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Kashfiya Ahsan May 2020
The saddest word
In the whole world
Is the word “almost”
By which the hearts curled.

He almost made it
She almost had forever
They almost survived
I was almost enough clever

He was almost loved
She almost didn’t lie
They almost won
I almost didn’t cry.

Sometimes I lay awake
Wishing for the world to burn
Sadly I don’t make the rules
But it’s going to be my turn

My turn to change the rules
My chance to not quit
Time to improve my destiny
And, I “almost” made it.
aphrodite Apr 2020
when the goodbyes are for good,
after months of caving into yourself,
sadness spilling out of yourself,
you begin to let go of the things that only ever almost existed -
but died before they could live outside of your mind:
the weekend getaway to new york city you almost booked,
the christmas lights on the roof we almost put up,
the 'i love you' that you almost meant.

you learn to let go of the potential happy endings:
throwing our caps up at the graduation we almost made it to,
the hidden trail we almost hiked,
the new year's eve kisses we exchanged for almost 4 years in a row.
but there are things that still swell beneath the surface -
every exhale threatening to spill the words i almost said,
every memory embedded in a cinematic masterpiece so beautiful that it can only be viewed through rose-coloured glasses.

so i lay them down here:
a graveyard for every almost,
a cemetery for every possibility,
a sanctuary for every end of the line disguised as a new beginning.
and i let them rest in peace.
i bring them flowers once a year,
daisies because they remind me of your smile.

i pay my respects and mourn the love that could have been.
i thank you for almost being the best thing that ever happened to me.
i thank you for the laughter that almost lasted forever.
i thank you for almost loving me without end.
AnxiousOcean Mar 2020
A white silhouette waiting afar
Under a bleeding mirror, I ran
The stars dived in the honey lake
Where sweet embers sprouted late

If you could hear the wind chimes
Floating by the moonlight's memoirs
Then you are near the drowning city
Where everything is but debris

Do not go too far where you are standing
For the deaf eyes can smell your fears
I suggest you cry, cry even harder
Unless you can breathe underwater

When someone asks for your help
Let the owls feast on his blood
The origami rose will cover your ears
As the faceless shadow will lick your tears

I was about to reach your silhouette
But the White Rabbit led me elsewhere
My eyes opened suddenly
And it was the first time I woke up happy
Nat Lipstadt Mar 2020
for her.

<>

“you will laugh with surprise, as the anointing oil of relief
crowns your head, slicking down to caving cavities,
river running in crevices, that feed the buried places, replenishing the almost forgotten secret of letting go”^

                                                         ~

the mind caches certain skills, once learned, never to return,
but tucked away, just in case, maybe, in the nightstand junk drawer of: “don’t need it now but, ****, you never know”

kept around in the lost and hopefully, not to be searched for & found,
a skill set painfully gained, a muscle memory, flabby from no use
but quick taut tightly, snapping back when ****, here we go again

I loved you in ways theoretical impossible till you enabled the possible

lost you for no good reason, in an act history labels beyond belief,
refuses to record, lest by memorializing it became/becomes re-realized,
this intolerable, would be past the ****** eroding barrier reef

the difference between junk and treasures is in which drawer placed,
the steps to letting go once learned, cannot be forgot, the cost,
way way too high, kept around, in a damnable place beyond grief

not to close, handy, findable but easily, avoided, but strange, when
living in the epicenter of the virus, you do some cataloguing, ridiculous,
this touchy-feely escapade, nothing ****-it to be gained, all-too-brief

head shake, took a pandemic to make you go back, rustling among
the ancient, old hand-writ poems, another keepsake kept for reasons
known and unknown, to be **** sure you once owned it, survival skills

In the Pandemic Days of Almost,
somethings will die, some go forgotten,
but the almost-forgetting-skill will survive,
a necessity of the how-to’s:


how to grieve,
how to believe,
how to leave
but live on,
hoarding
all the **** necessaries
ready to be retrieved



<>
Tuesday Mars 24 Twenty Twenty noon

In the Epicenter, New York City
basil Mar 2020
holding you
is like
embracing the
sun

i am the only one
that gets burned
i'm attracted to a light that can't love me back
sankavi Jan 2020
you were a perfect symphony
you were the most beautiful storm

and for a second there
I almost thought you'd be mine
I haven't been able to write a lot . . .
or talk to the person I love.
Not because I don't want to
but because I literally couldn't!
Around December 19
I got in a major car accident.
I needed over 53 stitches,
I have bone bruising,
I've been in a lot of pain not gonna lie.
but when my life flashed before my eyes,
I saw my BFF Chris (yk the one who helped me a while back).
and I saw the person I love the most . . .
But my mom, is letting me have cosmetic surgery
to cover the scaring.
But none the less I did get to come home for the holidays
even if the reason was to see a doctor or two.
so it's like 3 am and I can't stop crying I'm in so much pain,
both physical and mental.
Thought I'd give an explanation, on why I haven't been able upload.
I have been writing, in a notebook someone gave me.
I you Noah, I saw our entire relationship flash before me. And I've come to realize, I regret nothing, how could I? When I read what you texted me . . . . I started to cry again ngl lol.
Anonymistress Dec 2019
The back and forth.

The contradictions.
The inconsistency.

Compassion is not an inconvenience, remember that.
annh Dec 2019
Sometimes I'm an apathist,
Infrequently an anarchist,
Mostly an apologetic aesthete,
And almost never myself.

Whatever...f$@k it...sorry...hello.
'To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.'
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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