written December 9, 2015

"You're like super glue on my heart
I can't stand you and I apart
You mean more to me than you will ever know
And all I can do is attempt to show you
The imprints you leave on my heart, like a pillow that indents slow and smooth
The things you say, the things you do
I really can't get enough of you
Stuck in love they may say, but I'm stuck on you day to day
You never leave my mind, that's a fact
Please don't leave, please come back
You mean the world to me, and I need you to know
You're the best thing that's happened to me
and I love you so"

written December 24, 2014

"As I walked inside the flood of memories came pouring down into the deep depths of my empty stomach
And my heart dropped down with them, when I first saw you
Feeble, exhausted, and glued to your bed
Throat so inflamed that barely any words were said
Wishing things were different, but there's nothing we can do
Besides sit and watch a movie together, inside the hospital room
When you caressed my hand, I felt it straight in my heart
Like a pathway to my happiness, you are the start
Our time was cut short, and I had to say goodbye
Our hands fell from our intertwine, to our sides as I looked you in the eyes for this last time
And said, 'bye'
But don't worry my love, I'll be back soon
And I promise I love you from the ground to the moon (and back)"

written January 25, 2015

"Even a two hour absence of you is enough to make me break down crying wondering why you left
I'm anxiously awaiting a message from you but the phone screen remains as black as the night above
And it makes me wonder, scared shitless if the day comes when I no longer have you, and the phone screen remains message-less
days upon days
Because just these two hourss, and I'm already consumed with thought on why you're not texting me back
And today is the day I know I'm in too deep"

written February 15, 2015

"The feeling of him leaving scratch marks down my back
doesn't add up to the feelings I get when you rub it
And the feeling of him biting at my lips
cannot compare to the sweet kisses you place upon them

I was wrong to do such a horrible thing
You don't deserve my disloyalty

In a way it was an awakening for me
Because it reminded me how hard life would be
If you were not with me

Rough *** is great from time to time
but all I really want is someone to hold me tight
and tell me they love me
You're the perfect bachelor for that

Our sloppy drunk kisses meant nothing to me
It was temporary

And I'd rather have sober pecks
then a long drunk mistake anyway"

written February 23, 2015

"I wish we could be no strings attached
But these strings have already been knotted, tangled and latched
I'm trying to overcome these feelings inside
By untangling the knots one at a time
Until I can subside
and you can quit the lies"

written March 9, 2015

"There is war raging inside my mind
I'm not fine
Need someone to help pull out, analyze, and perceive these feelings I'm feeling
deep down inside
And I'm trying
To cope with my sporadic brain
Please don't avoid me today
and everyday
Because it feels as if you're slipping away
and I cant handle this pain
I know you love me, I can feel it deep inside
But the feeling of overwhelming anxiety is higher
Has me contemplating, thinking that you may be a liar
And I'm tired
of my mind playing these stupid on and off games
Not knowing which direction my mind is aimed
So I take every day, as it comes and goes
Trying to embrace those harsh and lonely "lows"
Hoping for the best, I'm not doing so well
I didn't know loving someone causes your world to turn to hell"

written April 14, 2015

"Hiding the pain is becoming harder and harder each day
Why did you have to go away?
Why didn't you want me to stay?
Your claim says 'it's not you it's me'
But if that was the case, things wouldn't be
like this
I can't stop thinking about the times we kissed
And the flirtation between you and I
I just can't cope with this anymore
I can't stop feeling this way inside
I am constantly repressing it
acting like it doesn't matter
But when two people collide, talk for five months every day and then stop
their hearts should shatter
Mine has, like glass thrown on the floor
I have so much love for you, I want to show you more
But you cut me off like a tag on clothing
A quick snip, and we're done - I don't need you anymore
What you didn't know, was I was there for you, to help guide you you and chersh you
And I can't believe you did this to me
All I did was try to be the best to you
Because I love you dearly
This separation is nearly
the breaking point
for me"

written April 5, 2015

"Downing whisky like it's medicine
Downing sleeping pills like it's my life
I need someone to come along and make everything right
My mind is distorted when you're not around
I'm terribly mistaken and constantly feeling down
Most might see me as moved on
Truth is I still haven't grasped that you're gone
It hits me at times when I'm all alone
Or times where I'm out, away from home
But the times that cause the most amount of pain
Is the days where I hear 'he won't change'
Because you were my everything, why can't you see?
I ******* love you Alex
I made that easy to perceive"

you are love personified.

I really enjoy school,
like, really REALLY enjoy school.
Aside from the insurance of a happier future, which will come in time,
there's also that guarantee of a happier time, which is now,
which is whenever she's around.

Whenever she's around, I do better, simple as that.
It's the simplest fact, she motivates me.
She motivates me to get that 100%, to do more than just pass,
to get A's as straight as Rulers used in geometry class,
Shout out to Mrs. L!

And you know what isn't enough?
7 periods in a day.
Give me 10 more commas, a hyphen, anything, to help me catch my breath –
she's taken it all, and with it she ran away.

She takes notes as efficiently as the way she passes them to me.
I'd study our nation's entire timeline, and still make time for dinner and a movie.

She makes me smile like there were helium balloons tied to the ends of my lips,  
balloons, red like my cheeks, as they touch the ends of your fingertips,

But before it can rise  past the stratosphere,
Take my hand, let's get out of here,
I don't need to be in chemistry class,
We've already taught each other that,
and truthfully my dear,

we've got a bond stronger than H2O.

So drown me in memories we've made,
and hold me under the ones we will.

If I have to be wherever you are, no matter how far, I'll be there still.

You make perfect attendance so **** easy to me.

xoxo