there's a teenage devil in my bed
who fills my flying head like
heavenly smoke with dreams of
black tiger stripe bruises that
slowly slink their playful way up
my siesta key tinted thighs

i'm tired of fighting, darling
my only wish is to get high
and give to you my lush cherry pie
but you roll con los bloods
and the look you're giving me
screams like sirens that i'd better run

i can't stay here where you
dream that tu eres mi amo
but i don't want to leave because
your big puppy eyes feel like home
if you only knew what i felt when you
swung your scarred fists or your hips

teenage diablo, eres mi rey,
mi tigre, your calendar kitten is calling while
white crystal **** sunshine illuminates
your pearly white fangs on this
lovely american birthday
i think i'll love you forever, daddy

something about your restless sighs and
that rock solid grip you maintain on my hips
melts my body into yours until all that
remains of me is a soft, purring song and
a high-pitched whine drowned out by those
low groans that make me promise not to stray

you don't even know how
much it pains me that you
can't see any beauty in the world
even though you have me,
your girl to shelter and mold.
you're always making excuses
and promises you can't keep
while expecting me to be true;
i know you don't love me.
at one moment there was the
faintest glimpse of love in your eyes
which faded to a glimmering
lightning bolt of lust.
the way you used to feel
is dead like my spirit and i'm
so close to putting you back on
the shelf from which i found you.
you do nothing but waste my time
and soak my face with tears.
my wedding dress is tattered,
daddy, you left me cold and blue.
if you no longer want me, my god,
i'm begging you just say it so
i can mourn your poor existence
and find my smile once again.

I feel anguished ; don't know
if that's foolish.
But I'll keep blowing hot and cold if you keep flipping
the switch.

It was the forbidden fruit
sticky sweet and dripping
down your greedy fingers
as you watched her
from the corner of your eye

Skin like glass
eyes like fire
a laugh that rings
a smile that touches the sky

She was magnanimous
unassuming
an unwitting host to your innermost desires

You stole the fruit
and you knew the consequence
but in the end
what did it matter?

An eternity of suffering for your disobedience
or a lifetime of regret from pushing it away?

They said the fruit was poison
that it would steal your breath
and take your soul

But how was that any different from
what she did to you?
How was it any different than
meeting her eye?

it's a thirty minute drive
from your house to mine
and yet you make it every time
to feel the heat between my thighs.

you are nineteen and i
am a small seventeen,
but that doesn't stop you
from lying to me everyday.

i used to be beautiful once,
a real dime they used to say,
but now i'm used and rotten;
only my youth and *** appeal remain.

he likes to watch my hips
shake and shimmy against his touch
and put me in his movies
that his friends all pay to watch.

did i know that john would ask
if i wished to be his twentieth?
why, yes, my dear, i did;
he asked me last june the same way.

you've got too many films
with me in the starring role.
i'm far too young to make them
and you are far too old.

come inside, i know you're dying
to see your movie queen.
did you bring the stuff;
the liquor and the ****?

they all tell me i
should leave you there,
but i'm too attached to go.
you loved me once on
the siesta key beach and
you promised me things
on my living room carpet
after we made love.

what happened to the man
who called me beautiful and
stayed up to see the sunset smile
on my golden flesh?
where did you go, my love?
i don't enjoy the slow
saturation of nectar tears
that trickle down my
cinema blue beaten face.

if i wanted to be used like
a piece of average teenage garbage
i would've stayed with the
drunken football player
or the alcoholic parolee
that loved me on a sheet next to
the street barely hidden by cars.
you're so worried about my past
that you can't see the blinding present.

my biggest regret was slipping you
into my ****** kiss the first time
i snuck out into the velvet night
to get a glimpse of you.
tell me, what makes you different
than ------ or ----- or ------?
you're just the same and as much of
a creep as ------- was.

you make me feel like i'm dreaming,
like i walk in a haze and i'm
tired of feeling crazy, summer stranger.
your threats don't frighten me
'cause they're emptier than your hollow ribs.
i'll call you when the moon rises and
the sun rules the tides or the bible parts
the seas the way you once parted my thighs.

Often times I don’t know how I am.
That one question holds so many possibilities,
And I can’t narrow them down to one.

How are you?
I’m not sure to be honest.

There are days I feel a raging inferno,
Where fire burns my insides,
making me curse the world that’s brought me to this point.

But other times, it’s a tidal wave of sorrow.
In those times I can’t even muster the energy to swim.
I’d rather let the world drown me than care about it for another second.

The worst times though are the happy ones.
They usually follow the wave and flame.
It’s like my emotions decided that they’ve had enough of one extreme,
And that it’s time to swing to the next.

I know these happy feelings won’t last-
As soon as that song ends,
As soon as I return to reality,
I will return to nothing.
Because I know this happiness is not a reflection of how I truly feel,
But a valiant effort to hide the storms inside of me.

So when people ask me,
How are you?
I say I’m fine.
I’ve gotten quite good at hiding anything,
Everything.

I am scared to acknowledge the natural disaster that is my soul,
For I fear that one day it will be my end.