everyday you made me feel worthless,
you were my kryptonite,
you made me the person I am today,
broken and lifeless

I'm Aurianna.
I'm so many things actually, it all depends on who you ask.
To myself... at times I am destruction.
My emotions destroy.
I am hurt.
I am only 18, who did you want me to be?
You abused me.
You destroyed me for a time, and yet still all the time.
I want to be free.
Did I build these chains link by link or did you help me?
You beat me physically while she beat me mentally.
The perfect destructive team you two made.
All without realizing.
All without each other.
Yet at times I am strong, I stand tall to protect others.
Although a single person can raise their voice to me and I shatter into a million little pieces.
I never amount to other peoples expectations of me, so in return, I am looked down upon.
My whole life really.
The secret abuse that led to many failures.
I have so many problems that I cannot fathom enough to put into words.
I fail at expressing how I feel because I don't know how.
You never taught me how.
They ask me whose fault it is that I am like this.
I say it's mine.
Why?
Because I'm eighteen.
In the eyes of the law, I am officially an adult.
Responsible for only myself.
Am I falling apart yet again?
Or have I never actually been quite pieced together?
Do I accept your screaming, dehumanizing comments and threats for the hope that someday, just someday I will be granted parental affection?
Or do I not deserve that either?
Do I deserve better?
Because I really don't know.
You're sorry... that I know.
You have said it many times before.
Only to turn around and do the same things you've already apologized for.
Feeling is what makes me human, but too much of anything is cancer to the heart.
Your words hurt me.
They always have.
Worse than any beating I have and will endure.
Your words are my cancer.
I am fighting for my freedom.
With or without you.
For I have always been alone.
I have found my strength in that.
Because I am me.

Had I been there
never lately
everything is
ever changing
everything is
over rated
a unique sense
of desperation
nothing less could
satiate this
nothing less could
alleviate us

Don't want any songs of a gun,
don't want to hurt anyone,
don't want any endless run
no more. I've had enough. I'm done.

No more indomitable tease,
no more spirits in chains like these,
no more falling on our knees,
don't want any war, no more, please.

Don't want any debt to the danger,
don't want a family picture with me as a stranger,
don't want to be haunted down by a ranger
no more. This is major.

No more unreasonable favours,
no more not knowing the food's flavours,
no more fighting with the neighbours,
don't want any more bodies arranged in layers.

Don't want any legion just for feeding my pride,
don't want any more crossroads inside,
don't want my happiness to be denied
no more. Too many people had died.