You accepted me,
for who I am,
you chose me,
over anyone else;

you are my brother,
I never had,
I need your action,
Where ever I am;

I made you angry,
I made you sad,
You stayed along,
The entire way;

There is no word,
to describe your soul,
All I can say I love you all.

'As toddlers we sat on that
timber floor, playing like wolves.
You tugged on my collar,
lifted my chin and made a promise
that we would be brothers
till death did you part.
But death didn’t do a part
in breaking up our pack.
Throughout the years you taught me
how to hunt and gather
my props, you taught me
how to front and swagger,
you wanted me to be at my best
before you left. But you never told me that
you had to leave.
Then when you started to stray, I tried to trail
your footprints, thinking that you were just
past that tree line waiting for me to catch up.
But the farther that I went, the farther
we grew a part. I can forgive you
for never giving me a warning
but those years that I fought
as a lone wolf still haunt me.

© Matthew Harlovic

Today, on my birthday

My dad texts me
Something loving
About the day I was born
And I think to myself
I never really considered that
As an actual experience of his
Until I was on mushrooms
Watching a movie
A couple weeks ago
I wonder what that was like
He must really love me

I have KFC buffet lunch
With my friend's family
They have more casual
Conversation than mine
More fun, more enjoyable
I don't really know
What to do about that
But it makes me sad
And I like this family
Even though it's not perfect

I say goodbye to my friend
He's my brother
We have the same birthday
Being around his kids was nice
Though it was just a few minutes
They are carefree
Even though there's **** in their lives
He gives me a good hug
Something I've missed
And will miss again
I wish we lived in the same city

I get on a plane
I hope to sit next to the perfect girl
It wouldn't matter anyway
Since I'm too angry and hurt
I'm seated next to a guy
With slightly bad breath
I put on some music
And work on a poem
**** it all
I'm not ready, am I

I wonder who she will be
If she's anyone at all
I'm severely pessimistic
At 30 years old
About finding that connection
About healing to where I'm ready
It's not like I have forever
A late bloomer in life
Except for that marriage thing
That didn't work out

On my birthday
Am I supposed to think
About this kind of stuff?
Everyone would say no
But maybe
There's no better time
Why do birthdays have to be happy anyway?
It might not be the happiest
But I'm making it one to remember

Look at how fast they grow,
the last you saw them was in a pram,
and now they are as tall to walk on the ramp.

They were the ones to ask you what to do,
they looked for your guidance when they were two.

look how fast they have grown!
now they tell you what to do when you're on your own.

They look after you like you looked after them,
they are now the guardians that you were to them.

I'm talking about the little ones who used to crawl,
They would make you cry and gauge at your eye *****.

Each of them a menace for all ounce of their breath,
To pull your hair like they were meant to stretch!

They are my baby brothers who I had sworn to protect,
But now they are strong enough to fly out the nest.