i crave it,
i endlessly fantasize,
but im a hypocrite,
my heart would abscise.

don’t say those three words,
don’t tell me.
im too afraid,
it’s just a hyperbole.

I love him and i love him so much,
In him,i see stars and sunshine of love,
Lighting my heart day and night
Making my days pass fast
In him I see a loving man,kind hearted,
Actually all the good adjectives describe him  

Since i fell in love with him, the world stopped..
I fell into a new world with just two people
Him and i
Everyday,every second i want to remind him,
How lucky i am,
How happy he makes me feel,
How much i appreciate him,
And the hows are endless....

I burst with love just with the thought of my love
I feel the red hot flames and my heart skips with joy
I feel safe in his arms anytime he hugs me,
Even just a little touch from him tingles me..
When he comes close to me,i feel his breath enter my soul,
Whenever you tell me those sweet words,
I get chills up my spine
I trully adulate this man
Him and only him is the love of my life
Its your love I cherish, above everything

Some are too good at goodbyes,
A couple of letters,
A couple of confessions,
Some words like " I'll miss you"
Some like "we'll meet soon"
Some photos with moments stuck in them,
Some times that have gone so far
You don't hope you'll be able to see a thing like that,
But you still hold your head up,
You pretend you are brave,
Brave enough to say a seven letter word 'goodbye'.

It doesn't seem so big,
Yet means something you know you won't be able to bear,
But you keep a heavy stone on your heart and you say it,
You feel it but don't exactly realize,
That your paths have been separated
And the time is gone,
Even though you'll see sun everyday
You will still feel cold
Like that cool wind and blues that winter bring and blows,
Or those cold winds that follows rain,
Or that touch that autumn brings,
With that de trop sadness,
After all, all we need is something to hope for,
To put our hearts into,
Our blood to run though them,
But dont forget the most deserving gets the most undeserved,
They will have to live with or without hopes,
In this hollow, cold, dark world.

Of course I love you.
How could I not?
No one has ever cared
as deeply as you,
Held me
as tightly as you,
Made me feel
as strongly as you.

First loves can be complicated,
because how do you know?
I was always scared of being the girl who said
I love you out of the blue,
two weeks into dating because
maybe she doesn’t understand what love really is.

I smile at every text you send me,
but that’s not love.
My heart skips a beat every time I see you,
but that’s not love.
I close my eyes every time you laugh,
        trying to memorize that sound.
But that’s not love.

No.
Love is sitting on bathroom floors
trying to remember how to breathe
while you wipe away my tears and hold my water bottle to my lips.
Love is the peace I feel when you hug me
and my cheek is pressed against your chest
and for that single moment all of the voices in my head go quiet.
Love is the small details remembered,
the red flags caught,
like when you bring me a sandwich wrapped in foil
because I forgot to eat and I mentioned it was my favorite once before.
Love is the contentment of
lying in your arms, watching movies,
talking,
listening as your breathing evens out.
Love is the perfect comfort of falling asleep tangled up with you.
Love is no longer looking for an escape,
because the world has finally showed me its beauty.

Curious that its beauty is named after you.
It has a messy apartment and shows up late to work.
Its bones crack and moan beneath shea-butter skin,
but it refuses to get them looked at
because, really, it’s fine.
(pop).
Beauty forgets to eat more often than not,
sometimes for days at a time,
and it really ****** me off.
It speeds and makes questionable jokes,
but it always has a comeback and a laugh to share.
Beauty takes the world’s ugliness in its stride,
but is not afraid of honesty.
It snores, but it won’t steal the covers.
Curious, that it is named after you.

So, here we are.
This time my three words are not “I am sorry.”
I am not sorry that I love you.
I am not sorry that I fell headfirst,
way too fast,
because god ****** how could they have made someone as perfect as you.
I am sorry if I overwhelmed you,
but I am not sorry that I said what I said,
and I do not take it back.

I don’t expect you to say it back,
Because that’s not what love’s about.
I am sharing my love for you,
Not expecting yours for me.
I’ve come close to saying it so many times,
Offhanded, like it was perfectly normal.
And I remember the exact moment when I realized,
With your kiss on my forehead and my arm draped over you,
That saying “I’m fond of you too” was an understatement.
I love you.
I fell asleep that night and had a dream that I said it.
And when I woke up the next day,
As I drove the two hours back to my house,
I realized that it was true.
I was terrified,
But I realized that I love you.

I stood,
   I shouted,
       And I was heard.
I came down in the field of heroes
       Loving myself just that one inch more,
   one inch that makes all the difference.
And now I lay, in soft grassy arms,
   leaving behind the noise and pain,
gaining in love what I lost in lust
   And concluding the dance started
so long ago.

Revealing twisted thoughts that emerge in my head at night
Needlessly pouring my heart to you
The cold chaotic chess game that lingers
I wonder if you feel disturbed sometimes too

Imprisoned by my Addiction'

The harmless things that causes an addiction that consumes, like cancer,

See my confession, about how my addictions are destroying my health, my life, my relationships and everything in between, the beginning absent of odor,
Spinning around my mortal being are vibrant healthy hues; yellow, blues and greens,

Thrusting me, flying sky high, only to nose dive instantly,
Wishing it to remain, My passion, my comfort one in the same; words that must be written.
We're programmed to all 3, reading, writing and pursuing passions ...important qualities to own,

Somehow captivating me,
I hardly eat, much less drink,
I'm overwhelmed to express thoughts into words,

Another relationship dies as the neglected ink dries.
A pale unnoticed ghost while present or maybe not,
Maybe my lover, the warden.

I come up for breath only long enough not to drown, reality hits, the ghost disappears,
I don't search, seek or try to persuade them to return,
I say every time, just let me get these words scribbled to vent, then after, I'll go and gather them up,

Compares to Christmas morn, green, red, gold, silver and blue,
the house, the tree, the gifts,
The house is adorned with eccentric polished crowns of refined jewels, interest fills you while rushing to open the shiny gifts, Uncontrollable enchanting words, enslaving, shoving the gifts against the glittered wall,

Chained in the same prison 24 hours later, exhausted, nearly comatose, I wrestle the sleep, becoming feeble, compelled to sleep, only to suddenly awaken, lunatic mode, panic stricken crazed rush, forced sleep, words got neglected, when there could have been much more!

Welcome to my addiction, the dark hole where words incarcerate tempting thoughts,
What, change the situation, you said to me? I'm handcuffed to pens that bleed, beleaguered by enticing verbiage.
~Venjencie Arnold -SacredInkedBlood
.
My life now. Writing, reading and research. I cant get enough. © 11 days ago, Venjencie Arnold   addiction • colors • prison • word • beleaguered