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Jack Jul 2014
~

Happy Birthday Wishes Sye


Sye, a few of your friends wanted to send you happy wishes on this
your 17th birthday. I hope you enjoy this.  

~~~

Happy Birthday Sweet Niece!
Sye, you are beyond amazing in your talents for writing, your beauty of soul and your caring and compassion. What a gift to our community on HP and the entire Universe that you are here! I am so very glad I met you!!! I hope this birthday and the year ahead are the best ever for you!
With much love,
Aunt Pamela

~~~

Seventeen, as cute as seven.
Funny as Hell, sweet as Heaven.
It's not hard to grasp just why
We love you so deeply, Sye.

Birthday hugs from Norway!
-Sverre

~~~

Sweet Seventeen, a year so Sweet to bring Your Dreams into the World, Live them Proud and True, just for You!!
I Wish You a Very Happy Birthday Sye!
~ Venusoul7~

~~~

Happy Birthday "Daughter"
You are a Blessing who touches each life you enter,(as you have mine)
My wish for you this day, is that the Love and Happiness return to you ten-fold.
Happy B-Day Sweetheart! Paula

~~~

Hippy buffday to you!
Wishing you blessings anew
May your days be
Full of sunshine and laughter
And joyful songs too ***
Petal Pie

~~~

Happy Birthday Sye

A day of Celebration
of contemplation
The last remains of a year
The dawn of the new

A dawn...
Filled with wonder
With beauty
An adventure

Bask in the sunshine
Embrace the rain
From pain
Do you grow

My wish for you...

Live life
Open hearted

Your flower is blooming
Revealing the beauty
Within your heart and soul

Kelly Rose

~~~

17 candles a top the fruit cake
Your friends and family
Nigh to celebrate this great milestone
Wine glasses raised~
In honor of you
God has added yet another year
May your life be filled with so much joy~
And good health be your portion always
Happy birthday Sye…

Cassie

~~~

May Sye have a wonderful birthday as wonderful as her poetry.
Briar Thornit

---

Hello young Sye on the occasion of your birthday. You are a young lady who has so much still to offer the world of poetry and you can only get better

Keep on writing Sye

Old man Joe

~~~

Happy Birthday Sye

Young at heart, a mind for words
may you have a day of joy,
With many happy returns,
have fun let it all go its your day
so do what ever is your fancy
Have well remembered birthday fun :)

Poetic T :)

~~~

Only friends for a while
yet I know you're so kind
with that beautiful smile
you'll never be left behind

This wee bonnie lass
has a birthday today
such a kind and sweet soul
in our hearts she'll forever remain

Have a fantastic day Sye **

Louise

~~~

Tae Sye

Wi' a' the monie ways tae say,
I find I lack skill;
Tae ye, wi' a' me greetings lay,
Pray, o't, tak yowre fill!

Och, sic a bonnie lass as ye,
My hearty blessin';
Sae monie mowre ye Birthdays be,
Wi' a' the dressin'!

'Tis a sma' thing tae say,
Happy, Happy, Birthday!

'Tis a' for thee
Dear S. Y. E.

~Timothy~

~~~

Princess Sye you are amazing:) I have came to learn so much by you, and you have been a wonderful friend to me:) I hope this birthday finds you well:) Miles of smiles and much love always:)

Jonathan E Furches

~~~

betterdays 2 days ago
hello sye
my understanding is it is your17th birthday ....in honour of that and your amorevolous nature
i give you, these word gifts.
two quotes:
"blessed are the curious,
for they shall have
adventures"
Lovelle Drachman.
and
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone"
attributed to,
Audrey Hepburn
but really Sam Lenvenson.
and
my best wishes for a, eellogofusciouhipopp-okunurious (good)
day
hugs and kisses
betterdays
p.s.amorevolous- loving and giving beyond self, nature.

~~~~

Dear Sye,

Uh - 17. Young enough to be stupidly foolish and wise enough not to realize it. Your writing has touched many, including me. Thanks for sharing your inner self. Happiest of Birthdays to you Miss Sye. Wishes for many happy returns of the Day.
Your friend in poetry, Kim

~~~


"I look at you and see so much promise
so full of life and always ready to help
although I have not known you much
I can see your beautiful soul through your words.
You turn 17 today and my wish for you is simple,
I hope you have enough courage to stand your ground,
to write what's true to you and do all that you love,
that you follow your dreams and
be the beautiful woman you were meant to be.

Happy Birthday, Sye :)
- H.U."

~~~

Sye as in sigh but also the world, from Korea to marine flag languages and morse code like this ...-.--.
I saw your name as a barcode while shopping for words,
these are what I bought: Happy Birthday to you Sye the World.

Regis Keuren

~~~

Sweet sixteen plus one
Oh what fun
The Sye flower will blossom
More and more so awesome.
She is loved by many here
Who find her so Dear.
Happy Birthday Dear Sye
Now you may cry.

Grandpa john

~~~

Happy birthday to my beautiful little sis! I wish you the most spectacular of days and the best of years. You deserve all the happiness and love, life has to offer!

You have been such a great friend and are always so kind and supportive. You amaze me with your wisdom and talent, sweet one. I am in awe of you, gorgeous! I feel so blessed to have met you!

Syeshine

The radiance
Beaming from
Your golden heart
Eclipses the sun
Sending light
And love
To all who bask
In the warmth
Of your sweet
Friendship...

Love you Sye!

Your adoring sis,
Kalypso

~~~

Thank you Sye for your excellent poetry as it's a gift to us all. Best of wishes on your birthday; you deserve all of the attention you get and, thanks to Jacks rally of poets, this attention can get to you. With pleasure, I salute thee -

Peter Watkins

~~~

Happy Birthday Sye! You are going to go so far in this world sweetie! Have an amazing day my friend! Continue to write amazing poetry.
Peace and Love
Margaret

~~~

Birthday wishes sent to you in hope that all your dreams come true x

Calpurnia Mockingbird

~~~

Oh, my Sye, my sweet, sweet, Sye
Wonderful sister and dear poet of mine
Words emerge from your stunning mind
And paint visions for all to read
But today is not about what you create
It's what God created 17 years ago
A wonderful person and talented friend
My non-blood sister to the end
Happy birthday my dear sister
Today is dedicated solely for you
Live it up and enjoy the wonders of life
And make sure to get some cake too!

Madalyn Beck

~~~

And now it is my turn. To my sweetest friend on your special day…
As you look above and see all of these people, your friends and family
from Hellopoetry sending you love and beautiful birthday wishes,
I want you to know that you are my best friend in the entire world
and I wish you all that makes you smile, every happiness and joy
this coming year and those to follow have to offer.

Happy Birthday sweet Sye.

Your smile lights the world,

Jack
Thank you to everyone who participated in this with me. I appreciate your kindness more than you know.
Agnis Lynota Feb 2013
Happy birthday to the greatest person that I have had the pleasure of knowing
Happy birthday to the smile that made my Tuesdays and Fridays
Happy birthday to the person who showed me compassion
Happy birthday to the the person who shared so many stories
Happy birthday to the person who made me feel like I'm more than thought
Happy birthday to the person who held me when I couldn't walk
Happy birthday to the person who talked to me when I couldn't talk
Happy birthday to the most gracious and special person in my life
Happy birthday to the person who was always told me to keep my chin high
Happy birthday to the person whose love showed me theres much more than the bad times
Happy birthday to the person who I could never fully repay even in an eternity
Happy birthday to the only person who understood me and loved me anyways
Happy birthday to the bright face that I will never cease to think of
Happy birthday to the person who is in a place much greater than ours
Happy birthday to the person that kiss me goodbye far too soon
Happy birthday to the person that is still alive in every beat that my heart beats
Happy birthday to you, Meemaw.
May God himself give you the gifts and the love that I can't give to you
You watched me take my first breath, and I watched you take your last
Your kisses, wise words, warm embraces, and unique love will never be just memories,
but they will shine through the rays of the sun and brush through my hair in the wind
Aladdin Aures H Dec 2016
Redeem My Soul, And Write It On Walls
Happy Birthday To You My Sweet Princess
Strong And Determined With All Our Flaws
My Love For You, Shall Never Pause
Please Accept These Birthday Flowers
Filled With Love, From The Highs Towers
Graceful, Like A Rose In Full Bloom
Known As The Most, Natural Perfume
Beauty Surpassed Oceans And Sky
One Is Special, Never Going To Be Dry
Let Me Fill Your Day With Joy
Like A Child, With A Brand New Toy

Happy Birthday To You On The Top Of The Moon
Happy Birthday From The Morning To Afternoon
Happy Birthday In The Whole Night
Happy Birthday To You, So Shine Very Bright

My Angel Descended On A Day Like This
Heavens Cried For What They Would Miss
I Love To Feel Your Chill Upon My Skin
I Love To Seel Your Breath Upon My Chin
I Love To Make Your Head To My Chest Too
And Make You Feel My Heart, Beat So True
Two Angels Meeting In The Perfect Sky
Two Lovers Cuddle, Staring Eye To Eye
Two Parts Of A Loving Whole
Two Hearts And One Single Soul
Does Not Matter If You Are Tiny Or I'm Tall
Cause I Will Hold You To The Sky Like A Fool

Happy Birthday To You On The Top Of The Moon
Happy Birthday From The Morning To Afternoon
Happy Birthday In The Whole Night
Happy Birthday To You, So Shine Very Bright

I Will Write It So Clear On The Biggest Stone
Draw It On The Sky With Clouds, Or Perfect Moon
Shouting It From Earth To The Whole Univers
Singing And Dancing Even If I Get The Buzzs
Show Me The Whole World From Your Face
To Fall In Love So Tight, Don't Blame Me In Such Case
I Love You Whatever You Looks Like
I Love You For What You Do And What You Make
Allow Me To Show My Love In Your Day
And Don't You dare To Be The Kind of Shy
I Will Seal The Oceans, To See Your Light
Or Even Fly In The Sky Very Hight

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Author/ Aladdin Aures HAMDI
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
s u r r e a l  Jun 2016
Birthday.
s u r r e a l Jun 2016
it is my birthday.
but the world has long disowned me.
honestly--I ask--why do I bother?
as there must be something there for me--out in the viscera.
for I, am still here.

it is my birthday.
but the public has long shunned me.
faces thick as bedrock and eyes as dull as mint wrappers.
and they use sound to blind them.

it is my birthday.
and no one seems to help.
for it is not always happy to know,
you're one day closer into the arms of the cease-r.

it is my birthday.
and words rule no meaning.
for no one listens to me.
and no one hears what I'm hearing.

it is my birthday.
and my marrow weakens as I breath.
but bones sleep with welded lips 'neath the coat of earth.
and--with shame--I shall, too, be nothing but empty research.

it is my birthday.
and I force myself to nature.
O sand, is it true they pick you up and throw you in the wind?
O sea, is it true you get stuck in the mouths and stomachs of the young?
O hair, is it true you scream when the air beats you?
but I don't hear--and I know many.

it is my birthday.
and I breath false air.
is it true the ones that speak ill are on their death bed?
is it wrong I wish for them to speed up time?
is it wrong I point the reaper in their direction?
so I needn't worry of their illness spreading to mine.

it is my birthday.
and we are all gathered for tea.
the masochists sit by the sadists; that's the rule,
so the sadist may draw that ball-point pen deep along their slate skin--and whisper the names of forgotten authors,
so they may both moan with delicious harmony together--for two presents in one.

it is my birthday.
and the masochists ask me to join.
they write each other's eulogies
and revise--revise--'til there are none.

it is my birthday.
for now you know not,
of what I wish, but what I need,
a master.

for I am not one.

it is my birthday.
and not all wishes deem true,
for it seems no one cares of my words--my work--my blood--my tears--
a hymn to whomever it may concern--have you no mercy?

it is my birthday.
and I have not found them.
I have not found the right.
for only airless voices with no mouths, eyes that wish for many more, and souls that have lost time have found me.

and I am one of them.

and 'neath my heart,

I always will be.

for it is my birthday,

and wishes don't come true.
Written when I felt like there was no one to care for what I wrote--and a story to those who feel the same.
Yesterday was your birthday

All day, my hands weighed me down

With the itch to text you to wish you a good day
With the need to grip a steering wheel, navigating me to your house
With the idleness feeling sinful as I wasn’t baking you confetti cake
With the feeling of being misplaced against anything that wasn’t your skin

To keep my hands busy I piled memory into a grinder
And
Ground
Ground
Ground

Turned the parts as if I was winding up a music box
Because this sound was full
In comparison to
The pit of my stomach that was still waiting to
Share your birthday cupcakes with you

When the flashbacks filtered into my brain
The high was pulled lower still
By the weight of my hands
So that all I could do was cross them
And pray a prayer worth all of the birthday gifts I’ve ever given

“Please, God, on this day make him forget himself.

Please, God, let him find a sweet tooth for things other than the melancholic poison he puts in his coffee

Please, God, let him not remember the time when he broke open too wide and let me slip out of him

Please, God, allow him to feel something, on this birthday, even if it’s just his birthday candle blisters

Please, God, give him his heart back, as it is buried in the past that I was never gifted to know

Please, God, let me not weigh him down with a guilt seed that would root him to a chapter in his life that he wishes he could rewrite

Please, God, let me stop dreaming of him.
I know what it means when I dream of someone.
I know it’s your way of wordlessly telling me I’m being thought of.
Do not let him think of me.


Please, God, fill the parts of him that his worker’s hands have carved out of himself so cleanly.

Visit the wounds that sit in his posture
Will his veins to carry his soul back to his heart

Remind him that his sadness is his own special brew
That he continues to sip at his leisure

Help him understand that feeling lonely
Comes from his own brain that remembers isolation better than love

Please, God, give him
A better year.
A good year.
A year when his time won’t be stolen by someone so insignificant
That he has to translate her words into the language of gibberish,
Until they mean nothing at all anymore.

Please, let him find someone.
Please, let that person captivate him.
Please, let that person know him.
Please, let that person sit in bed with him and feel their good fortune in their bones.
Please, let that person see the moon in his fingertips and realize that they can control the tides, if he wants them too.
Please, let him smile at this person, in ways that would be ugly in pictures, but beautiful in my memory.

Please, God, let that person be HIM.

Please, God, if you won’t cut the ribbon to the start of his new life, at least give him the scissors.

He will say “No, Thank you.”
He will say he does not need your help, because he knows the power of his paint brush,
and that he is too busy washing color out of his brushes to take hold of the harsh metal,
And then he will make confetti of your offer.
He will shred every pleasant thought that comes his way.
He will cut himself open and gaze at every beautiful thing, insisting he sees the wonder.
He will not see the wonder.
He will say he understands the things that live inside himself.
But he will turn their volume down
And tune deeply into the metallic music of sorrowful hollowness
He will go to extreme efforts to ignore the starting line that sits just outside of his comfort zone.

But, God, Please,
Send the trees to trip him
Make the animals chase him
Let him
Throw tantrums that are disguised as the silent treatment

But wrap him up in his ribbon, so that the only way he can move
Is forward.
Remind him that the scissors are always in his hand,
And he needs to learn that
They need not destroy.

Make the clouds rain on his new life,
And remind him that he has a knack for watercolors.

Lure him with oils
Guide him with spraypaint

This Year, show him the paint that
Will reteach color to him.

This year, let him understand that colors are bright,
But not the enemy.

Let him not fear red from the times that he bled,
Let him not cast away yellow, because the sun got in his eyes,
Let him not hate blue, because he almost drowned.

Build in him a reservoir for happiness, that could sustain him through this life that has already been too tragic.

God, on his birthday, please indulge these heavy hands so that they may not cross the fingers for his return,

Because God, it was not I who was born today,
And it was not me who was stiffed on birthday cake.

And though this prayer is selfish,
It is the only thing I can give him,
That he cannot refuse.”

And as I looked down to see my clasped hands, I couldn’t help remember
When one of them was yours.

And for my final birthday wish to you ,
I hoped that only your sleep
Could be relieved of the white knuckle tensions of restlessness

So that you may sleep, and know the peace that I felt,
When I slept next to you.



Happy Birthday,
I miss you.
Happy Birthday,
I’m sorry.
Happy Birthday,
This is selfish,
But Happy Birthday,
So were you.
I wrote this one a while ago, but have finally redrafted it enough to where I'm happy with it.
Simon Clark Aug 2012
Birthday,
Birthday,
Come my way,
Birthday,
Birthday,
Head my way,
Birthday,
Birthday,
Make my day,
Birthday,
Birthday,
Be me day,
Birthday,
Birthday
written in 2006
Jill Anderson Jul 2012
I was six years old
I got a stuffed piglet
From you
For my birthday.
I remember the picture you took.
Laying on the white couch
In my purple shirt
Hugging that tiny piglet
Tears in my eyes.
Tears of excitement maybe
Or maybe sadness because I knew I couldn't stay forever.
Stay in your house
Were I felt safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was eight years old.
We found out we could stay
Or so we thought.
You told us we wouldn't have to live with her anymore
We celebrated.
I was so very excited to be safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was nine years old.
We went to Washington to go to the water park
For my birthday.
You bought me a purple teddy bear.
I named him President Theodore Roosevelt.
I thought I was clever.
Karla sent Kate and I to bed so the adults could hang out
I cried.
I didn't get to say goodnight to my Daddy on my birthday.
I wanted one more hug
Before my dreams too me to a place
Where I could be forever safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was eleven.
We didn't go to the Enchanted Forest for the first year
For my birthday.
You bought me a giant stuffed dog
You somehow squeezed him in a rather small box
So I couldn't guess what it was
Because I was always able to.
I named him Beethoven
To be Mozart's new friend.
Wrapped up in his soft, tan body
I felt ever so safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was thirteen
My first birthday actually living in Oregon.
You made a huge chocolate-chocolate cake
The one with chocolate chunks sticking out of the frosting.
I blew out the candles not having a wish
The wish I made for the past twelve years finally came true:
I was living with you.
I was only allowed one piece of that amazing cake
For I had a swim meet in two days.
We celebrated as a family.
There was this picture taken of Karla and I.
Both smiling.
This may be the last one taken of us happy.
At the time I felt so safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was sixteen.
Most girls got to go get their license on their sixteenth birthday.
I spent my day in bed
Crying.
I asked for the day off from work.
You even made me call to ask if I could work
When you found out and yelled.
You screamed and yelled how I was always disobeying you
How once again I ruined your plans.
You made me stay in my room all day
My phone was taken away
I don't think I even ate that day or the next
You brought me a piece of cake before you threw out the rest
I simply stared at the chocolate-chocolate cake through tears
Hating myself for ruining my birthday.
Hating you for allowing me to hate myself
For not letting me feel safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was eighteen
I woke up to chocolate-chocolate cake
Tina made for me;
She didn't even know it was a tradition.
I was surrounded by friends all day.
But you never even called.
You didn't send a text,
Write a note on Facebook, or even a message.
My daddy didn't even wish me a happy eighteen birthday.
Instead I got to go swimming,
Eat veggie kabobs Sam made,
Surround myself with people who make me feel safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
Tomorrow I turn nineteen.
I am ignoring my birthday.
I will say thank you to those who write on my Facebook wall
But with no phone I will only call my mom.
We may go to dinner, my wonderful boyfriend and I.
But I refuse to celebrate.
That would in turn be thanking the man who created me
Who will not call
Will not write
That one that doesn't even give a **** if I am even still alive.
Who doesn't know where I am.
The one who kicked me out before I even turned eighteen.
That man who I am supposed to call my father.
My daddy who used to hug me
Hold me when I was scared
Made me feel safe
Loved
Wanted.
That same man who now makes me feel unworthy
Lost, confused, sad, angry beyond belief,
Because he won't even call me on my birthday.
So happy birthday to me!
I will not celebrate knowing the man who gave me life
The man who nineteen years ago held his baby girl
Not knowing he would one day ruin her
Make her feel so vulnerable
Unloved
Unwanted
On her birthday.
Aaron LaLux Oct 2016
Happy Fckn Birthday Boy

It’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

what am I doing,
how has my Life come to this,
most people think I have it good,
and I do but I’m still depressed,

I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,

headed in an unknown direction without any directive,

plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,

what’s left,

right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,

it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

wondering what there is left to celebrate,
I was already made an internationally known writer months ago,
that Moment has passed,
now I’m here trying to keep it together all alone,

it's my Birthday but I'm not present,
it's my Birthday but there are no presents,
it's my Birthday so I'll cry if I want to,
it's my Birthday "Happy Fckn Birthday", yeah what the fck is it to you,

a hundred people have messaged me,
wishing me a “Happy Birthday”,
and the only thing I want to reply with,
is “Could you be any more generic and cliche?”

Come on,
is that what our friendship is worth,
10 seconds out of your day,
and a few over used words,

I mean really,
I’m a poet and anyone that knows me or of me knows this,
so why when they write me,
wouldn’t they at least try to be at least a little more creative,

Jesus,

I feel so alone,

I go out and meet people,
but they are usually so uninspiring,
all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,


alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,

doesn’t anyone make love anymore?

No not here,
this is not a place for connection,
this is a place for superficial feelings,
and unruly heathens with no direction,

I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,

headed in an unknown direction without any directive,

plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,

what’s left,

right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,

it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

brought my parents together for the first time in my life,
observed them over the table at dinner they acted as awkward as I,
I wanted to tell them I am their only Son and I love them,
but I said nothing I just sat there and watched them passively fight,

no birthday candles to light,
no wish to make when I close my eyes,
no party no dancing,
just me alone under the full Moon's light,

but if I had a wish it would be this,

I wish I knew a way to heal us all,
I wish I knew a way to give everyone the love they need,
I wish I knew a way to tell you it all,
I wish I knew a way to make us new and free from our own insecurities,

met a girl tonight,
she said she was an alcoholic,
said she met a guy with Aspergers,
and that they went out together and she blacked out,

she said she liked the guy she met,
but she wasn't sure because of his condition,
I told her we're all a bit crazy in our own way,
and she shouldn't let a bit of crazy affect her decisions,

then I left her how I'd found her,
I was bored and it was time for me to go,
because I found her like I find most people,
which is totally uninspiring I told you before,

all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,

alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,

doesn’t anyone make love anymore?

Anyways,

it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand...

October 15th, 2016

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
Here's your Birthday Present
Is a birthday a birthday without
A celebration
A child of God on his creation

Is a birthday a birthday without
A cake
The sweet smell plus the time it took to make

Is a birthday a birthday without
Blowing out candles hot dripping wax
57 candles fire to the max

is a birthday a birthday without
Singing the song
A sadness lingered all day long

it a birthday a birthday without
A friend to share it with
Or are all these reasons just a myth

Pouring Rain   fierce winds   rocked my car
I walked the mall
Beauty Salon straighten my hair
No one to notice or care
shopped
Victoria Secrets, things I did not need but made me smile
The happness only lasted a short while
Sees candy, picked out my favorite kind
Still sad loneliness on my mind
Bed bath and beyond; rosewater candles
Surely the scent would cheer my mood
Perhaps
Chinese’s food
wonton soup and *** stickers To take home
Painful knee ended my time to roam
Reading comments,well wishers who
remembered my Birthday
I’m done celebrating now
ready for it to go away

Text messages Facebook too
I wish I understood I wish I knew
Why I feel this way
Tomorrow
will be
a bright
new day
Not sure why I feel this wat I spent my birthday alone
Jasper Lee Oct 24
Happy birthday.
Another year has gone by
And hopefully well spent.

I haven’t seen you this year,
Nor will I see you the next time I wish you a happy birthday.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your face at all.
Or heard your voice,
Listened to your laugh,
Or seen your smile.

What happened?
What happened to us?
Why did we pull apart like we did?
I mean, I know why I walked away.
I walked away for my own sanity.

But you,
You don’t have an excuse.
No, you just walked out.
You just walked out and left me here.
Left me alone.
Left me broken and hurt and scared and sad.
Not knowing what in the hell to do with myself.
You left me here to bleed out.

But that was years ago, right?
So what?
The past is the past.
Doesn’t matter now.
Okay, I’ll accept that.

I’ll pick myself up and I’ll walk on.
But why is it that whenever I hear someone say my name
For a split second, I think it’s you?
Some days I’m disappointed when it’s not.
And other days
I hold my breath hoping it’s someone else.

Happy birthday.
Another year has gone by of you breaking promises.
Another year has gone by of you breaking hearts.
And treating the people that love you the most like ****.

Happy birthday.
Even though you never call me on mine.
Even though I remember your birthday better then I remember how to breathe in the morning.
No matter how much I try to forget your birthday I’ll never get it out of my head.
I’ll always remember the day you were born,
I mean, how could I forget the day that my worst nightmare was born.

Happy birthday
To the one that crushed me.

Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
I repeat it as if it is a mantra to give me my sanity back.

You don’t have to answer my texts,
That’s fine.
I just want you to know that I’m wishing you a happy birthday.
And for every year that you have the same number
I will continue to wish you a happy birthday.

I you feel like responding, you will text back,
“Thanks.
How have you been?”

I will respond with,
“I’m doing fine,
How about you?”

And then you will go on a tirade for 20 or 30 minutes about how great your life is
Or how sad it is.
And then you’ll ask me,
“So, what've you been up to?”

And I’ll probably get one "I've been good" out before you say,
“Yeah, that’s nice.
It’s been good talking to you.
Bye.”

And I’ll sit there holding my phone in some state of shock.
I’ll try to replay the conversation.
Trying to replay every one of our conversations.
Trying to see where it went wrong.
Trying to figure out where the laughs and the “how are you”s and the “oh my gosh I missed you”s
Turned into “I can’t stand this conversation.”
“Make her shut up.”
“I have to go.”
Where did that switch happen?

Even though you treat me like **** and looking back you always have.
Even though you took the person I was and you pushed her away.
And you pushed her inside a box and stuck her in some damp closet where I couldn’t reach her.
Even though you turned me into someone I wasn’t.
Someone I didn’t want to be.
I will always wish you a happy birthday.
Cause even though you used me so much,
Part of me still hopes you love me.
July 9, 1998
Cara Christie Nov 2015
today's my birthday,
but i don't want presents
today's my birthday,
but i don't want wishes
today's my birthday,
but i don't want to be older
today's my birthday,
but i don't want a party
today's my birthday,
but i already have everything i want

they told me that my mom loved birthdays
they told me she'd stay up all night
baking cakes and cookies and pies
they told me she planned parties months in advance
they told me she loved to sing happy birthday
and that she had perfect pitch too

they told me she made me her
famous almond dream cake
for my first birthday
smothered in coconut frosting
with one little palm tree
precariously placed on top

they told me that she
learned to knit
just for me
to make me a soft blanket
adorned with the words,
my little angel, cara

today's my birthday,
but i don't want it to be

today's my birthday,
but i don't want to remember my mother
This is just a really hard day for me. Actually, it's been a really hard month. Sorry I had to subject you to such a sad poem :(

— The End —