What if I made paranoia my best friend? Took every hint and watched the drama play out till the end, Send every being I meet into a spiral of everything they ever wanted and show that its weak to use infinity to imagine your own demise...

The skies opened and this one Sunbeam hit me just right, Ill never fight the paranoia again, it basically gives me all of Fear's moves before it makes them, and to take them in, to win the battle against fear before it even started...

Yeah, I forget the black dot in the Yin Yang, that darkness is never banging on the front door, that whisper telling me everything that darkness has in store and what it's all for...

The core of this little limerick is that though paranoia pin ****** the bubble of naivety, it can make the map of your infinity once you recognize the divinity of the dark things that exist to make you brighter...

She told me a hidden story.
A story tells a secret about life.

I was trying to understand the whole concept
, but it was complex and tricky.

I was wondering

How can I understand the secret of life without understanding the meaning of life?

She left a message says
don’t try to understand the life
Try to explore the hidden story inside of you to make your life meaningful.

Follow me into my world for a moment
I know I can't explain myself
As much as I try
I'm beyond broken that I forgot
How to even breathe
These words choke me from the inside out
I want to show you how I feel but
I can't even move an inch
From this empty hole in my bed
******* me deeper and deeper

Every day I try and try to just try
But I can't anymore
You are the only light in this darkness that is me
When you learn to live on your own
And rely only on yourself to survive
You forget how to trust
In anyone else, let alone your own mind

After feeling abandoned so many times
And fighting the knife that my own hand bares
My conditioned mind cannot be trusted
What I feel may not exist so i feel nothing instead
It's safer to care less and drink more
Until the bottle takes me under
Six feet into paradise
Where I feel
Nothing
Where I am
Nothing.

But I open my eyes and see you
Staring into my soul, trying to understand
You understand as much as you can
But im a broken person
A mirror shattered and reflecting
Someone who you love
But if you only knew..
How could you love someone like me
Someone with nothing to lose
With nothing to offer you
And I see the pain it causes
The pain I cause
And keep causing

In your eyes the truth lives
They say What your mouth can't speak
I can feel it through your warm skin
Laying against my icy heart
I know you want to leave

Humans are capable of the biggest hypocritical ideas.
They don't do it on purpose
Yet we do it.

Some love others more than they love themselves.
Well, I believed I also did
Yet it is not quiet so.

Think well about it, I love until I bleed and even more after that!
Well, I believe in love more than most do
Yet, should I quit my dreams for it, should you?

                               Would I blow my brains out, would you?
                               Is this even a question you're allowed to make?

I believe, I've learn, I've seen
And love is learning to love another by learning to love yourself,
Love is synching your dreams with others' dreams,
Love is bending and straining to reach out to the other,
                                                      to share the pain
                                                      to lick the bruises
                                                      to laugh whole in harmony because you found IT
                                                      to be insane but never feel suicidal.

To love is to burn together
Not to blow apart for one another.

Going on forever
unreachable
continuous
never-ending
a concept
precieved to exist
yet never known how large
presumed to be a solution
but never known how far must be traveled

Concept: We climb, laughing, to the top of the tallest baobab tree in the whole grove. I can run my fingers through the clouds passing above us and the great blue of the sky blends into the enchanting colour of your eyes. With hands intertwined, we jump and are carried by the breeze. I know you are afraid of heights, but we are so safe together, so safe.

I'm in the ocean
Sun is going down
I'm laying on a door, floating
The warmth is hugging me
I feel my heartbeat in my fingertips

My life shattered but won't give out
My wife coughs out; words leave her mouth
And it's a no, i was so ready to go
Didn't we say so? All those times we played? Didn't we always find a way? Oh
And look how she spares her pride, tears in her eyes; she's dead inside
And from my chest - no reply; but sparks on wires my heart replies
Nerves that can't form
Words to reply
Let me expire; send word to mum and sis; become a miss
I hate when you see me like this
Every wait weights upon our bliss
It's all sorts of horrific; let me be specific
Wouldn't it be terrific
To just let me go; remember we were just so
Soul to soul and oh so whole
Not all of these charts and missives
I liked you in control but i hate me this submissive
Now i've hit the wall; time comes for us all
It's unacceptable to contemplate my fall
Now be swift and hit the switch;
It's on the wall
If it would please you i always believed in you;
you know it's true
Please don't look appalled
Me and you were always one
Now it's all for one
And one for all

.......