Gravitating toward home
with its star stained skyline
a latch on every door
torn over coffee
the smell of peppermint
a tear here where tears have been
the hope of a stranger
helping to embolden
an empty cup
pouring.

Words could not describe the aching in my
heart. The silence roars an anxious song like an
eternal sea crashing the waves onto the shore,
never looks at where it came from. Nobody knows.

Heavy breaths blow my frizzy baby hairs in
every direction and they touch your nose,

longing for the affection my depression begged you for.
Everyone tells me that I should never beg for love.
Fools they are for thinking
that I couldn't go on my knees.

I’m desperate to be held by you. I’m desperate to love. I’m desperate to know care and connection- it’s why I say so many empty words. Desperation. I press my hands on you and you step back. “Touch softy.” you tell me. I press my hands on you and you step back. How long ‘till I learn to love right, how long ‘till I learn to speak my heart to you, to anyone?





-

Days of angst
Pursue me through
Awkward moments galore,
The hangover to my prior life.
Middle school bells ring
In the corridors of my mind,
Harkening back to a time
When sharpened pencils were More important than rent.
High school bells bring me
A cold comfort I can't explain,
I guess not enough time
Has passed for me to smile.
If only these tears
Could be wiped from my face
Without the slow hand of time
Quelling my soul's embrace.
Perhaps I'd smile with heart.

Empty pockets
Spread threadbare,
Growling stomachs
Ached despair.
Ain't no money to see
In this mess of a reverie.
Cold winters kissing me,
Smokey wind upon my door.

If only I had one...

I'd be all set,
Chaufer driving me
To my charming jet.
My honey and I
Would always kiss sweet,
Never having to worry
About what to eat.

If only...
life weren't so grim.
Poverty & cheap thrills
Wearing my spirits thin.
My charcuterie is plastic,
So is my base lifestyle.
I'm dreary eyed with things drastic,
Trying to chase a break for a while.
But my blues are static
And they're charging me up
Just to drive me wild.

Shadows that haunt
My sleep
Awaken the treachery
Of souls I've lost to keep.

Corrupted royalties
Disrupting vanities
Signal to loved ones
This mind is asleep.

Could be a year or two.
I didn't know her, did you?
Whatever I try to do
It's never true.

Speak from your heart.
Your words are rambles
At best.
Tear me apart.
Exit my life,
I'll be blessed.

Life is as inviting
As she is intense,
But don't be put off
By her indifference.

She will make us all martyrs
Before we're left diminished;
Leading us to slaughter
As we bask in our innocence.

So fear not her wrath,
For she is not shrill.
Their only directive is to ****;
Live before you've had your fill.

O with what heavy heart
And steaded blissfulness
Doth I burdened start
Dodge the dreaded crinkles.
My soul is aching,
Much to my chagrin
As she stands there alone,
Sullenly basking.
How I Wish to be freed
From this forsaken place
Allowed to wander by steed
At a vagabond's thorough pace.
Yearn for adventure
I shall
Through the bitter years that follow,
For I myself a lady
Stall not the humble morrow.

I've turned new leaves
From Brown to Green,
Yellow to Red,
Dust to ash.

A week ago
Was quite warm,
Cold didn't bother
me very much.
Now I shiver,
Not alone without
But without within.

Guess I'm dying.

Not forever,
But for now.
Not a new death,
But a constant one.

That's waiting
I do suppose,
wanting things now.
Expressing fickle desires
Through prose.
But your needs now
Aren't the wants you'll
Have later.
Those are never ones
You plan for.

Murdered egos run sullied
Down your streets.
Dreams lost to misfortune,
Hoping to catch a beat.
There are no big breaks here,
Only small miracles.
Still,
America has taken my fortune.
I give and give
But never get to take myself.
You're my everything
Because you've taken everything.
Why am I still nothing to you?