Last night here was a play
In it a middle aged man recalls his past
How his friends came to him like a parade
How her first encounter with love was
How long do those memories last?

Like the man, a wave of memories struck me
I played the man
Had a lover in hand

I was the man

Seven years have passed

No signs of them disappearing anytime soon.

I thought about us tonight
I remembered your voice on the other end of the line,
3 hours never passed so fast ,
I still remember the promises of forever,
the sick joke you told but we never laughed together

I remember my laughter,
was reluctant to believe my own thoughts of maybe you were just  like the others,

Remember?  when I told you that this was never here to last but you told me that this is all you want

Remember? said this was going too fast & you assured me that I'll never ever get hurt

Remember? I still held scars from past hurts but blindly followed my heart  as you told me that the heart wants what it wants

Remember?  you called me your only girl while you held a cluster in your hands with high mighty disregard

Remember?  laid  myself out to you as an unholy sacrifice  and you picked on each blemish like a predator on its prey

Remember ? the unanswered texts as you missed my calls purposely and I loosed my mind on whether you are fine or not

Remember?  that last call when you said my name with in a dreary tone I wasn't accustomed to.

Remember,  the unspoken words hanged between us like a noose waiting for a neck to tighten around to as you said the words: its not you , its me. And  I felt the truth crush into me like a meteor crushing  the  solid ground

Remember? even after all that I still chased after you
Like an outcast finding a home I still  came to you
Then you showed me what I really meant to you
And I swore to forget you as much as i once loved you
But here I am still learning how to unlove you.

There's a day you'll  remember that someone once loved you .

I fall in love with broken men.
**** tragedies ****** me with sin.
Handsome cloaks of invisibility,
Obscure and trap in vain utility.
Hero and martyr of all your stories,
Vengeance sought for selfish glory.
Innocents injured from their quarry.

I fall in love with broken men.
Doors lock me out, keeps keys hidden.
Knocking patiently with open arms,
Getting too close trigger his alarms.
Suspicious eyes peek inside.
Skeletons spooked, he runs and hides.
Spyglass searches to glimpse vulnerability,
Weak boundaries highlight insincerity.
Pacifying chit-chat on future home owning  
Facing real offer, reveals he lied for a showing.

I fall in love with broken men.
Eclipses excite those worlds they darken.
The moon shines brightest in the night.
Warm pulses beat faster, from dusk’s frost bite.
Fooled by familiar shadows, say devil I know
Not friend but foe, they rob me of my glow.

I fall in love broken men.
Mosaic glued parts, now misshapen
Pirated sea glass left ashore by a hostile.
Cut mermaids who seek a love note in a bottle.
Shatter lines leak, drips proof of last traumas.    
Messy flaws teach wisdom, beauty from drama.

I fall in love with broken men.
Divorced of dreams and magic forgotten.
Shut eyes to memories to keep pain asleep.
Nightmares of happy times, disturb the peace.
Drugs pacify crying but fears never cease.
Haunted by ghost stories of witches and fools,
Masks hide his scars, but phantoms are cruel.

The truth of the matter is this
You never really were there
She gave you her everything
And still, your heart was not sincere
You tortured her deeply
And sadly left her in the dark
All of your trust has been thrown out of the window
You have broken her heart

Your name is just another word without meaning to me.
I don’t miss hearing your lies.
I don’t even feel the butterflies anymore.

Your name is just another word without meaning to me.
You have lost your spark.
Like a dying star in the vast darkness of space.

Your name is just another word without meaning to me.
You’ve vacated my heart, and my dreams too.
I no longer have sweet dreams about you.

Your name is just another word without meaning to me.
I will find myself, no matter how lost I feel.
I will find true love, no matter how broken I am.

Your name is just another word without meaning to me.

i remember all the dates, of when i starting liking you, when i loved you, when i was in love with you, the day you kissed me, the day you grabbed my hand, the day you surprised me

i guess i should start to remember the days i fell out of love, the days i wished youd kiss me and you didnt, the days all i needed was your hand and mine and you refused, the weeks you couldnt spare a moment of your time for me

i am not sure the love will fade, but i know it no longer envelopes me, you no longer make me feel safe, wanted, and cared for

how could i continue to be in love with you when i am not even sure you care about me, or want to talk to me, you make no effort for me

i guess there is no problem staying after falling out of love, as you were never in love anyway

as the emotions begin to pour out of me
it seems to feel like an eternity
wrapped around your finger
the thoughts seem to linger
with the brief touch of heart
and the sudden urge to depart
the attachment is only temporary
but, let's go back to february
where it almost seemed less scary
though the temptation is urging
i feel it emerging
the overwhelming fear
leaves me with no time to hear
how you're not like the rest
though unable to be expressed
take me back to february
where all feelings were unnecessary
take me back to february
where thoughts were only imaginary
hand in hand
living in our own wonderland
- february
a.m.

He couldn’t understand that my heart was already shattered,
and no matter how much he tried to glue the parts together with sticky words,
tiny bits out of his sight went  missing,
scattered on the dusty floor of habit and weariness.