Just because I write about you,
and sing about you,
doesn't mean I think about you too.

I'm just doing everything I gotta do,
Everything that let's me let go of you.
Everything is turning,
Oceans heated and churning.
Baby, what was I to do?

I loved so hard and long,
everything started turning blue.
and I hate it, man. Stayed faded, man.
Cause I started falling in love with blue, too.

I was crazy, that deep deep kind.
Weak and hazy, lost all of my mind.
Swear I didn't know what went down,
Or some days why we kept one another around.
I just wanted you to know, about the realness I found.
So different now.
So clear and out loud.
But the real me still hates,
how much I let us both down.

Why don't you look at me?

Why don't you see all the things that I see?

Why is all this unclear to you but not to me?

Why don't you look at me?

Why don't you feel the things that I felt?

Why haven't you held the burden's I've held?

why won't you look at me
why do you ignore the tears I do cry
why do you chase after time I cannot bide

why won't you look at me?
why won't you look at the face you've painted?

Aren't you proud of your work?

Changing my world's gravitation into your world's,
so you are the sole center of my universe

Aren't you happy with how I hurt?

Making me feel as though I am not real,
not really my own abode

Why won't you look at me?
*Aren't you *happy with your work?

A million things to apologize for.
Ten thousand times I wish Id said
"I'm really not ******* okay".
A thousand days I want to do
Over again.
A hundred times whispered
"I hate who I have become"

Ten days that all I saw
Was the end I need to carry out.

And one
Just one
Simple step.
Slide the knife
End your life.

But instead I held on.
I hoped for better.
I prayed I could be more.
And I found
That I'm not.

I'm still broken,
Still shattered,
Still lost.

I still hate who I've become.
Only now I scream it in my mind.
Hoping the world will hear
But praying no one will bother.

I don't want to be a burden
I just want to love her.
But maybe broken people are meant
To stay broken
And to break the things the touch.
Maybe I'm broken
Because I'm meant to be this way

This memory I have
Of the you I used to know
It's wrong on so many levels
But its made me grow
Taught me lessons
Of things I should know
About your character
The way you truly are
But it doesn't really matter
The truth can only go so far
The way that feels
And how I'll ultimately deal
I could never conceal
The love I feel is real
It's a shame
You don't feel the same way
Cause there's just something about me
And I knew there was chemistry
But for some reason
You never gave a **** about me
All the things I did
And would've always done for you
You'd think you'd learn
You'd think you'd have seen
But for some reason
**You never gave a **** about me

I've hid behind this mask for so long
that now I don't know who I am without it.

(Am I of worth without it?)