Daddy, I have grown up and
Daddy, I have become a woman and
Daddy, I do not need you anymore
I have learned to live without your love
to starve myself from your embraces
because I got tired of expecting something
that wouldn't ever come
Exhaustion is a beast
it eats up all your reserves
and greedily asks for more, but
Daddy, my soul has no more to give
I have nothing left to feed it
mo more energy to devote to waiting anymore
I am broke
and you never came
And I wish I could have packed up
and moved on, but
Daddy, I never heard you say it,
I am proud of you
Five single syllable words
Oh, I heard them plenty
when I had gotten an a
or when I won a medal
Or when I did
something so spectacular
that I was lucky to wear your last name
but, Daddy, what about all the other days
you were only proud of me
when I made you look good
so what about my car crash
what about my fractured fingers
what about the times I broke my heart
So they weren't my crowning glory
and they definitely weren't my favorite memories
but they're still mine, and they still define me
And I don't know, can you be ok with that?
Can you look at me, busted head and all
and say, I am proud of you?
Daddy, I have grown up and
Daddy, I have become a woman and
Daddy, I do not need you anymore but
Daddy, that doesn't mean I want you to leave

I was a train wreck
And he was a sinking ship.
I had already crashed,
and I was already burning
But he still had time,
he was only a little damp.

Its so obvious to everyone
Looking in that all he
has to do is swim to shore.
But he's so sad that
he thinks his only option
is to drown.

I told him that he doesn't
have to sink,
just like I didn't have to crash.
But he told me to stop talking
and to go start fire to someone else,

But at night while
we talk on the phone
I pull him from the tides
and he extinguishes my flames.
I tell him this is how family works
but in the morning he jumps right
back into the water
and lights a match to my heart.

So!
Just read me. go on
Read me ******!
Like my journal. which you took
As if it were some book!
Tore my soul down,
from my secret shelf.
I found it! where you left it.
Spine cracked and pages missing.
Forced to. reveal myself.
So go on! theif go on....
Read me!

daddy screams and shouts, eyes burning with rage
mummy cries tears bitter with sage
brother is scared, eyes wide as moons
we all agree daddy has gone through menopause too soon

on our faces, we brush aside this sudden burst
"it's just nothing," we say, "he knows family comes first."
but the sight of him consumed is etched in the air
trapping the three of us in trauma's snare --

his eyes were livid, veins bulged from his neck
pulsing with the viscosity of a lava lake
he burned like blue fire, the kind that burns too hot
destroying everything around it, leaving death-clogged smog

i don't know why daddy is so angry today
till then, in our room, mummy brother and i will stay
i have never seen daddy so angered and flared
so distant with fury, so paralysingly mad

i fear for this family, i never have before this
this fear scares me, so i will make a list
i hope it will serve to place some of my fears
into linear thoughts, before it rains tears

first, daddy has always been holy and kind,
on his chest a cross, you would always find
but as he grows older, with hair turning grey,
with valley-deep wrinkles and memories gone astray,

he seems to forget, that i am human too
with his words, he beats me, beats me black and blue
criticisms and 'bad bad bad' ring through the house
if only he saw, he is the wolf that prowls

second, daddy had been a family man
the kind that spends a fortune flying us over land
but lately, he's just been out of touch and sight
sins queuing outside the door, waiting to enter at night

he seems to forget when i was a child
the cards i gave him, the way i made him smile
but i remember, when his hair was still black
in our family, love and warmth was never in lack

time, stop. return my daddy back to me.
stop this affair, i beg you; don't let age run free.
don't run through your fingers in his hair like that.
don't paint his hair grey, don't make it fall away.

give me the daddy my mummy met, back.

Yes I have curls on my head
Clothes on my bed
but do these things really need to be said?

I have art on my walls
I admit I'm not very tall
And no that is not all

I've got spanish in my veins
I've got looks that amaze

I've got lazy in my brain
A daddy that walks with a cane

Yes I have curls on my head
Clothes on my bed
And that is all that needs to be said

All day, feeling like ****
Is he ever going to quit,
Faking a laugh
Faking a smile,
For me to be happy?
It might take awhile

She grabbed the coattails of his jacket,
Begging her daddy not to leave.
He shrugged the wool garment off,
And bending to his knees:
"Darling, don't cry,
You keep this for me--
God knows you will need it
More than I will need."
Again he turns to leave,
This time clad in green;
"Daddy, I will keep a promise
If you promise me to:
Stay safe and come home--
I will return this coat to you."
He paused, turned, and smiled,
And kissed her little head,
Later swept away for a call to be answered.
But he never returned again.
He tried so hard to keep his promise
To his little girl,
But now twenty years have gone pass:
She still holds on to the wool coat.
And his jacket keeps her warm,
And his jacket dries her tears,
Just like her daddy wanted to.