It is against my nature to believe in a Creator
After all
I am not human
I am not skin and bone and blood
It is cogs and wires and rods that sustains me
Electricity and fuel, thick and golden
I do not believe in a God

I look around at my world,
A mere husk of a greater civilisation
A ravaged universe of pain and suffering

I do not believe in a God
But if I did
I wonder
Would He be watching the world burn?


–––An Android Awakening: a Memoir in Verse

@toopragmaticbookworm

Heaven can descend
down to the dust
reaching out
to a good heart.
Even the hell burns
doesn't want
the evil inside.

it's me isn't it?!
i speak -
     things
                 fall
                         apart
i don't mean it -
      i'm
              covered
                               in
                                      scars
i hold my tongue -
     i'm
             losing
                         who
                                   you
                                             are -
                                           you're
                                           losing
                                             me
i say i'm sorry -
     it's
           not
                   my
                           fault -
                 but
                   i
               know
         it
   is
i walk away -
    leave
                the
                          things
                               ­          i
                                              tore
            ­                                             apart
                                                            to
 ­                                              c
                                        r
                     ­                        a
                                  c
                           ­          k
                               l
                      e
and
          b
                    u
 ­                                 r
                              ­                 n

can i apologise again?
     no.

       the
          damage
                       is
                         done

you've
found
the
p
r
o
b
l
e
m.

I wish
to catch your fever

To burn
To burn
To completely melt
into the almond of your eyes

Your frigid heart made
mine weep with longing

But I shall keep burning
for you till you suffocate

Your kiss leaves an acid ring that devours my skin
This isn't what I had in mind when you asked me to sin

Your taste is like cold ash sitting on my tongue
You said swallowing fire was supposed to be fun

You tore me apart and never quite pieced me back together
Now I'm hooked on your burn and I'll need it forever

Running your fingers down my arms I lean into your touch
But you always back away and laugh claiming I want too much

I'm addicted to the way your hands mar my flesh
I'm chasing your love like I'm chasing my death

If I could leave you I would but I'm masochistic
If I escaped your torture I know that I'd miss it

The proximal end of my soul is no longer safe
Decay has dilapidated the space
The raveled fragments fester
Leaves wilting with vinegar burns
Where I have tried to **** the infestation
And found I was only killing myself.

I can remember when my mind was softer, but not safer,
Hiding in the hallway to the den
Watching the scene of the desperate father
pulling his dead son from burned rubble
My child mind imagining
Blooms of orange around my bedposts,
tendrils of cinder and smoke,
Placing my hand against the back of the door
To feel the phantom heat.

And now I hold the matches to my own bed
The quiet comforter can only stifle them for a moment
There is not enough weight to press
These dreams out of myself
Maybe I still crave heat because it is the pain that is also comfort
It is the fear and the foment, the ailment and the aid
It is my body asking for enough feeling
To know it is alive and safe
While my mind is screaming fire
in a crowded
theatre.

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
I might burn your body,
then illuminate every dark space
and make it bright;
even if it doesn't reach everything,
at least we haven't gone astray
for a while.

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
we would burn at every celebration,
in birthday or wedding cakes.

If I were a fire, and you were my candle,
we would be a farewell gift,
and leave a scar on every melt.

There's coldness all around me
Everything is so far away
Light years of empty space
Between you and me
And I'm burning up my soul
Just to feel a little warmer
Burning up my soul
So you might see me from over there
Might see the flickering fire
Of my broken soul
I'm losing myself
I'm drowning
All alone in the middle of an ocean of coldness
I'm losing
But I don't care no more
So I pour another glass of gasoline
Into my burning soul

If insanity is truly a blissful ignorance,
then take my mind so my heart can be free,
set it on fire and gift the ashes to the wind.
If I shall burn, then I burn like Icarus,
euphorically and foolishly in love.