You're my fault,
The product of my imagination,
Everything in life I wanted,
Everyone I wanted to live in stagnation,
I'd rather live in my anger,
Then let it live in me,
And if the meds aren't in my head,
It's all the broken images of what I wanted life to be.

Screaming hysterically
Pleading
For someone to hear
The pounding words of yearning live only in my mind
My mouth stays still
Lips locked in place
As tears drip silently down my face
Like wax sliding down a candles edge
As the flame flickers
I feel my light being blown
into nothingness
The screams in my mind grow desperate
as dark clouds vail my once excited eyes
I stare forward
No sparkle in sight
The shouting grows angrier
Thoughts roaring for release
My dreams
My hopes
Stay stuck in my throat

HEAR ME

Feelings of rage run through me
No outlet for my worries
Round and round they go
like a carousel on steroids
I need to release
But my voice is no more
Furious thoughts stay locked in my head
Racing and shouting without a way forward
Words never spoken
Lost without a trace
My mind grows full
Pressure building
Ready to burst

I pick up the .....
And ... my life

rage smells like smoldering embers,
rage looks like bloodstained fists,
rage sounds like elevated heartbeats,
rage feels like a tidal wave,
yet rage tastes like charred ashes,
because its twin causes upset,
her name, after all… is regret.

My body still carries the home I grew up in
I am still hiding from my father's anger
My mother's disappointment
Drowning them out was easier
When they did not speak with my own voice

God …
                         Is….

                                           Not…

HERE…..


GOD ( he will not save you from us,)

IS NOT (he will not save you from us)

HERE  (he will not save you from us)

Final brush of a belittled piggy
You’re number’s up
And I’ll fry this hog to the snout
Bring you to an end,
Render the fat of what remains
Grease to grind the axe
The axe that cuts the cord
Of all your false peace accords
Bridges burning brightly,
I’ll bring you death if you beg,
Good piggy, beg piggy, pay piggy
Need piggy, feed piggy

LET’S GET BUSY

GOD ….
                         Is…..

                                     NOT…

HERE….

He will not save you from us.

I have some questions,
Who the **** do i hold accountable?

And I know we've come so far,
We can now vote, drive and hustle on our own.

But,
Why we couldn't do it in the first place?
Why we still gotta cover ourselves?
Why do we still shame our women?
Why do we still **** our women?

Yeah, we have a long way,
Now we can go to uni and bars and sway.

But,
Why do we still slutshame our women?
Why do we praise single dads,
And i know it's good that they stay;
But why do we still mock single moms,
When they nurture the same?

And yeah, we've come so far...
But are we sure we're not going
Backwards after all?

Because what do you mean Afghani women can't become doctors?
What do you mean you say they can't get treated by men,
They can't get treated at all, their life's become vain?

What do you mean they can't speak in public or show their skin?
Why are we after our own kin?

What do you mean you've banned abortions?
And contraceptive pills too?

You say it's just a mistake,
That he's just neurodivergent,
And honestly that's just insulting towards them,
And i can already hear the sirens.

You say Musk did the Roman salute,
And not the **** one,
As if fascism makes it better .
What do you mean it's all good,
Until a billionaire is getting criticism?

You say everything is fine,
As if you don't keep banning books.
We all joke about "going places",
I think you're going Germany, 1939!
And what do you mean I'm more worried,
When the country isn't even mine?

You say 'Make America Great Again',
As if it was great in the first place.
Because what do you mean you all
Voted for a felon with with a straight face?

You called her Nirbhaya 2.0
As if Dr. Moumita was a movie sequel,
And not one of the million victims of ****.
Why does it seem you all don't really care,
And it's like a trend formed everywhere?

At least some things are still consistent,
Like how equality and justice isn't served,
To neither Dr. Moumita or Atul Subhash in India,
And India cares more about India's Got Latent,
After all it brings more TRP to media.

I am so exhausted of all this ****,
And how it has become so recurring.

And millions of my questions are still unanswered,
Who the **** do i hold accountable?

I much prefer the sadness.
though overwhelming, choking
it is rooted in love, in remembering
in the loss of something real, tangible, beautiful.
The anger is much worse, wicked
a fabricator of the truth:
that it didn't matter to you
and maybe never did.
I'll take salt water filling my lungs
burning, flailing, gasping for air
if it meant never forgetting you

I can't quite place my rage
if you can even call it that
angry at your optimism in us,
in what you were capable of
angry with myself for letting you in
angry that I tried, again
only for it to end the same way