I laugh in rooms where silence grows,
A cracked facade that no one knows.
My ribs are cages, rusted tight,
Still I shine in borrowed light.

A travesty in moving skin,
But look how wide I draw the grin.
Don’t ask me why the echoes sting,
It hurts to smile at everything.

It's a broken frame now
But it used to be the most beautiful view
Art isn't born without intention
The fear and anger mixed make it pretentious
Loved a picture because of its beauty, pots and flower
Blamed the person who made it
A broken mirror.
It showcases itself as a beautiful victim
Making sanity lose itself; it's a verbatim
Quiet souls try hard to fix the broken
Putting bandages over its narrations
Letting the shards cut the flesh
Saying, “it's what makes fear feel fresh”
Night was awaiting,
You left it complaining
The perfect picture in a wooden frame
How come it let itself be framed?
An easel wasn't its job after all
It felt the pressure of worlds and broken hearts.
Love was being painted on top
Envy was the only emotion for its wrath
You should've told me you were as fragile as a glass
The tension phrases of “Sorry” can't fix the broken pieces of glass

How will the guilt go?
When the souls of the past bubble up to sorrows

Beneath now lives, what once was
Maybe not was, just never been
It was a fire, lit
A passion, lived

Now to be buried beneath the sand
Boiling land, unreached by hand
It burns to the core,
Once I wanted, now no more

The earth would have to crack
From lightning or thunder
Not from rage,
But remembrance.

Within the nature of things
You can perhaps hear a beat
Your heart, skipping
With the silence, once lived.

I lived in a vast darkness.
A fragile silence that even choked sobs could break.
But the black glass of quiet shattered,
When you battered the door.
Its hinges screamed,
Just as you did.
I cowered in the corner when I heard the bottle explode,
From where you threw it.

Then it was a blur.
Threats to give me a "real reason" to cry.
More glass smashed against the oak, before it collapsed onto the tile floor.

A sudden clarity filled me as I heard the click of a lock.
You had trapped me here.
The dark I had once longed to be in became a cage.

I screamed.
Begged.
Clawed the wood until my fingers bled and the paint peeled.
But you stomped away,
Leaving me in a suffocating blackness.

Time had passed differently then.
A day had become weeks,
But also a second.
Hunger consumed me and I was left to rot in my own filth.
The acrid smell from the bottles on the other side of the door burning my nose.

I don't know how long I was in there.
I don't know if I'll ever find out.
I don't know if I'll ever be the same again.

I still sleep with a light on,
And I still sleep with my room door open.
And I refuse to open the hall closet
That you put me in as a punishment,
For accidentally breaking a small vase.

I long to write beautiful words,
That convey love and things like birds.
Poetry inspired by life,
Stories and tales of overcoming strife.

Instead, the words flow from darkness,
Metaphors oozing harshness.
Words inspired by pain and death.
Conveying my struggles through every shallow breath.

Songs and ballads about glowing angels,
Not demons and monsters portraying dangers.
Hopefully, one day flowers will start to sprout,
From the dying fire, I only knew about.

Words of life and glittering hope,
Emerging from darkness, my blindness will grow.
Music of old heartbreak transforming slowly,
Echoing through my paper and healing mellowly.

im tempted --
to dial your number,
to send that text,
to drive to yours,
to run into your arms.

im tempted.
because i miss you.
i miss your warmth,
your scent --
that cold vanilla
and lavender scent
that was yours,
and only yours.

but most of all
im tempted
to just cry.
crying over you
sounds like a waste of tears.
but it'll just 
have to do.
because for now,
its all i have.
and you're not here.

...and i don't think
you'll be coming
back.

I pretend love songs are about me

I'm done falling in love with men, it's time for me to fall in love with God

He's been in love with me all this time. Wanting only my heart