There was a certain comfort in the time I spent
Sitting against a wall outside in the cold
They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death
But here’s what wishing you would is like

The trees sway with another chilling breeze
There’s a little stinging pain in my toes
Its been about 20 minutes out here
My feet are the only things cold
I'm thinking
Way too much about how the frost feels
My hands become red
a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers

Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel
I have no intention of leaving
I don’t want to
Maybe i’ll stay all night

An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides
My ankle is freezing
I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky
My breath can be seen in the air
I think about my mother finding my body
Bitten blue with winter

2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache
Its an interesting feeling
Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it
I don’t want to be here anymore
Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night
But here, in front of my so called home
Filled with my so-called family
I’d like to be staying somewhere else
Somewhere where they aren’t
Somewhere where the people who care about me
Are all far far away
And if I die, they know in a few days
Not right away
If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card
And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone

So maybe I’ll just sit here
And let nature have its way with me
Because I'm not ready to go back in
And live in a “family”

I share my thoughts with you
The world's weight on my back
Romantic delusions spin
Afraid to face the facts

Staring you down as you frown
Gaze right to the bone
Will sing you a lullaby
It makes you feel less alone

And nothing fixes my brokenness
Will exaggerate my claims
It will make me feel better
About the monster I became

The dark days drag their feet
Weeks blur into one
Time my greatest weakness
Will suffering never be done?

Even more sorrowful than usual
Bitten by love
Now I'm shy
You give me hope for happiness
With glimmer in your eye

The troubled serpent seeks me
in the dimness of the night,
in the luminescence of stars,
in the hallowed shadows;
it asks me to relive
and I beg of him,
saying,
was eve eating the apple
not enough?

I don’t know of what sins
you think I may have
or will commit,
but must I, too,
suffer for the ones others did?
Why do I have to constantly
be in a headspace that allows
for these things to happen
over and over,
when I was not the one
to keep taking bites of forbidden fruits?

I thought after
all these years of
being bitten and scratching sores,  
I'd eventually grow a thick enough skin
to keep out the mosquitos.
I was wrong.
Even so, mosquitos are nothing compared
to the itch I've got for you.
You see, mosquito bites are only skin deep,
but I've got this ravenous hunger for you,
gnawing at my bones.

A warm summer night,
The moon winked at its reflection on the still lake,
A lively  crowd,
The music blared,
A barbeque party,
The smell of delicious grilled chicken made my stomach rumble,
Hurriedly I grabbed some with chips, yanked open a coca tin,
And sat down on the grass with friends.
I had worn shorts,
That was a grave mistake.
The mosquitoes were excited,
A pair of young fresh legs,
What a grand banquet,
They headed straight for my legs and arms,
"Ouch!" I cried after several stings.
"Delicious," they hummed aiming at my legs again and again.
"Hey" I don't give out  free blood samples" I hissed.
I swiped my palms on my legs.
Several lay dead.
I had killed their parents.
The mean mosquitoes took revenge,
They landed on my face,legs and arms and stung fast and furious.
I yanked a tube of insecticide repellent cream and spread on my open body parts.
"Now have your feast and die!"

Your eyes are dark
They hide your darkness within
Waiting to be ousted
Your lips are red like a rose
Full and bee stung
Your pose inviting me to take a bite
Come to me and be a creature of the night

I’d like to kiss your neck with butterfly bites
Hold you tight
In a death grip
Lead you to the undeath with breathless sighs of love
Deep within your soul as you stare into my ageless eyes

I’ll hold you tight as I bite
Caress you as you fall
As the death calls
I’ll let you feed on me

Finally when you are sleeping
I'll take you to my tomb
I’ll be your groom you my bride

We will hide from the sun that you need no more
Then when the pale moon rises we will hand in hand
Under its light
I’ll be your eyes your sight
The most important light in your eternity

Nothing will touch you my eternal red rose
As this is the life you chose
When you invited me to take a bite.