I have no choice
I must leave
To be with god
I look down from above
I will watch you my children
Make sure you chase your dreams
I have no choice
I have to go
My body is tired
But my soul will fly

Written by
Michael Matthews

Death is within sight
Time to go into the light
Return to where all are from
Time to see our fathers son
I leave this world of sickness and pain
No longer a reason to remain
Today death is within sight
Not long before I go into the light

Written by
Michael Matthews

My vision going black
Wishing I could go back
Back to when things began
To when I could see all my friends
Wishing to tell them all how I miss them
Them not seeing what I have become
The sick and fragile person of today
Wishing that I could stay
Nothing will bring me back
As my vision is going black

Written by
Michael Matthews

I used to be scared
Scared of the monsters under my bed
And the way "the boogieman" deals with bad children
But now that I'm older
Only fear seems to come my way

I'm scared
Scared of the fact
That my nightmares could become reality
That my past could be my present
And my rights could morph into wrongs

I'm scared
Because I don't want anyone to know
How much I love them
And how much I care for them
How weak with sentiments I am

I'm scared
That my loved ones will turn on me
That I will fail in what others expect of me
That I will be judged for all my mistakes

I'm scared
That my life will be filled with this endless suffering
Filled with endless stress
Filled with endless weariness
Filled with endless questions

Endless questions...
Am I okay will I be okay should I be okay should I be normal like everyone else when will I be like everyone else do I want to be like everyone else do I want to be better than everyone else am I better than everyone else am I good enough I am not good enough when will I be good enough when will I get answers when will I die how should I die can I die will someone **** me what am I thinking should I be thinking about this why am I thinking about this?

Endless emotions,
love, hate, calm, frustrated, confidence, fear, good, bad, live, die, death, life, normal, strange, pain, ache, tired, questions, confusion, fear, more hate, hot, cold, right, wrong, up, down, satisfaction, regret, spare, ****, shallow, deep, truth, lies, on, off, WILL THIS PAIN EVER STOP?

I'm scared. I'll admit it.
Scared to love,
Scared to hate,
Scared to fight back on the darkness
That forever awaits

I'm scared I'll hurt someone
If I leave this world
If I leave my story behind
So what do I do?

I'm scared I'll keep living
In between reality and insanity
I want to stop living
But I'm scared of dying...

Help me... please... I'm just...

                            afraid
                                  tired
                                      fearful
                                         scared.

Sunrises are beautiful
a beautiful beginning of a new day
but sunsets are even better
and it shows that you have survived the entire day
without dieing

for the past few days the same thought has went through my head
what if I just stop living?
meanwhile my heart has kept asking me
but what if we just stopped dieing?

Charred beats reverberate consuming
all entities of loves embrace,  like Ivy
suffocating its needed rhythm.

Arteries suffocate with the lack of
perception withering to a husk, dormant
and unwanted like a wilted rose.

*It is ideally throw away...