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Eryri Aug 2019
This former giant
Commander of man and beast
Now lies prone
Horizontal to the Vertical of his prime
Struggling to hear
Struggling to think
Struggling to commune

Aura diminished
A dim dot glow

A sorry sight to behold
As age takes a steely hold
Unfortunately,
I'm stuck in the sea
Between you and me.

I swim relentlessly towards you,
but the sea never ends.

Tick tock and I forgot whom I'm longing for, and I'm lost in an unrelenting ocean of dread and misery.

Not knowing my starting point nor my destination, I find myself drowning in my own desolation.

I hear my name echo like thunder,
But the song of your voice resonates no more.
It lost its magic.

With all that surrounds me I feel nothing but blue. My mind no longer recalls what it means to be "Me and You".

Maybe had we met half way,
I'd still know who you are.
annh May 2019
Her thoughts, gathered on the in-breath, are misplaced on the out-.

As her memories float free of their moorings, ninety summers fill the late-afternoon room with a kaleidoscope of people and places: a young girl in a home-made dress plays tag with her brother in a Provençal orchard; a dark-haired teenager waits at a station fiddling with the yellow star pinned to her cardigan; a Milanese tailor embroiders freshwater pearls onto a snow white wedding bodice; and - over by the window - a dashing young cavalry officer, with eyes which reflect my own, stands in the shade of a blue jacaranda.

‘J'ai oublié,’ she whispers as I nuzzle her cheek goodbye.

You may have forgotten, Bubbe, but I have not the stories you have told me.

‘We are a kaleidoscope of complicated intricacies. A million different facets of light and darkness.’
- K. M. Keeton
annh May 2019
She sheds her memories like the filaments of a dandelion clock. Fragile and irreplaceable, they slip and tumble beyond her grasp; displaced in one breath, one word, one conversation.

Searching for what might have been in the diary of her imagination, she finds only scattered pages and missed entries. She hopes that tomorrow will be a better day. But tomorrow was yesterday.

‘Thin, I think, that fabric between realities. Maybe minds aren’t lost. Maybe they just slip through and find a different place to wander.’
- C.J. Tudor, The Chalk Man
John Reilly May 2019
at 4 A.M.
you do these things
they become habit
eating in the middle of the night
waking up as routine
contemplating your plight
contemplation
of you
what you do
in the middle of the night
is that really you
or a symptom
or side effect
did you choose the road here
or is it a neurological pathway
a chemical imbalance
a plaque to your horror
at 4A.M.
contemplating
taking things apart
or are they
taking
apart
you
wrote this ages ago it seems but never posted.  I'm actually sleeping past 4AM now which helps my sanity a ton!  Thanks trazadone.
zero May 2019
My memory fails me.
My head cannot contain these
faces anymore.
People tend to look more and more
the same every single day.
Sometimes I don't even recognise myself in
the mirror.
My face sags down at the cheeks.
My lips no longer full or pink.
My eyes grey.
No more green.
Not anymore.

My world is in this room.
The odd ornament brings
me back- I think.
These brown carpets.
These blue dressed nurses.
These white sheets.
This room is no longer my home.
This world is too confusing.

My family don't visit anymore.
Even if they did I wouldn't remember
what they looked like.
What they smelt like.
The way it felt to hold them.
My hands can't touch as well
as before.
They shake and spill.
I cry.
I don't know what's happening to me.

My mind doesn't work anymore.
Once I was lost I turned up here with
a suitcase I didn't pack and
a promise of weekly visits.
They forgot one week.
They forget the next.
They forget the next.
And they forget the next.
I can't remember what it was
like to feel loved anymore.
I can't curl up in bed.
I'm too stiff.
I'm simply too old.
Please visit the elderly. Sometimes being alone is the hardest fight.

-Dilon.xo
Bhill Mar 2019
Why oh why am I?
I am here because of you.
You and you alone...

Brian Hill - 2019#74
Inspired by Mom
My mother passed Mar 20 2019
Alzheimer is nasty and ugly
Nat Lipstadt Mar 2019
~for the one who will know it was written for her~

muddy verb and adjective,
muddling and muddled

have you ever seen a pas de deux/deluxe,
one dancer, proscriptive,
and her partner, prescriptive?

the stage, of course,
exactly the width of your head,
from ear to shining ear

this couple o’muses dance en concert,
though their very natures are anti-logarithmic,
the value of their exponential activity is a
descriptive nomenclature

I am overly abstruse this Saturday morn,
mushing mathematics and ballet, verbal word games
as is my wont wanted,
everyone sleeping while I rise at 6am,
doing ablutions, seeking absolution,
pulling weeds from our respective gardens,
answering old friends I have yet to meet,
to whom I answer,
“still here, though long time no see,”
which is of course hysterical funny, inherently contradictory,
as the brain grasps well my
Red and Dead Sea brain cells, a splitting motif

muddling and muddled,
proscribed from getting on transport,
to deliver to you the proper healing prescriptive,
as if I had in my possess to diagnosis and correctly assess

even though one of my many passport names,
a requirement, to visit,
this inter-netting ether, that both combines and separates,
permits me safe passage,
over the historical lineage of borderlines of land and sea,
to deliver this message,
to you
woman

I am here, waiting patiently, though long time no see like ever,
absentia, dementia, both self-censure,
here, then, my cadenza,
dedicated solely soulfully for you,
as the sabbath sun rises over the East River,
saying, laughing unto me,
“still here, though long time no see,”
for though I cannot look upon her, my sun, my sun,
yet she, as well, is everywhere-inside of me,
warmly illuminating my muddled mind
March 23, 2019
by the East River sunrise
7:14am
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