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empty seas Feb 2019
yes, i’m fine
just wait a minute for the tears
to stop passing by

i honestly thought i was going to last a month in Australia without having a breakdown, but I guess not
it was in the middle of class and i cried for so long, I feel so embarrassed
jaida Feb 2019
As it rains my emotions match
As tears fall from my eyes and i catch my breath trying to stay quiet
As the sky turns dark grey i creep my way into the clouds and watch the water fall from sky to ground
As i hear the thunder burst into loud booms my heart beats like a drum
As i feel the drops on my skin i begin to think i am the rain within
I am the clouds that have the power to cry out loud
I am the sky whos as pretty as a butterfly
But i must stay quite cause the storm goes by
If you dont understand this poem ill explain.
I am the the sky, rain, clouds, storm and thunder. when i cry the sky cries and as i get mad a storm forms. when im beginning to calm down the storm passes and the sky will then become blue and beautiful like a gorgeous blue butterfly.
-Everybody will once have a bad day on a rainy day but good days only await-
Stu Feb 2019
Who do you call when your brain is on fire?
When sunshine strips
begin to fade from the bed sheets,
And you find, yet again,
That you've allowed a day's worth of stability
To deconstruct itself.
For a while, a silhouette you will remain,
Chasing the origin of light,
Only to fall into the one thing blocking it.

What happens when a brain is burnt out?
Drawing out breaths that latch to the cold air,
When you stand with weary muscles,
A title wrapped around your forehead,
And a frustration festering.
Holding close to the last remaining memories,
Of security, of solidarity, of purity.
Losing yourself to yourself,
Costs less and less each time.

When do you decide a brain needs fixing?
When the ride home is full of regret,
And your legs cannot stop shaking.
A miserable night will be swept under the rug,
So dogear the scripture you spoke belligerently,
And the world will suddenly seem small.
A breakdown happens when most needed.
A breakthrough happens when least expected.

How do you fix a brain?
Probably, the day without questioning it all,
Will be the day you figure the most out.
If we can get a mixed up mind to settle,
Then the first thing to learn would
Be the acknowledgment of a new, better life.
We will all survive our demanding brains,
if only someone will show us the way,
Will someone please show us the way,
Before another brain is ignited?
For an old friend.
pia Feb 2019
I put these thoughts
inside my head
I grip my wrists
'till they turn red
I grit my teeth
I bite my tongue
don't say a word
to anyone

my heart constricts
I close my eyes
I count to when
these feelings die

the darkness
does not
prolong their
stay
I get to
live another
day
Lieke Jan 2019
I can't stop
Accelerating my the second
Salty tears are flooding my eyes
Air stuffing my windpipe
Each breath is spiralling upwards


I feel it all at once
Years of hungry pain rushing into me
The sorrow is starving for my cries
So it pulls and twists and stabs


My voice is muted
Death is craving me more and more
Longing to meet again
To bleed me dry
And drain me away
21 November, 2018
Stu Jan 2019
In translucent hands
he reads a scripture belonging only to him,
and from memory, he'll rebuild his own illumination.
I feel my bones growing! I feel the warm sun! I am finally satisfied with my own reflection!
James Jan 2019
vicodin is a long term friend
with a warrent for my liver
and my life.

1:43am
we had an appointment
and god only knows
i could never be late for such
a chalky sense of closure.

and the young paramedic
who burst my vein and scolded me
could only pray his words
meant more than the hum of streetlights
as my body exchanged existence
for the embodiment of thought
and a brittle concept of my phrenic nerve

which was never more at peace than when
my lungs remembered the luxury
of standstill traffic

of weighted morals

of crushing insecurity's release
and the resulted ballooning
as squashed egos cry, and the garage door screams as it's yanked open

horrid sounds and tortured motion on both accounts

spiritual cataracts torn free
commercialized visions now blur

as the orange bottle morphs from
vicodin to paracetamol

equalized views in my bloodstream
as the sheet metal ceiling shifts to plaster tiles

to a TV set

to a bathroom mirror

to an agonized woman next door

to the back windows where my mother cries where no one but the whole world can watch

to a blue plastic mattress and a first floor window covered with bars

to a pale green day room with a caged TV
where there was bleach in the stomach of a nine year old

where the dying took their resurrecting breath between games of spoons

where the hinges screamed and blood pressure was taken three times a day

this where the living came to kiss death goodbye

until next time
Yuki Jan 2019
I have been trying to heal
by tearing myself
to pieces so far
and isn’t that
also a start?
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