You're blue and I don't like it,
C'mon son why the long face?
Don't be sulky talk to Daddy, I am here.
You look sick, are you eating well?
Is your mother feeding you well or still on mixture of maize and beans?
I am making a meat-pie with Sheila,
Do come by today for some crossword in the evening, I will make sure you have a bite with ole Dad.

I have drawn some designs for the welsh dresser,
I'd like to make it with you,
Your brothers are all away and this one is still growing he can't hold a plane yet,
Just look at him, he's coming up too fast.

"Ok, will do."

Can I talk to you
Dad
Please
Don't hate me
Don't leave me
Tears
Spill down cheeks
I fall to my knees
I'm in love with her
Hands softly
Caress my back
It's okay
I'm here
I still love you
You're still my daughter
Relief washes over me
Waves of gratitude
For the gift I've been given
The gift of approval
Approval of my love
My eyes flutter open
Realization hits me
Like a slap in the face
It wasn't real
He wouldn't let me stay
Couldn't tolerate who I am
My love is a sin
And I ask myself
Why
Is the happiest dream
I've ever had
Acceptance?

You’re eighteen-years-old.

This role is not yours to be had.

If it were, you would challenge the direction of your country.

College isn’t beyond the summer.

Draft cards don’t burn easily.

Enlistment is the only choice; at least you get a choice.

All, because your country called so loudly.

Soon, you will be on a boat halfway around the world.



To get there, you will travel the path of least resistance.

Any attempt to object would be futile.

Sailors do as they are told.



Pain, both mental and physical, are in store for you.

But, for now, you are nervous and excited.

This torment will last you a lifetime.

It will only be known to a select few.

I am proud to be in that group.

For many years, you were our family's breadwinner.
Your money paid for our breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
Because of my mental impairment, you continued to support me after I turned eighteen.
You could've outworked two twenty year olds, you were the hardest worker I've ever seen.
After twenty months of chemotherapy, you lost your fight.
Your battle with Leukemia ended six years ago tonight.
For the last two days of your life, you couldn't even reply to what people said.
When I received a call from my sister-in-law, she informed me that you were dead.
Your existence on Earth ended at around 10:20 PM.
One day I'll go to Heaven and I will see you again.

Listening to a song sung by a dead man
That reminds me
of my father, longer dead
I know the lyrics better now
Feel them more deeply
Understand them with
wisdom of more years
More life lived
behind me
Than when I first heard this song
and thought of him
20 years ago

I hope you know, I cherish our fond memories together, preserving them in my heart.
All that I shared with you about my childhood dreams, my first love,
The songs I serenaded you with melodies celebrating nature,
Our endless nights together admiring the stars dancing around the full moon!

I remember how tall you stood. You were so strong,
Like Lebanon’s mountains, amidst our land’s ancient ruins.
Facing the Israeli occupation, you stood with so much pride.
I remember how we rejoiced with family and neighbors during the sweet liberation!

My Dad planted you with his hands, he nurtured you with his love and sweat.
He was so strong and now times have changed him:
He’s grown older, thinner, more fragile, his speech is slurred.
The eyes that once held thousands of untold stories are now dim!

You are part of God’s oath, Noah’s mission with the Ark.
You are a sacred plant, a symbol of love, life, peace, friendship,
And generations of culture passed down.
Your roots run so deep in my Dad’s heart and mind.

I implore you old friend, lighten up my Dad’s golden age with your kind heart,
Lend him support in taking more steps towards life,
Keep his spirit alive so he can continue singing the song of a new life, and
Give him the strength to swing on the porch, to admire you again for each new day and pristine sunrise.

Hussein Dekmak