I haven't written anything in a while because
my shaky muse is just
a rogue gunshot from a pair of very uncertain hands
and I'm trying hard to swallow the barrel
but my stomach is sapped and struggles and quivers to hold
anything substantial down. My body is just a side-effect
of something so painfully small and
I'm learning that my obsession with
heart palpitations through smoke and stubbornness
makes me recoil in the daylight.

My eyes are growing old and decrepit
when I stop seeing things as stories to unfold,
and instead view them as a very dull reflections of my surroundings.

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School is a bore
I wish there was more
The people around me
Feels like a wide open sea
It's hard to swim out there
With so much to bear
I simply wish it was easy
Instead I feel kinda queasy
Sometimes it's fun
But I still want to run
To my sweet escape
Even with my expression of gape

Aquarius, why must you make **** hard for yourself? What are you trying to prove by not flushing the ******* toilet? No one cares. You call yourself a rebel, when in truth, you're just a water bearing fool with preposterous ideas of some futuristic utopia that looks a lot like Yu-Gi-Oh!  Because of your idiotic rebellion, you seem to smash on about nothing really, declaring the world is in shambles, while scrying your turds for all the answers to humanity. And with such rebellion attitude, the "I don't care, I'll **** in the woods!" Again, no one gives a ****. If you'd rather **** in the woods and run around naked like a feral child poser, be my guest. Why don't you change your name to Nell why you're at it and forget your native language altogether since your such a rebel. I hate to break it to you Einstein, but it's all been done before.

Advice: What's the point? You're not going to listen. Have fun ******* in the woods and remember, we don't care if you know who we are. Truly. Ur **** is waiting, *chicka chicka chickabee.

It feels a little like knowing that you're the steady choice,
Not quite spontaneous or risky enough to grab their attention in the first
Moment,
But warm and always there
People take advantage of that, falling in and out of love, but always Knowing that there's the soft warmth waiting for them at home
I fear that if I ever marry, that my husband will stray, seeking out more
Adventure while trusting in the quiet commitment of me

The chair wheels are caught
On the carpet and I don't
Want to speak aloud.

Where went wonder,
Magic and thunder
Wonder pulled asunder,
My miracles sunk under
Faster than floating castles
Those rascals got chills,
Their wide eyed wills
Thwarted with skill
And practiced 'goodwill'
Slowly filled by pills that ****
I'm I'll.

Petty, weak, pithy,
Silly society, limp and flaccid
Our goals and dreams
Scratched with acid, I'll pass it.
Thrashing, clashing, crashing
I'll break these chains
Breaking our bent brains
Bringing pain, no gain
All gains
I'm scared, stunted, strained
Stained, not changed
Brain-maimed I'm afraid
To stay, say what I see
I see deceit, pretty and neat
Row on row on row
In cages we built below.

Those C.O.D kills ****
Not them, but us,
Oh, less, less of us
No trust, we rust and cuss
Our silly grins grimly thin
Flowing through holes holes we made
In our soul, berefit
Leeched of life and full of ****.

Dreams were taken, or left,
And ambition theft.
Nothing to reach for, to dream for
To clutch at
To rip your limits, tear your seams,
What has been was never seen.
Our stunted dreams slowly wean.

People make no sense,
Too much confidence for competence
And social stigma indents
Empty houses, homeless, and rent
Knowledge, not power,
-but freedom gone sour
Knowing you can't change the cruel
Its in the rules to be a fool!
Its......cool?

If we are the world,
oceans are curdled.
Stars are waning, fading
Dropping from skies like dead flies
They burn up, out, and die
Choked in the smoke we provoked
Insidious ideals appeal;
A dream stealing spiel with zeal
Leeching you like your wallet the day
Of the 'no pay' car unpaid.
And now, with nowhere to go
And nowhere to stay,
Not even dreams left,
They took that away