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Still Crazy Sep 25
when the triumvirate,
HBS
(heart, body, soul)
virates in unison's embrace,
with alarms,  belling belligerently:

kid, ya honestly think,
your old enough to be
young enough, to desire
the pain & heartbreak that
makes the agonies surrounding
the sounds of loving, yet bear
your temblors of infatuation?

have you lost perspective,
it was not so long ago
you forswore the risky
unrequited version of
chancing love, now glinting
hintings unhinging your
sense uncommonly
predictably,
and you walk a tightrope
on your fingers,
over waters of
disaster, and
   is a fall and broken bones,
an injury you can
no longer afford,
no lingering chronic condition
sustainable
for the kiddie giddiness
of trying one more time?

go to your nookery,
bring pillow, wine, rhyme
and senses to remind that
this drug you have perfected
and permitted to entertain your
bloodstream's coursing through
the map of your unities, and stay,
write, but dare not imbibe the
elixir that has too often anchored
your poor heart in the dredges
of the ocean bottom?

why look at you even now!

you have been corrupted by
loving rhymes
forgetting the
freedom of free
versing, and your
eyelids encrusted
with diamond dust,
and all you can see
is the
far away horizon of
possibility

gladdened are you by the late
drummer of summer's fading glory's beauty,

but heed your internals,
curse those infernals,
loving is for the deserving
and you are not!

here I am authorized
to remind the heart pain
you endured from losing,
had no cure, and the excesses
you attempted to distract
from the doctor's blunt assement,
that loving feeling.
that left you reeling
the doctor stated,
you, the unsaited,
you, of the physical pain
of that long lasting
heart breaking occlusion
insane, had no cure

suffer not any illusions
a life of heartbreak is
not sustainable,
nor a lifetime refundable,
fall in love often,
take it and its quick deteriorating
high,
but I see you grimace,
you way past the point,

nah, you want it all...
good luck with that....
ac Jul 30
“you’re so mature for your age”
i was 8
i don’t think i should be mature at 8
i shouldn’t even know what “mature” means
i should’ve been a kid but he robbed me

“YOU NEED TO ACT YOUR AGE”
i am!! i finally am!!!
i’m 14 and messed up completely
this is what it’s like now to be a teen

“act like an adult”
yet i’m treated like a child
no wonder you think im wild

your calling me crazed?
babe im freaking insane!!
i’m 16 and everytime that you call
i bang my head against the wall
i wanna KICK,
SCREAM,
and CRY!!
but that’s not how i should behave
it’s not how i was raised
because im “so mature for my age”
Maniacal Escape Jul 2020
Sun soaking up
Dark in your mind
Paralysed in static terror.
Movement in shade
Sprinting through glass
Vision blurs, frozen fear.
Crazed and deranged
Flailing through mist
Demons bring truthful answers.
Flailing deranged, crazed and afraid vision sees frozen glass.
Mind coming too, sheets soaked with fear, your eyes see the sunrise to.
Why not be blamed
For something I did not do?
A crime is not a crime
Unless it has been committed
But this my friends,
It was an accident,
And I am afraid I did not do it

Why not be blamed
For a victimless crime
When it happened right before my eyes
We take the time and time again
And it starts to get real
The happenings begin

Why not be a motherless child
In a world that makes that okay
I am a victim of a crime
A crime that can't be faked

Why not leave
Mother dearest
When I need you most
To work my way through this
I'm starting to hear voices in my head
Help me, mother,
I just want this to end
I am not crazy
The voices haven't pushed me over the edge
Find me, mother
Even though I know you're dead
I am writing this for a friend who is having issues at her home right now. I hope you like it, dear friend.
Khaniek Sep 2017
I don't know how to make this poetic.
I don't care to make it beautiful.
Even now I'm questioning why I'm letting this out. Not even in my black book do I wish to share this nightmare.

"I want to let go though..

There is so much hidden behind this smile. So much discomfort when they brush against my skin, nothing but lies when I hear them speak, the reason why 'love' is something I admire for afar..

I get lost in my writing,
It's very therapeutic. But even this will haunt me for days. How would you suggest letting go of this dark space?

He's right here with me,
Even now.
The reason why I hate them. He's constantly whispering in my ear, giving me reasons why I shouldn't allow anyone close. He's right on my back always a heavy load.

I still can't find the words to rid myself of his face..

I don't know how to share, my nightmare."
Jellyfish Mar 2016
Coughing Crazed
trying to feel things
trying to be happy
just two kids, guitar playing
broken hearts healing
we are cough crazed
and sad some days
Vibrations always find their way
through the soles of her shoes...

She hates the days
when her soul fades away
can't keep up with the daily day
and there isn't any way that
you could make me say that
I love the way life treats us
Like trust for something that rusts
I must keep my head off of the floor
metaphor number four
can ya catch me
or can ya catch no more?
I'm mean like that
and I ain't even roar
I bet your brain is sore
from this rap of sorts
I bet I ****** you off
down to your core, she's singing:

I'm just a sad clown
only around when I'm not wanted
we're just two coughing crazed kids
trying to not be forgotten
but now we've become unresponsive...


Coughing crazed
trying to feel things
trying to be happy
just two kids, guitar playing
broken hearts healing
we are cough crazed
and sad some days
Vibrations always find their way
through his finger tips like magic...

He hates it when they tell him
that he can accomplish so much more
do they not get it?
That he's trying to not be sore anymore
just close the drawer
it's time to move on but he won't forgive and forget
she stung him in the chest
he was crying from it
so overwhelming
everything turns
ain't it absurd
how much they expect
all he needs is respect
but they'll never give him it
so tired of trying
and that's when he starts singing:

I'm just a sad clown
only around when I'm not wanted
we're just two coughing crazed kids
trying to not be forgotten
but now we've become unresponsive...


**We're just sad clowns
only around when we're not wanted
we're just two coughing crazed kids
trying to not be forgotten
but now we've become unresponsive...
I wrote this with one of my best friends, he wrote the second verse about the girl, and I wrote everything else. I guess it's kind of supposed to me a rap, I'd like to think it tells a story.
I have a soft spot for broken melodies, dark words
and repressed emotions.  

These are the kind I know like the marks on my torso
pale branches to deceive countless shadows
within.  Each consumed the spirits
of kindness, adventure and innocence, supplanting the child
permitting a deformed entity, possessed
with crime-less guilt and constant
troubling thoughts--of losses
never truly known.  

A miracle, one might call it, that skin and thin flesh
have not imploded.  
Not yet.  Perhaps

the body is too stiff, too stubborn.  Perhaps
the will has enough still to stretch, stretch,
stretch, stretch
yet
until the frail rubber finally
snaps

where then
will the sanity be, where then
will life go?
LoneWolf Sep 2014
The wind is screaming around the trees.
Interjecting between my thoughts and psychotic capacity.
What is perception to reality?
Is it laying in the gutter looking up at the stars?
Is it laying in a bed stained with someone else's scars?
Are you wishing, hoping for a dream?
Are you as close as you'll ever be tearing at the seams?
Was it a dream hearing her say your name?
Or is this low carb diet your price to be sane?
You're drowning out a girl who you call your psychotic capacity.
You're wondering why she's no longer in love with me.
What if she's the one with the lie, perception is reality.
mind frozen
  
                body tense

I keep telling myself that I care about spiritual growth

but **** it all to hell
        
                    i want to be close in the biblical sense

somewhere there's bumpin' and grindin' happening this very minute.

intimacy intimacy, i tell myself

feel my feelings

i've been numb to my ****** feelings

i get all this, but sometimes ****** thoughts and feeling hit me so hard.
                         i don't know what to do with them, they just mess up my head.

i want serenity.

        i want peace.

              i want some wisdom in all this.

i am not a monk.  
    i do not want to be celibate,
                                            but **** I don't want to be overwhelmed either.


For now I am embracing my *** crazed thoughts, but not acting on them.

                i am more than my thoughts and feelings.

                                                  i am.
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