void,

why am I staring at the same ceiling,
writhing in the same agony,
recalling the same gone days,
locked up in the same rotten body?

Because no one will answer,
please, God,
release me.
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