#borderline poems on Hello Poetry

Kristie Townsend Sep 2016

www.facebook.com/myjourneythroughmadness

CUTTING THE TIES THAT BIND
So I cut myself with a knife
just to see if I can still feel anything in this pathetic life
But I feel nothing at all
as I watch my crimson blood fall
I score my skin, deeper and deeper, push the knife in
nothing..... not even a sting...absolutely nothing
I frantically seek a virginal place I can carve, cut away my hate
self loathing, disgust, as I look at myself, what a ******* state
Waiting to faint, as my blood seeps and escapes
but as if mocking me, I have to wait
relief comes at a price, a deadly cost
and reminds me of all that i've lost
tired and sleepy, waiting for death to collect me
I've planned for no one to save me, finally be free
one last slice, just to ensure
deep across artery, my blood pumps no more

My Journey Through Madness
#illness #self-harm #selfharm #mentalhealth

Written by Kristie Townsend

#self #self-harm #mental #health #personality #warning #trigger #borderline

Ashley Mellinger Sep 2016

tell me you love me

tell me you love me.
say it louder.
convince me that you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when I'm screaming at you,
even when I'm crying in your arms,
even when I destroy myself before your very eyes.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when my hair is a mess in the morning,
even when I haven't showered and I look like trash,
even when I'm still in my pajamas,
and it's three in the afternoon.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when my eyes are bloodshot,
even when my voice is gone,
even when I lie straight to your face.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when I don't know who I am,
even when I text you in the middle of the night,
even when I can't love myself.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when I double, triple, quadruple text you,
even when I message you on every app,
even when I tell you my true feelings in between memes.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
even when I can't process my thoughts,
even when I can't say what I mean,
even when I stutter when I talk.
tell me you love me.

tell me you love me.
say it louder.
convince me that you love me.

I was going to go scream at my boyfriend about how he's getting into a big mess by dating me, I'm not worth his time, he's just going to get hurt, blah blah blah. but instead, I wrote this because, quite frankly, it's what I need. I need him to tell me he loves me.

#love #boyfriend #bpd #mine #borderline #mywriting

Joanna Rose Aug 2016

My Demons

My demons cannot be found under my bed
They are not hiding in my closet
Or dwelling in my basement
They used to be there when I was young
I was thirteen years old when that changed
They slithered up my neck and gnawed through to my brain
Curling around it and sinking their claws in
Their eyes resting behind my eyelids
Their forked tongues controlling my words
They became a part of me
A disgusting ugly part
I gave them different names
Anxiety
Depression
Borderline
Anxiety is the smallest of the bunch
Crimson like blood
Always jumpy
Always ready to ruin my day
Depression is a real ******
Pitch black from head to toe
Beady eyes always filled with tears
He tells me daily that I’m not good enough
I believe him
Borderline is by far the ugliest
She is scaly and green with long sharp talons that are always covered in blood
Milky white eyes
She makes me blind to all of the love that I receive
Ugly mood swings and whispers of, “They’re going to leave,”
I wish she would just go away
I’m sixteen now and they’re still there
My brain being ripped to shreds by their talons
They are dark and they are evil but I will not let them **** me
I am a fighter
I can slay these demons
Even if it takes years
I know I have what it takes

Anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder. I've struggled with these three disorders for three years. There have been so many times where I've wanted to give up, but I haven't. If you're going through something like this please keep your head up. I know you can slay your own demons too, I believe in you.

#sad #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #demons #mentalhealth #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Alex's Pipe Dreams Jul 2016

Dissociation

you’re still here
your clothes are still in the closet
your ***** dishes in the sink
but your mind isn’t near
it’s living in a parallel world
with its monsters for company
i speak but you can’t hear
some other voices fill your head
and you listen to them instead
i reach out but it’s clear
it’s hard to drag you back
from that place you have imagined
where perhaps you want to stay
why return to all this fear
when you’ve got a better place
somewhere where you can heal
without all the disgrace
your face is blank, your eyes don’t shine
you look at me but you see through
yes, your body is still here,
but not you

#dream #life #imagination #reality #health #psychology #recovery #daydreaming #dissociation #borderline

Alex's Pipe Dreams Jul 2016

Oh, sweet thing

Oh, sweet thing,
What's making you sad?
Flowers grow upside down
Inside your restless head
Their invisible thorns
Won't let you leave your bed
Oh, sweet thing,
Always feeling blue
Can't you see the only one
Who's driving you mad
Is you?

#poem #sad #depression #life #pain #illness #sadness #hurt #bpd #borderline

Lavina Akari May 2016

Borderline

i am not a human, i am a mirror.
i have no identity, there is no 'me'
do you like what you see?

#bpd #personalitydisorder #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #pd

Aviendha Goodrich Jul 2016

3

The darkest cloud you've seen
Since the hurricane of sixteen
Lingers far over the horizon
And the sky darkens
The mind goes blank
All the polite smile and nods you've always faked

Murmurs of lovers
******* SCREAMING IN YOUR EAR
three thousand miles spread across my heart
Space and time is something I've learned
To never fear
I guess sometimes people need time apart

Please mind the gap
Between my mind and soul
Between space and time
Between light and dark.

I've gotten so fat
So tired and old-
Draw the line
Between alright and all hurt

#depression #mentalillness #explicit #bpd #borderline

Clown Jul 2016

Maze

A never ending maze.
An unsolvable case.

Cries in the night.
Cyanide should work out fine.

Such a long time
But I still can't see the light.

So alone in this world
I actually need the hurt.

Suicidal as hell
Ever since I fell.

And maybe I will cry tonight
Or maybe I will die tonight.

Copyrights: Sem Kristina

#suicide #depression #darkness #borderline

Kathryn Jun 2016

Days Like Today

Days like today I miss you the most
When it hurts inside and I have no one to talk to.
Today’s hard my anxieties crippling
I can feel it in the core of my chest
Spreading outward to my fingertips,toes,even the ends of my hair
I considered ripping the strains from my head
But what does that accomplish?
Nothing but bald spots and more regrets
The poisons already in my veins
We both know its a **** up in my head
Just a chemical **** up...
That's what I try and remind myself
On days like today...

#depression #imissyou #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder