"..so she just comes up to me and I didn't wanna say nuthin' to her
so I'm just like: 'Hey man, I'm just some dude.'
I wasn't lying, man, I mean, right? We all just dudes, right, man?
I be like 'Check it, dude; hows I sees it is: all us ******' dudes is equal,
and it make no ******' difference whether you got ovaries or testicles or whateverthefuck in between. **** like that is just a bad excuse to hate a ******* for no good reason. There's no need for that.
You best be hatin' a ******* for the right ******' reasons
if you gonna be hatin' on a ******* at all, naw'msayin'?
There are too ******' many good ******* reasons to hate on a fool
to let that silly, lame, petty childish **** cloud our judgements.'

Dude's a dude is a ******* dude no matter ******* what, man.
On a cosmic scale, I will have you know, gender really ain't a thing at all.. yo.
(Not at all to be confused with ***, which, as it says here:
"can surely be cosmological in effect, assuming proper conditions.")
A genuine dude ******* can't be trippin' on petty ***** **** like what the **** is or isn't between your legs! Seriously: grow the **** up.
I mean, if I may, there be bigger issues at hand here-
bigger players in play, as it were, than
what the **** side of what ******' line on the beach you're from,
or what ******' skin you got,
or what genitalia you have,
or what genitalia you like,
or what words you use,
or what the **** versions, translations,
or versions of ******* translations
of whichever-the-**** books
you do or don't happen to respect, man.
Just remember we all just dudes, man, okay?
That's all, really; Just be cool, and we cool.
It's really very simple and could be easy.

Now, I beseech of thee to dig it, dudes:
yea, though it would surely seem
we are physically different dudes,
there's really just this one Dude
with a capitol muh'****** D, right?
That ******' Guy is really every-******'-thing else, man,
and we're all, like, little dude fractals and ****
aspiring to be spiraling out of his head and **** like that, man,
and Mr.Dr. Big Supreme Badass Cpt.******'Everything Dude's all like:
'Go for it, my dudes! ******' right! Rock on! Yeah!! Get some!'
and I'm here to ******' prove it, man,
but, I mean, we're all here already, dudes,
and that's really all the proof of my point I think I need:
it's the Dude that's ******' everywhere, all the ******' time, man,
and, like, we've just gotta recognize that ****, man,
and reflect it. We gotta respect that ****, you know, man?
It's, like, soo super ******' far out, man,
that it's really just super ******' far in, maaan!
It's all the same, dudes.
Dudes. Hear me out, dudes.
It's all just ******' fractals and crystals and vibrations n' ****, dude.
Reflections of Dude everywhere, dude.
I am Dude. We are Dude.
Dudes ******* abound, dude.
Keep bein' dudes, dudes.
Be excellent to each other. Party on, dudes.

Hey, woah man, what's that like?
I heard about that..
Pass that over here, dude, would'ya?
If you're into it, I'm curious...

..aww yeeeah.. thanks, man.
I appreciate it. Respect.

Now..
where was I..
****. I lost the trip, man. Oh well.
There was gonna be a point to that,
but I forget now. ****, man.
I feel like an idiot. I'm sorry, I just wasted all that time!
What were you even asking me?
I get a bit carried away at times.
Huh?
Oh, yeah, its'..uhh. about three-fifteenish!"
-Jesus/Krishna/Horus/Me?/Etc./[You?]