Crushed animal bones
Pulverizing teeth into powder to snort
Diamonds and emeralds glued to you
Your face disgusts me

Anorexic ****
My brain threw up today’s thoughts
You can’t call me bulimic
I’m way past that

Tough jaw
Raw eyes
Dry lips
****** nose

A tea bag of ungulate organs
The water is crimson
Burgundy hues look like an oil spill
It tastes like hate

Skin the cat
Hang it like a flag
Tie your shoes together
Don’t fall and scrape your knees

Tough jaw
Raw eyes
Dry lips
****** nose

Velvet puppies
Smiley and slobbery
Hair like clouds
Make me feel happy

Melancholic pills
The dogs are dead
Fur smeared on the wall
Black tar on their snouts

Tough jaw
Raw eyes
Dry lips
****** nose

My diet of dirt
Feasting on the flowers
Petals ache like my stomach
I get lost in the fields

Popping balloons with a child
Poking their arms with needles
Red rivers flow out
They stare in awe and terror

Tough jaw
Raw eyes
Dry lips
****** nose

My vocal cords are shredded
Torn out of my system
I want to whisper, “I love you”
But you only hear me scream

I taste something new
It hurts my tongue
I wonder what it is
Crushed animal bones

2am Friends

winter has set the boundage, bars of chill, escape-urge killers,
self-imprisoned by our ruthless timidity, that both comforts yet,
worse violates our truthful, unwanted inadmissible-neediness by
purging the touches and the knowing kindage, this then,
this preface, your reminding of-as-of-yet untouched,
half-invitational, half-regret, half-cursed, whole red need for
2am friends
to fill the void that poems can n’ere fill

1/1/18

You whisper behind the door
Its soft and almost non existent
Against the noise of the everyday world its drowned out
But at night when all is still I hear it

You ask me why
Ask me if it's too late
Ask me to try again
Tell me its sink or swim

And I'd love to tell you to shut up
Or get a better door
But there is a hint of reality in what you are saying
And it leaves me listening for more

"What did you do this summer"
Flashbacks of me waking up at 2am to eat
Flashbacks of me up all night watching the office
Flashbacks of me sleeping in the day
"So much" I answer with a smile

2 am
At this ungodly hour everything reminds me that you’re gone.
I’m here under the sheets
And I don’t feel your cold feet
Rubbing against mine anymore
Broke down as if I lost a war
Where the winner took it all
All the good left in me
And even if I know this wasn’t meant to be
coming to terms with reality is hard
Actually, it’s the worst part
But I know I’ll get through the dark
Because I do it every night
I’ll wake up from this nightmare
And I’ll see the daylight.

I remember once, long ago
When you were my entire world
You sent me a text at 2.a.m
The time of the lonely, loving and lustful

I thought it was because,
you were thinking about me.

But it’s taken years
For me to realize
You were never lonely, loving or lustful
Not for me anyway

But because I was an afterthought
I will always be your afterthought

I suppose I should be honest
I am confused

One minutes i'm ****** that you won't even say Hi
And the next I understand because I don't know how to face you

So I suppose I'm sorry
Sorry because there is no easy way to do this